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Original poster

Should my DD have this operation??

60 replies

CaptainDippy · 29/09/2007 07:20

My 3.7 year old DD has a squint. It is not very pronounced, but it is definitely 'there', iykwim. It is particularly bad when she is tired and the opthamologist at the hospital says it measures worse than it actually looks. It always shows up in photographs taken of her - that is how I first discovered she had it. The squint is not affecting her eyesight. She is supposed to be going in for an operation to correct it on Thursday morning (4th Oct) and I am having 2nd thoughts ........

Having it corrected would be for purely cosmetic reasons - It is not that DH & I want her to look "perfect" in photographs or anything; just that we are worried she might come home from school when she is older and be upset because she is being bullied for having wonky eyes or that it might become an issue for her when she is older, particularly as a girl (body image etc).

We would rather she had the operation while she is still too young to remember it clearly if that makes any sort of sense!!? We figure it would be much more traumatic putting a 7/8 year old through an operation than a 3.5 yr old.

I'm I a cruel, mean mummy or am I right for her to have the op at the present time??

The operation would be on both of her eyes and would be day surgery. Recovery time could be anything up to a week-ish .....

OP posts:

Trinityrhino · 29/09/2007 07:24

I had quite a bad squint but when I was young there wont so quick to offer cosmetic surgery. I was 11 when I had it done and I had an awful time through school with bullying.
I wouldn't say that you were a mean mummy getting it done when she is 3.7.
The op isn't that bad but if both her eyes are going to be bandaged when she wakes up then please explain this too her as I thought I had gone blind when I woke up.

PrettyCandles · 29/09/2007 07:25

How do you know that the squint is not affecting her eyesight now or in the future?

Trinityrhino · 29/09/2007 07:29

good point pretty

I would say that you need to get her 3D vision checked. 3D vision is learned in the brain by the age of six.
my squint was quite bad and I never learned 3D vision because it wasn't solved by the time I had the chance to learn 3D vision.

I have zero 3D vision which means that I casn't judge distances and is quite hard in general life.

Original poster

CaptainDippy · 29/09/2007 07:33

Thank you TR - Well I guess that if 3D vision is only learned by the age of 6, I can't have it checked now!!? (Am I following you correctly there??) They said that her squint won't ever affect her eyesight ...... ......

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Original poster

CaptainDippy · 29/09/2007 07:34

They've checked her eyesight at the hospital with various tests, PC .....

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Trinityrhino · 29/09/2007 07:40

sorry, confused you there

I mean as the eyes work together they learn 3D vision DURING the firsat 6 years of life so you could check her now and just see if she is learning it.
reslly its checking if her ees are working together because they have to be for her to be learing it

Trinityrhino · 29/09/2007 07:44

did she have to try to put the 'lion in the cage'??

PrettyCandles · 29/09/2007 07:53

It sounds like the hospital must have monitored Dippylet's 3D vision and are satisfied that it is developing properly.

It seems to me that if you do the op now it will be over and done with and forgotten by her very quickly. OTOH if you wait until she's 7+ she will be old enough to understand what's happening and probably find it less frightening if she's well-prepared.

I think you need to decide on clinical reasons, and to me that means operating sooner rather than later in order to give her eyesight the best chance of optimal development.

When my ds1 was 6 I took him for an eyesight test. I had no worries about his eyesight, but he was reading and we have a history of poor eyesight in our family, so it seemed to me to make sense to check. I was glad to have done this, because it turned out that he has a slight defect in his vision that, while it isn't causing him asbny difficulty right now, would make it harder to coerrect hois vision if it deteriorated in the future. Early treatment (glasses) has corrdceted it. Had we waited until he started showing signs of vision problems it might have been too late to correct it fully.

Sorry for typiong goinh dollaly - babby cli,mbde upf for a feed.

Original poster

CaptainDippy · 29/09/2007 08:25

LOL @ typing!

Thank you so much - this has definitely assured me that I think I have made the right decision - Should have posted this thread when I was up at 12am, worrying about it!

No TR, I don't think they have checked her 3D vision - no "Lions in Cages", just pictures of things, big & small, which she had to identify close up and far away and a little man on the end of a stick, which she had to follow with her eyes ......

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Blandmum · 29/09/2007 08:55

It horrid to think about any child, of any age having surgery. In some respects I wouldhave thought that it would be better to get this corrected sooner rather than later, if for no other reason that it will prevent the chance of bullying in school. I realise that bullying shouldn't exist etc, but if there is somethings that could be done. I feel it is better to do it than leave it.

I know of a child who's parents chose not to have it done, and she's had a rather grim time at school

And small children do 'bounce back' so quickly after illnesses etc

Original poster

CaptainDippy · 29/09/2007 09:28

Thank you!

The amount of bullying that goes on is dreadful I had quite bad eczema at school and I just remember the awful stigma of it. I wish I didn't have to worry about this, but I just don't want her to be teased ....... Really hoping none of the others have it .....

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Blandmum · 29/09/2007 09:32

The thing is, the bullying shouldn't go on. And a little bit of me feels 'Why should children have to make themselves the same as everytone else to avoid it'. But at the same time if something could be done to make their lives easier.....

FWIW I would make the same decision that you have.

tissy · 29/09/2007 09:36

my dd had her squints corrected at the age of two, and still at the age of 5 has no sign of any 3D vision....

Original poster

CaptainDippy · 29/09/2007 09:37

I agree MB, I love her just the way she is. She is a beautiful vibrant little bundle of yumminess and has absolutely gorgeous huge blue eyes, albeit a little wonky! Sadly it is the wonkiness that might make her susceptible to taunts and bullying in a couple of years. ...and her eyes are her most striking feature cos they are so big and gorgeous .......

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Original poster

CaptainDippy · 29/09/2007 09:37

Oh tissy ... do they know why that might be?

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edam · 29/09/2007 09:40

I'd have it done on 'better to get it over with' grounds. I have a squint although it is corrected by glasses or contacts (am short-sighted) so no-one knows unless I tell them. I was borderline for surgery when I was little - was down for an op but we moved house and new doctor preferred not to operate unless absolutely necessary.

It's fine but I can't look through binoculars (must be to do with this 3D thingy). And I'm not great at judging distances. I'd rather have had it sorted, tbh.

tissy · 29/09/2007 09:46

not sure, really....apparently when the brain receives two images, it surpresses one of them, so you don't see double. The point of the surgery was to make sure that the images are received by the brain simultaneously, but it doesn't look as if that part of it has worked.

Cosmetically she is better, she does squint when looking at things close up, and individually the vision in each eye is perfect (better than mine1) she just doesn't seem to be able to merge images and produce a 3D picture.

She has a test at the hospital where you have to look at a sheet of perspex with a pattern printed on it, and find a ball in the picture. She did it once last time, and I was delighted, but then the subsequent 3 times failed the test, so I think it was a lucky guess. She is nearly six, so not much chance of any improvement

TheMadHouse · 29/09/2007 09:53

My DH had a prononced squint as a child and was operated on at 4. From what he tells me and he does remeber, it was a very scary time. He woke up with both eyes covered and throught that he was blind, but once he got past the two weeks recovery with a patch on one ye, it has been great.

He is 41 is a months time and only one opitician has ever been able to tell from examination that he had one - so it was very sucessful.

On the other hand my cousin also has one and did not have the operation. She was bullied mercylessly in school and wishes she had been done. She refuses to have photos taken and did not even allow photos at her wedding, which was very sad indeed.

Original poster

CaptainDippy · 29/09/2007 10:41

Thank you edam and TheMadHouse - Yes, I am prepared for DD to be quite scared etc, but DH & I will be with her at the hospital and when she comes round etc (other 2 being looked after) I am sure she will bounce back in no time, bless her!

Really sad about your cousin TMH No Wedding photos

Oh tissy, bless you poor DD, but like edam has already said - her lack of 3D vision has affected her greatly so I am sure your DD will manage just fine.

I do like it when these thread give others a chance to talk about stuff and get reassurance / advice too

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RosyBelle · 30/09/2007 22:12

My DD is 4yrs and having the surgery on 1 eye on the 8th Oct - so just a few days after yours CD?

She woke up one day last summer with it - just overnight . She is long sighted and wears glasses which originally corrected the squint. Thn slowly as the brain got used to the glasses the squint came back. When I asked if they would wait until she was 7/8 to do the op they said NO as it would hold her back at school.
She has no 3d vision without the prism on her glasses but full 3d vision with the prism on (the prism is a clear sticker that goes on the glass of her good eye - it tricks the brain into thinking it can correct the eye). This is good as hopefully it means she will have full 3d once surgery is complete.

We have had a chat with the surgeon and there is no reason why she will wake up with the eyes covered. She may have a bloodshot eye but that is all - hopefully yours will be the same.

I know what you mean - I just love her the way she is - but children are not sensitive when it comes to talking about things like this - even some her very young friends have asked DD about her glasses & sticker but I wouldn't call that bullying... but I guess it would come.

Stay in touch - hopefully you can reassure me as you are before us... good luck

Rosy
xx

Original poster

CaptainDippy · 01/10/2007 10:52

Hi Rosy! Lovely to meet someone going through a similar thing - phew! Yes, I was told DD's eyes (she's having both of them done at same time) would just be a little ouchy and bloodshot, but that they wouldn't be covered, so that was a relief!!

Her op is on Thursday (4th) at 10.30am - soooo nervous. Have you explained everything to your LO?? - We've tried to explain everything to DD1, but she seems to think we are joking, bless her - She says "No!" and smiles at us. She often asks when we are going to hospital again as we've had loads of appts lately to look at her vision etc; so she is pretty used to that bit of it.

When was your DD 4? My DD will be 4 in Feb.

I told my DD that I have "met" another little girl with "poorly eyes" who is also having an operation soon and she wants to draw a picture for her - Awwwwwwwwww! Do you think that would be ok??

Email me - captain_dippy "at" yahoo "dot" co "dot" uk

Nice to know we can go through this together - have put your DD's op in my diary!

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cmotdibbler · 01/10/2007 11:21

I've had both eyes done as they couldn't correct it enough the first time, and still have prisms in my lenses now to give one image. I have very poor 3D vision, and was a complete failure at PE when at school as tracking balls is really difficult.
My eyes were itchy and sore for a couple of weeks afterwards, and it can really hurt to move your eyes for a couple of days.
You are def doing the right thing to get it sorted now. I thought DS was starting to squint, but opthamologists say not - they wanted to finish fixing mine though - apparently more interesting !

Original poster

CaptainDippy · 01/10/2007 11:31

Thank you, esp for the info on itchy, sore eyes & hurting to move!

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katepol · 01/10/2007 11:50

Hoya
I had this op twice - when I was about 5 and then again at 11. Good news is that although it was a little sore for a couple of days, I have no memeories of it being a horrible time, In fact I had a lovely time in hospital, and don't remeber feeling scared or in lots of pain. A warning that I wouldn't be able to see as soon as they took the dressings off would have been helpful though, and my eye did sting but it was short lived.
Bad side is that although cosmetically, my squint is barely noticeable (only when I am tired and looking at something close), my 3d vision is rubbish. I can't use binoculars, do those magic picture things etc. I can throw and catch etc, but it is down to instinct more than being able to judge accurately. I think it was becuae it was done too late.

To conclude (lol), I would go for the op, as if it sorts your lo's vision early, then any discomfort etc will be well worth it.

hth

Original poster

CaptainDippy · 01/10/2007 12:01

Thank you - and I will definitely bear all this 3D vision stuff in my mind - It does make me wonder - I get v.blurry eyes if I am doing something any period of time (computer, reading etc.....) adn I can't do those "magic eye" puzzles for love nor money ..... .....!!?

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