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Moral dilemma - travelling to see a sick relative while unwell myself

4 replies

Requinblanc · 16/07/2020 16:40

Dear All,

I am a big dilemma as to whether I should travel to France to see an elderly parent who is having some health issues. This would involve taking two planes each way (she lives on the island of Corsica) and unfortunately I am unwell myself, with long standing health issues but also because I am still recovering from the added 'bonus' of having had Covid 19 in March which left me with ongoing breathing problems, tiredness and vertigo.

My remaining parent went into hospital after her sister and my cousins who lives close to her started worrying that her mental health had declined.

She is a very difficult woman with existing emotional and mental health issues and we do not have a good relationship as her behaviour and neglect when I was a kid drove me away and we have been estranged for long periods. My other family members had also been getting increasingly fed up with her demanding ways and unpleasantness.

It seems that with age and the death if my father three years ago she has got more temperamental and irrational to the point where relatives are concerned about her behaviour, hence the hospital stay.

My options is to let the relatives who live close by take the lead and liaise with them and the hospital from the UK or to take the risk of travelling and affecting/worsening my own health.

If I am very honest I dread taking the risk of another bout of Covid-19 and I barely manage to walk around my local street as it is and taking care of myself. Not to mention the fact that it will be difficult to arrange time off work and current responsibilities in the UK and I dread getting stuck in Corsica should another lockdown happen or if I had to quarantine.

This is a case of the worse possible timing. Do you think I am unreasonable to try to handle matters from a distance? what would others do?

Apologies for the long post...

OP posts:
sleepyhead · 16/07/2020 16:42

What additional good do you think you'll do for your parent and in-situ relatives by going? Have the relatives asked you to go?

AHintOfStyle · 16/07/2020 16:42

Putting the emotional aspects of this to one side, you'd be unlikely to get travel insurance to cover you for any existing conditions as it could end up a very costly trip.

AriettyHomily · 16/07/2020 16:47

It doesn't sound like you're well enough to travel at all.

Requinblanc · 16/07/2020 17:27

Thank you for taking the time to reply!

No, my relatives have not asked me to travel as they know it would be tricky.

I had not thought about the insurance side of things should I get sick and it is also a very good point. I have an EU passport as well as my British one so maybe I assume I could still get free healthcare there but insurance might be a problem.

I also should have added that I have a hospital appointment on Monday so there might be the added difficulty of having to restart tests and treatment here...not looking good for a trip I think.

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