Any tips to get me through a smear test?

[Ohnoducks]

I'll start by saying I always go, every 3 years, but they never go well. If you've never been for one please go, my experience is far from normal and every 3 years I tell the nurse it may take a while which is why I have booked a double appointment, they don't believe me 'I'll have you in and out, been doing this 20 years never had a lady on the table more than 5 minutes' etc, I just seem to have a bit of a shy cervix.

I have a tilted uterus although I'm not sure if that's what causes the issues. I had a full pelvic last year that required gas and air to get through and they still couldn't get the angle right for all the tests they wanted. I went for the smear this week and after 40 minutes, 2 nurses and a gp they still hadn't found my cervix and I was very very sore, so I have to go back the end of this week and they've given me diazepam to take before hand. They always have me put my fists under my pelvis to change the angle. Does anyone else have challenging anatomy (or is a nurse or doctor) and have any other tips at all which might make this week's repeat test a success?

God, what a palaver. I empathise. I have a tilted uterus and have had nurses give up too.
Diazepam should do the trick? I have been known to have a glass of wine first and some painkillers. Probably a terrible combination actually, don't do that.
Recommend also that you focus on your breath and try some self-hypnosis woo. I try to drift away into a safe place in my head and ignore what they are doing. Definitely helps. You could practise before?
Good luck! When I found a nurse who could find my cervix I actually refused to leave the GP practice when we moved as I never wanted to start again!

Me!!!!

I have a tilted cervix too - I've only ever had 2 (I'm 29) but always go when I'm due. First time at the doctors the nurse tried, then got another nurse and then a doctor (I don't cope well with things down there) and I had tears streaming and they were lovely and said they would refer me to the colposcopy clinic at the hospital because they have the chair that can tilt you back. I went, and was upset before even getting in the chair, and the gynae who did it nipped me internally with the speculum - when I screamed and said 'you've nipped me' she denied it, but she did and it bloody hurt! Which made me even worse.

The second one I had 2 years ago I rang the doctors and asked if I could just refer myself and they said for the nurse to try again. I was a lot calmer because she said before she started that if she couldn't get it she'd refer me - she tried, then another tried, and then a GP again and all said they could see it but they couldn't reach it. Went to the colposcopy clinic and went in looking like myself and came out looking like Gene Simmons from KISS this time, the gynae was lovely! She used different sized speculums (in the end she used a one that had been in a warm saline solution which I do felt really helped) and her and the other two nurses (who were holding my hand) were talking to me throughout - they were asking if I wanted the radio turning up, who my favourite singer was etc (I was wailing in the chair by this point!) and the next thing I knew... all over!

I apologised over and over to them all for the sheer state I was in and they were so lovely - they said it's common to associate a bad experience with something and they suggested that next time I'm due one I ring my GP and just ask for a referral straight away.

I totally get where you're coming from - they aren't pleasant experiences when you have a shy cervix, but it might be worth asking for a referral yourself

I don't have a tilted cervix, but require the longest speculum
I tell every examiner beforehand but they seem to take it as a challenge and insist on starting with the shortest
I also have to do the fist under the hips thing! Unfortunately I have abnormal smears so before lockdown and my pregnancies it was quite a regular palavar.

I can't advise what could help with a tilted cervix, I just try and be as relaxed and floppy as I can no matter how much it hurts.

I have a tilted one too, and have to get referred if they cannot find it too.
One tip a particularly lovely nurse gave me, was to wiggle your toes! Sounds absolutely mad, but it has worked for me. Not sure if it is because it just distracts you, or if it does help with staying relaxed down there...

I also have a tilted (retroverted) uterus. The making fists and putting them under my bum works well for me, and I take a couple of paracetamol an hour before as well.

I Hate having smear tests. I too have a tilted cervix the only smear that didn’t hurt was when the Dr held the speculum under a warm tap before hand, I think that and the nurse stroking my hand was great. Usually they felt like assaults and I used to put off going. Listen to some calm music on your head phones. Worst one ever was a top consultant he was all about results and treated me like a piece of meat and his came back inconclusive.

With a tilted womb, there are several ways that can help ie putting hands under buttocks, deep breathing, inserting the speculum at a slightly towards the back and my personal preference laying on your side.

If the doctor does a manual check with their fingers to find my cervix before inserting the speculum, that usually works, as they then know what angle to insert the speculum at (and what sized speculum to choose to he able to reach it!). If they go in blind, speculum first, they never find my cervix. The nurses never seem to have been trained how to do manual checks, so I always go to a female GP who has been trained how to do it. 20-30 minutes of being asked to cough, put hands under my back, change position, have various sizes of speculum inserted increasingly roughly inside me, and having 2 or 3 people carry out the ridiculous torture session, are now a thing of the past.

I've always had a terrible time having smears too. Then I had to have an internal examination at the hospital where there was no problem at all. I mentioned the difference to the doctor at the time, who told me it's because you have to lie down for smears rather than more sitting up pose with feet in stirrups. Next smear I made enquiries about whether it was possible to have my smear somewhere where they have this facility but there wasn't. So I had to have the very unpleasant experience again. Not only awful for me but for the nurse too. Unacceptable that there isn't this facility I think.

Could you request to have your smears done at the Women’s Health Dept at the local hospital? My friend has a tilted uterus and now has it done at the hosp - they have a special chair that makes it a lot easier to see and she never had a problem now and finds it a much easier experience.

Hi - I had a thread a week or two ago about exactly this. I had diazepam before my repeat test on Sunday and thankfully it worked - or at least my body was relaxed enough that it wasn’t immensely painful. I didn’t feel like it had any effect on me tbh but somehow it had.

I think 40mins was too long on your first attempt. My nurse stopped after three short attempts last time and I was in pain the whole week after!

Relax your jaw, open your mouth a bit. Sounds weird but I was told to do this at my first pelvic exam, and I’ve just done a bit of googling at it does seem connected!

I’ve had one on my side, which worked ok. I have a tilted cervix and never seemed to have an issue thank goodness, even having coils put in and out.

Good luck, deep breathing, try and think about the five minutes after the appointment rather than about what’s happening in the room.

I have notes on my notes that the long speculum needed to save faffing about. I also have such a lovely nurse that puts me at ease. OP I hope that your next one isn't as bad and the diazepam works, it is uncomfortable at the best of times but good on you for persevering

Not really any advice to give but just to say you have my full sympathy.
I had an extremely high cervix and smear tests were a nightmare. One doctor once remarked that if it got any higher he would need a mining lamp and a canery!!!! 😂
I say "had" as I no longer possess a cervix thanks to a complete hysterectomy last October due to stage one ovarian cancer.
Can't say I'm going to miss my 3 yearly visits to the nurse!! 😁