Never in my life have I ever felt I am struggling mentally. I've had highs and lows. Tiny bits of stress here and there. Always felt fine
My first child got several stomach bugs between the age of 1-2. It made me anxious. It was the fear of it happening in public or at a friend's house. Sounds silly but I couldn't relax with her. She then developed travel sickness. We've got that under control now shes 5. Her starting school and getting through her first winter with no sick bugs has massively helped me recover from this period of worry.
Life was picking up. After the birth of my second child 2.5 years ago. I've suffered with my back and neck. Just sore, stiff muscles. Nothing major. Never mentioned it to the Dr as appointments are impossible. I've managed that with acupressure and pain relief occasionally.
I've been anemic for years on and off. This year's been horrible and I've spent the last few months communicating with the drs about my symptoms. Now I've beaten the anemia symptoms I'm suffering from nausea etc. It's the iron tablets causing it. The Dr bunged me lansoprazole last week. I stopped taking my iron for two days (not advised by the Dr) the nausea has gone.
The last two evenings I've felt like I'm crying but I'm not. I just feel the need to cry in my face. Emotionally I feel fairly ok. But I think lockdown is starting to upset me. It's 24/7 with two children. I've had side effects for months from different things. I don't have a life anymore away from home. Like many! I feel abit sad looking forward. I just feel ready for bed at teatime but I have a sinking feeling. I've been craving silence. My partner took the kids for a walk. I'm currently laid in bed. The house is silent. But I feel gloomy. I have taken paracetamol because my backs sore this evening. Not sure why it's sore today.
I'm just thinking about how I've been feeling not quite right now for two years. I have coped fine for chunks of it. But I'm scared I won't get passed this lockdown. I don't think i know how to be me now. I'm scared I'll feel poorly for the rest of my life. I'll never have energy. I'll never get through a week without needing a rest, painkillers or something for nausea.
I'm worried about my mind but I can't ask the drs. They are useless and just bung iron tablets at me. They don't ever offer me more when I say how hard it's making my life. I sometimes feel I won't live to a good age because my body is failing at 30.
What I would give to have energy and not feel off.