How to communicate with GP on 17yos behalf

[AngieBolen]

17yo DS needs a medical procedure.I phoned the GP who then phoned DS to discuss it. The GP told DS he would need a blood test first, so I took DS to the hospital and was told to ring the GP in a few days. The thing is DS is "too busy" to phone the GP. When he does phone he's point on hold and gets fed up. He's working at his part time job (which seems to be a full time job atm because they're so busy) so that's his excuse.

The GP receptionist won't talk to me. She just says she can't give me the results of the blood test because he's over 16. I don't want the results of the blood test; they would be meaningless to me, I just want to know what's supposed to happen next.
Does the doctor now refer DS anyway or does DS need to have another telephone conversation with the GP?
As you can tell I very rarely have dealings with the GP.

DS does want the procedure, but still needs a bit of parenting. Would getting DS to write a letter be the way forward? DH has offered to grunt down the phone like a teenager, pretending to be DS but I think that would be illegal.

Get your son to sign a note giving you permission to discuss his medical notes and drop it round the surgery. Alternatively leave him to do it when he can be arsed. Which will be never so I suggest the first option

I always found health matters very difficult once DC were 15 or so. Mostly I would go along if asked and sit in without comment. Once or twice I deemed it too important for them to go alone and insisted. It must be even harder now that doctors refuse face to face appointments because you can't accompany them on a phone. They are of course perfectly able to see doctors on their own and entitled to privacy. However they are often not experienced or assertive enough to chase things.
FWIW I think it's always worth having someone with you at a medical appointment if it's serious enough to warrant hospital.

I have unfortunately had a lot of health problems and have learned that things often get missed, results don't get passed on and people often don't do what they say they will do. So I chase everything up.

Does your surgery have an online consultation form? I find them brilliant. Many surgeries have started using these in the last year and even more in the last few weeks. Much more appealing for a 17 year old to use and you can hover over him while he does it.
If the receptionist won't help then ask for an appointment for your son, even if it's a phone one. Make sure he has a list of questions to ask in front of him and do your best to listen in.

Get ds to write a letter stating he gives permission for you to have access /act on his behalf. But also try to encourage ds to access the care he needs independently as you can't always be there for him.
My ds is 16 has multiple medical issues and high functioning asd. From being 14 his consultants got him involved in his care. This is an important life skill. However he struggles with this also the organisation of medical appointments, tests, arranging delivery of medication and equipment and talking to professionals.
We found him giving permission means the things he can't manage I can do and overtime we'll slowly build up to him doing everything. Having a letter in place has helped us with this.

Can you call Dr's when DS is in the house and do all the sitting on hold bit and then give him the phone when necessary, or is he not in the house when the Dr's is open?

I personally think this is an unacceptable level of handholding for a 17yr old, tbh. It is his health and he should be dealing with it. If you continue to do it for him, then he'll continue to abdicate responsibility into adulthood, and before you know it his girlfriend will be on here posting about her DP with health issues he refuses to get seen to unless she does it for him, and we'll all be calling him a manchild and saying LTB.

I think you have two options:

1 - nag him incessantly to do it himself
2 - tell him, once, that he is an adult and that his health is his responsibility, that you're not going to do it for him and that he needs to get it done himself if he wants it to happen. Then leave him to it.

If it's vital, I'd say go for option 1, if it's not an essential procedure, go for option 2. Definitely don't get him to sign medical responsibility over to you, that's vastly inappropriate now that he's past the age of consent and is presumably NT.

Totally understand where you're coming from OP (my DD has just got herself admitted to hospital for emergency surgery and I can't be there for her, can't hear the advice they'll give her), but if he wants the medical procedure that much himself it's up to him to sort.

Having said that, as said before they may accept a letter from him or you phone when he's around and hand over to him.