Once again, its midnight, and I'm up, pacing the floor and trying to find a way to cope with my kidney pain. I've had to have 3 injections of Diamorphine today to try and control the pain I get from Kidney stones, which started when I was 8 weeks pregnant with Rachel, who is now more than 10 months old. The stones were caused by hormonal changes affecting my kidney, changing the way in which my left kidney processed waste, making it produce stones which are still bothering me. I had the same with Aidan, now over 2 1/2, and Rachel was due to a mirena coil failure (it fell out) and I have been suffering ever since. I'm in pretty much constant pain which only strong painkillers seem to help (I'm on my 2nd GP -a partner in the last practice refused to prescribe painkillers as he thought I was an addict - I've spent months trying NOT to be addicted to painkillers and I'm not - a bit dependent, perhaps, after taking them for over a year and a half, but not a drug addict!!).
I've gpt PND, hardly surprising really - and its under control. The last time it took 11 months for the stones to go away and I'm hoping its going to happen this time,, but I'm just not sure - how will I know when it's over.
My whole life is ruled by pain - when is it going to start again? (it hits like a sledgehammer, and has knocked me unconscious, it makes me vomit most times) . I can't go ahead and learn to drive as I am unsafe - you can't drive if you could pass out without warning - and I don't feel safe looking after 3 small children (all under school age) when I can be so unsafe.
There's nothing they can do for the stones except let them pass - they have to come out. There's no treatment, they're too small to be 'blasted', they have to come out on their own and it is acknowledged that renal colic (passing a stone) is one of the worst pains there is.
There's nothing you can do - I suppose I'm just looking for a bit of sympathy. I've put up with this for 18 months now. I just hope it is over before I go mad!!