Can't stop crying...I'm definitely the worst mother ever

[emkana]

Today we wanted to go swimming, dh, dd1, dd2 and me. When we got to the leisure centre the pool wasn't open yet, so I went to the machine to get a cup of tea. I didn't notice dd2 (14 months), and before I knew it was happening she pulled out the hot tea and poured it all over herself, her chest, her neck and chin.
She is all blistered and red and in pain. We took her to A&E who have bandaged her up and gave her morphine for the pain.
Now dd2 is smiling again, but I'm devastated, hating myself with a passion for not being more careful, crying my eyes out, so worried that she'll be scarred forever... in hospital they said she'd be okay, but I'm still so worried and upset, and I keep thinking "If only..."

emkana my ds pulled a bowl of hot tea onto himself when he was 9 mo - he wasn't crawling, just reaching and i thought it was out of his reach!

The skin healed and he's fine now, no scar at all. I'm sure your DD will be the same.

Of course you beat yoruself up about it, we all do. I learned from this never to let a hot drink be anywhere near any of mine. Don't cry, your DD is fine.

Just an update - dd2's bandages were changed today, and that was the first time that I could see what her chest looks like - red and raw, unfortunately But the doctor said it was healing as it should, and that there wouldn't be any scars.
Also wanted to say thank you for all your kind messages again, they really meant a lot to me.

emkana, my ds1 had hot boiling tomato sauce poured on hjm at 18mths (hotel's fault), 2nd degree burns down his shoulder, wrist, ribcage and thighs. awful awful awful awful. and it looked terrible - as you say, red raw... can't bear to remember. anyway it healed really very quickly and he hasn't got a single mark on him now. I was told at the time that 2nd degree burns from water-based burns rarely scar at that age as they are so great at regenerating their cells, it is the burns from hot oils, metal, etc that cause 3rd degree burns that scar.
I'm sure she will be fine. DS can't remember a single thing about it btw (he is 4 now).Hugs.

emkana how awful
Hope you're all feeling better soon. As everyone else has said, it happens to all of us!!

PPH [sad, that was awful!!!!

Oh you poor, poor thing - I bet you are far more upset than your dd. They are just so damn fast. When ds1 was about the same age I put a tray with two cups of black coffee down in front of him (he was in a high chair) in a cafe. He grabbed at them and tipped one over. All hell let loose - I panicked and grabbed him, ran into the cafe kitchen and practically threw him in their sink, he was screaming - it was horrible. When I calmed down and actually checked my poor soggy wet boy over, he was fine - not a mark on him - somehow he had managed to avoid getting any coffee on him. My point is: there but for the grace of God...we have all done it and it is absolutely not your fault. Accidents just happen.

You will feel completely cr*p for a while but when you see that she is fine you will start to feel better.

We've all been there, accidents happen. (((Hugs))) to you and dd

Don't know how I missed the start of this thread but you poor things Emkana, and thank goodness she is healing so well. They are so stoical, aren't they.
Pph, that must have been horrendous too. I would have been so angry with the member of staff I'm not sure I'd have controlled myself. What did they have to say for themselves?
These things happen in the twinkling of an eye Emkana. Hope you are starting to feel less like the worst mum ever, as others have said, that is not you. I expect it was your severe shock talking as much as anything else.

please, please don't beat yourself up sweet pea. I know when things happen to your babies you feel bad but accidents do happen, you can't be there for all of them every minute of every day.

Someone I know had the same thing happen. She had just made a cup of tea when her little boy piulled it off the kitchen work top and they had to rush him into hopital. He was there for about 3 days! But he's fine.

These things unfortunta;ly do happen darling, it REALLY isn't your fault.

Lots of love to you and your little soldier, TC xx

HI Emkana, I just log in today to see how your DD is doing. Hope that by now, things are looking better.

Ch.

emkana, please don't think you're a bad mother. I know you can't stop yourself feeling bad/guilty/sad but you have to believe it was an unfortunate accident. whenever something like this happens (and every mother/parent without fail has some dark tale to tell), in a way, I feel glad it was me, because if it had been daddy/aunty/nanny I'd have this horrible underlying feeling they did something wrong/didn't look after my baby well enough. At least I don't have the additional burden of feeling cross with them as well as the upset of an injured child. Maybe I'm just wierd tho?

She'll be ok, and you will be too.

I know exactly what you mean, monkey, about being glad in a way that it was me. You know, I was thinking it was so great how dh reacted - at no point did he in any way blame me or accuse me of anything - not sure if I would have been the same if it had been the other way round!

Chandra, thanks for asking. Dd's bandages for changed again yesterday and everything seems to be healing nicely, the crusts are falling off gradually and there's pink skin now mainly.

so hopefully no scars.

ahhh poor you and baby.

i know how you feel, when my dd start walking i got stair gates in. i thought it had locked it and went downstairs (flat on two levels) i heard dd talking to me and i thought she sounds close but i was in one of those mad cleaning modes i carried on... next minute massive rumble and bang. she had fallen down the stairs, i ran out and saw her lying on the ground, she was quiet for a split second (shock i think) and the start crying hysterically. I was almost sick with fear i picked her up abd ran to my doctor surgery, i was a wreck and the doc and receptionist were trying to calm me down. my dd was checked over and doc said she was fine and for me not to worry but take it as a lesson. for dsys after i kept picturing her falling, her head smashing open, blood.... ahh it really was dreadful, i could not stop thinking that i could have killed and damaged her. mothers guilt, we feel guilty when we are doing our best and really guilty when things go wrong. these things happen, it was an accident and now im sure it will never happen again.

i am sorry you had to experience this, over the next few days it will ease.

take care x

Update:
Dd2's bandages are off now, and her skin is totally smooth and lovely again now, just pink still where it was burnt, but I should think and I hope that this will fade! Am very relieved!

Good news, glad everything is ok.