I am really scared of the dentist what do I do?

[auntypurple]

I know this is really stupid, but I am so scared of the dentist I haven't been since I was 12/13 and I am 28 now. I had a brace when I was 11/12 and the dentists were so horrible I haven't been back. I know I need a lot of work doing, my teeth are in a bad way, bits breaking off ect. I don't even have a dentist now, and I am too scared to go to one, because of the pain. I hate anything to do with teeth, can't even watch stuff with teeth in on tv. I really want my teeth sorting out, what can I do. The only way I will go is if they would knock me out and they don't do that anymore do they? Sorry for rambling.

maybe you could afford to go private and into a demntal clinic that has the fascilities to give anaesthetics.
Or, I believe, some dentists offer hypnotherapy, that is meant to be good!
I know where you are coming from....I used to be quite brave.....but have lost my bravery some years ago, and have not been to the dentist in 9 years I have just a few days ago a dental surgery that had advertising in the window that they take NHS patients and will registre myself and the Kids with them...but I am dreading it so so much

Are you able to choose a dentist (ie would you be a private patient)?

If you have a choice, you could be in a position to 'interview' a prospective dentist, to see how you feel about them. I think one of the important aspects of finding a new dentist is for the dentist to talk to you for a while before you even open your mouth. I'm fairly sure there is good research to support this.

One of the worst aspects of getting a new dentist is making the appointment and meeting them for the first time. If you can make this as stress-free as possible, then you can probably handle everything that is to come. Once you have talked over your fears, prior experience, and hopes and expectations, a good dentist will do a thorough assessment and come up with a long-term treatment plan, with full details of costs and timings. Knowing what is happening is very comforting, rather than trying to second-guess what the dentist is thinking and how they might be judging you.

3andnomore, I have my kids registered with a dentist, there 1st check up was 6mths ago there next is next week. When I registered them, they asked if I wanted to register myself aswell, I couldn't even do that No way can I afford to go private, wish I could. Writing this makes me feel sick. Good luck with registering yourself.

scienceteacher no I would be nhs. I may call the nhs dental helpline in the morning and see what they say, if I can bring myself to call them

thanks aunty...and it's a pain not to really have a choice...but well, how do you feel about your Kids dentist? Do you think they are doing a good JOb....that is worth somehting, iykwim....that is the part that freaks me out the most...., I would prefer more choice and would love to be in a position where I can asked about their experiences, etc... ( I have a cleft lip and palate....and find it hard to trust dentists anywya, I suppose...because my child hood dentist had drilled into me, how important it is to have a dentist that knows about these things....etc...)

I am registered with a NHS dentist - they can refer you to a dentist that uses intravenous sedatives for treatment or prescribe you a valium to take an hour before you go - I've done both - and both were great!

GO - it isn't as bad as you remember - and I'm a BIG baby!

Aunty, could hubby or a friend make the appointment for you? You've already said that you want to get this sorted out, so it's not really a case of not being motivated to going - but making the appointment can be the biggest hurdle. If someone can do it for you, would you stick to the appointment?

The main thing is to be totally frank with the dentist about your fears and hopes. Write them down if it helps. I'm sure that all dentists are sensitive to your situation - it must be really hard on them to know that they are dreaded when all they are doing is trying to do their best for their patients. They will be well aware of the issues you have, and also of where you wnat to be.

Nowadays, if there is anything you feel uncomfortable with, you can always come to Mumsnet and other places on the internet for a 'second opinion'. Your teeth won't be pulled without your full informed consent.

Aunty - i too was like you absolutely terrified of the dentist and never went for years. Eventually I had to go and I managed to find a dentist who does knock you out for treatment if you request it. For the first couple of times I did this - just a small injection in the back of the hand and was barely aware that anything was being done. I am now very confident with this dentist and no longer need the injection. I dont know if all dentists do this but maybe you could ask around to see if there are any in your area that do. Good luck

purple i sympathise with u completely, like u i was terrified and was in desperate need of treatment, after 6 years i finally went, was a very big step coz i couldnt even drive past a dentist surgery without having a panic attack, but i was fine, the dentist was sooo lovely, i had root fillings normal fillings zoom whitening the works and i now have beautiful teeth (if i do say so myself ) and wish i had gone earlier, im not joking i promise u it was a piece of cake, if u need any more advice just let me know and i will give u my email address. xx

I did that, i went to the docs and he gave me Valium to take before an appt.

It works cackle

how does the valium work? does it relax you so you dont care or just take the edge off the anxiety? had wondered about this for me!

i didn't go to the dentist for about 13 years after having lots of treatment (braces etc)during my childhood/teens...i was terrified. I only went because an old school friend of dp's returned to a practice in the area.......i've had to go private (no NHS places locally) so decided to go with someone i knew.
I was so nervous, i was sat in the waiting room doing breathing exercises to stop myself being sick/fainting.....but he was very gentle with me, and dentistry has changed so much.
I'm still nervous, i haven't been for a year but have just booked an appt to go for a check up.
A good dentist will ease you into it, mine said i could just sit in a normal chair while he had a quick look at my teeth as the chair is a big factor for lots of people, and he's also trained in hynpotherapy to help very nervous patients.
Take your time, remember YOU are in charge of what you let them do and you will eventually find it easier to go.

This link will take you to a search area for the British Dental Association for dentists in your area. You can specify things, such as those who specialise in phobic patients. Such a dentist will let you visit them as many times as is necessary before doing any treatment, allowing you to accustom yourself and will take things at your pace. They will assess what needs doing and will discuss the best way forward with you. They can give you sedation beforehand and make sure you have adequate pain relief. Some also use hypnotherapy to help with your anxiety.

You have made the biggest step by admitting that you need and want to get things sorted and I am sure that you will find your new experience to be far removed from what you remember.

My very good dentist took the trouble to explain one of the reasons why many people develop a fear of dentists.

The local anaesthetic contains adrenalin. Helps keep the stuff local or summat. You know what adrenalin does... yup, its the flight-or-fight hormone. Makes your heart start pumping and gives physically scared feeling! I observed this effect quite calmly - I'm not scared of dentists but it does actually make you feel that way.

So if you have an injection and feel like either thumping your dentist or running away...deep breath and relax, its just a funny ole bit of biochemistry.

Hi everyone,
Thanks for all your replys, it helps knowing I am not the only one scared of the dentist. I emailed a dentist website and can't remember which one and they have given me a number to call. It said some places they can refer you to a hospital to be sedated, or a nhs dentist can refer to a private one where you only have to pay for sedation. So I will give them a call soon. Can copy and paste the email here if anyone else wants a read.
Thanks again for the replys

Olivo, it just took the edge off the anxiety for me.

I have serious issues with needles and dentists, and i had a nasty panic attack the one day.. and rather than helping me deal with it, my dentist told me to stop being silly and grow up.

After that, i just couldn't go back, i changed dentists within the same surgery and my phobia got so bad i needed something to help deal with it.

It was quite a low dose of Valium, but it kept me out of that cycle of fear long enough to be able to help keep myself calmer.