I feel totally broken right now... I can’t even write this post I’ve hit rock bottom. Every day something is wrong with me, every time someone asks me out I now cancel through fear of being in pain or my body pissing it up, this in turn has led to panic attacks and anxiety. I feel so low.
I HATE telling people about this so this is a first for me, I don’t want to put this pressure on my husband even though he knows I’m not right I don’t want to be THAT person who is always complaining or come across a hypochondriac.
My eyes hurt to even write this, I ran 2km today and threw up and had a headache for the rest of the day, my bladder is constantly hurting day and night and has been for 2 long years (that’s my big one), I have pains all over my body constantly, heart palpitations ALL the time, excess bile in my stomach so I get constant burning. I’m constantly tired and drained.
I’m scared to meet people now so I just turn things down, I’m crying writing this as I’ve honestly had enough.
I have 2 congenital heart conditions, a fourth nerve palsy in my eye, constantly being treated for HPV flares in my cervix and as for my bladder... oh my god! I don’t even know where to go with that one but it’s ruined my life.
Blood tests etc all come back normal. I’m crap on drugs. Last year I had a tumour removed from my bladder. I’m just in and out of hospital all the fucking time.
I just need a hand hold... I’m feeling so down right now. I know there are people who have it worse and I tell myself that every time I get down but right now I can’t pick myself up and I just want to curl up in a ball.