Anyone out there who can distract an emetaphobe for a few mins???

[artichokes]

It might only be a few seconds actually - I am so paniced that I might have to log off and get out of here in a moment.

DH and I just ate dinner. A very big dinner. Within 15mins he said he suddenly felt "very weird". He said he was going to the loo, and knowing my fear, he told me to turn the TV up loud and shut the doors. That was 20 mins ago and I have the telly on full vol and am sitting here shaking and rigid with fear. I feel very sick too but think it is panic - but it might not be. I am trapped in the living room and have no access to a bathroom.

DH has never been sick since we met. I want to run out of the house but can't (a) because someone has to care for DD if she wakes up; (b) because something might be really worng with DH; (c) I have nowhere to go; (d) I will not let this stupid phobia make me act like a mad woman yet again.

I know there are lots of emetophobes on these boards. Does anyone have any advice about how to get through the next few mins/hours?

((Hugs)) artichokes. I know how you feel and I lack useful advice because I am useless in these situations. Califrau swears by mints, though, and I have found that they help slightly both with the nauseous feelings brought on by thinking about The Great Unmentionable and with any residual smells etc.

I'm not going to be around for long, because I'm just back from a conference today (though was only away for 3 days) and am knackered. Thinking of you though.

Artichokes, I'd be feeling exactly the same. I didn't go into work on Friday for fear of being sick. to be honest I was actually feeling very unwell but I probably could have got into work.

It's controlled my life since I was about 6 with a couple of mysterious remissions of a few years when it seemed to recede hugely. I've been in a very bad phase with it since dd started school and the reality of bugs hit us.

But hey, you don't know if your dh was unwell because he ate too much? Maybe a crazy indigestion? It's unusual for a bug to come on so suddenly, I'd have thought he'd be off his food before the meal? Did he say how he was feeling after having been sick? Did he think that was it? ALSO you've been away so you may well have avoided too much close contact with the bug itself and you can now be totally OTT with hygiene.

Thanks for the reassurance IF. It felt fine before dinner, ate a big trout and salad, had seconds (and thirds). Two mins later he ran off. Now he feels fine. I have no idea what to make off it. He may have eaten too much but he always eats loads and is never sick. I ate the same thing. I am horrified because I ate loads too.

I am already sucking mints and rubbing anti-bac gel into my hands. The prob is I will have to use the bathroom soon and I cannot bear to go in there.

"He ate" not "it ate". My DH is not an "it" despite how I feel about him right now!

Artichokes, poor you I know how you feel.

Other calming things to try are peppermint tea or spearmint & chamomile if you have any.

Also I find that I feel worse about this last thing at night; if you can get some sleep things will hopefully seem easier to cope with in the morning.

artichokes... I'm sure you did not let your dd down. No one person can provide everything that their child needs all the time. You are there for your dd in all sorts of ways. There are some things you can't do for her. But that's the way it is. When she's older, and out of nappies, you'll be able to take her to the loo with you; your dh won't be able to take her to the gents with him. Your dh might be able to ... ooh, I dunno (am desperately trying to avoid gender stereotyping, but can't, so bear with me...) teach her about the offside rule or the workings of the internal combustion engine, whilst you might teach her to knit [non-sexist ironic emoticon, so you know I am tongue in cheek]. He deals with You-Know-What. You don't. You won't abandon her. You won't leave her on her own if she is ill and no-one else is around. You may shake and cry a bit (I know I do) but it won't destroy your relationship wit your dd. Really, it won't. She won't stop loving you because of it, I promise you. I know it's awful (I hate the fact that I can't comfort my dds if they've been sick), but there are other things that you can do (I was fine when my dd cut her lip open and there was blood everywhere and it had to be stitched under GA, for example), and really really there are far worse things you can do than cowering in the attic (my retreat of choice!) if your dd is unwell. ((More hugs)) Hope you manage to get some sleep tonight.

Ellbell is right

Oh, and as for your dh... he's a big boy and can look after himself. I feel no compunction about leaving adults who are unwell to look after themselves. [Heartless bitch emoticon]

Thanks Tatties! Will you come and quote that post at me the next time it happens to me?

Yes

Thanks Ellbell. I did let her down though . She was in my arms as she started to do you know what. I screamed and dumped her on the ground (DH was there to pick her up). Because DD is very attached to me she was hysterical that I had left her when she was scared anyway. She screamed and screamed while being ill but I could not touch her 'til DH had dumped her in the bath to clean her up. It was terrible because she was reaching ou to be as I shook in the doorway. I cannot wait 'til she is older and can understand that Mummy loves her and will do all the things you describe BUT daddy will help if her tummy is bad.

Until then I must find a way to face this incase the same thing happens again.

OK. I really am off to bed now. I have slept 3 hours in the last 36 so hopefully tiredness will override the fear.

Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Oh love

Try not to dwell on it tonight, think positive thoughts. I really hope you have a good night.

I have done exactly the same thing. (In fact, as I remember it I threw dd across the room at dh, but it was 6 years ago now and I may have exaggerated the throwing slightly.) And I am not trying to say that you should laugh it off and that it won't matter... it makes me feel awful to think of it. But she really won't remember it and she won't have been harmed by it. She will not hold it against you and it doesn't make any less 'good' as a mum. I really hope your dh is OK now and that it's nothing that can be passed on to you and dd. Have some more ((((hugs))) just for good measure. (If you are not the 'hugging sort' please translate into supportive gestures and non-nauseous vibes!) Oh, and try not to be too hard on yourself.

Hope you're ok today artichokes

I too have thought about you, hope all is ok!

Thanks for asking after me - its so nice of you to think of me. The night went OK and DH is fine. His illness lasted an entire 10 mins from starting to feel funny to being fine. V odd. I actually managed to sleep last night and although I have had a few minutes of panic today I am doing so much better than I normally do - but then it was all very short lived and I saw and heard nothing.

Still very worried about going away tomorrow in case it was a bug. DH insists that we have to go and I guess if I am trying to beat this thing then we must. Please, please, please let DD and I be OK...

Well, if it was something, then it is very mild, so try not to worry, easy for me to say and I know I would worry to......

Have a lovely holiday and please try to relax! I am rather as I have to go to work tomorrow!

artichokes, I'd be worrying too.

BUT from my outsider's perspective I think it's so unlikely to be a bug given how fast it came on and was over. I think it was probably a rejection of over-eating. It may not have happened before but I remember this happening to me in my teens just once. I ate a huge meal and my stomach just couldn't / didn't want to take it. I wasn't sick (because of the emetophobe ability to 'hold it in') but I was retching. Horrible. Don't even like to write it down now. It never happened again.

Don't cancel tomorrow. And if you do become unwell you can always come home again.

I know that nightmare feeling of being ill away from home. I usually starve myself almost all the time I'm not at home. Today I was out with dd, her friend and friend's mum who I know and love so well. I still couldn't eat. I'm so fed up with myself sometimes.