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Original poster

Teenage Sons I am finding it hard

16 replies

jooleybee · 14/09/2007 19:54

I have a thirteen year old (only) child. he of course is the apple but just recently is growing up I spose. I feel increasingly out of control

OP posts:
southeatsastras · 14/09/2007 20:01

why out of control?

Original poster
jooleybee · 14/09/2007 20:09

Well, he has now started having a social life and our cicumstances have changed we used to have our own business, working from home all hours, now i have a "normal life" and am just dare I say taxi driver. I can't relax in eve as I am constantly having to drive here or there, I have always liked my routine.. you know dinner jarmies, glass of wine !

OP posts:
southeatsastras · 14/09/2007 20:10

i know that feeling. mine would say he's sorted a lift home, then ring me at 9.30 to pick him up. grr

Original poster
jooleybee · 14/09/2007 20:15

Precisely! I just want and am trying (well sort of) to say right this is my night I am going to watch/get pjs on pop out for a pint whatever and for him to know that he has got to either make his own way home or whatever. trouble is he is a mummies boy (my fault) and is not that adventurous or independent yet so its very hard. although I want him to be more self sufficient I still worry about him doing this and that.

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saggarmakersbottomknocker · 14/09/2007 20:17

jooleybee - I think it's a tough age - growing up and having more of a social life but not really being wise enough to deal with it.

My ds1 has just passed his driving test so I've been slightly relieved of all the taxiing (just ds2 and dd to sort) but now I have the worry of him driving himself!

NotAnOtter · 14/09/2007 20:19

you need to learn to say no!!

Original poster
jooleybee · 14/09/2007 20:22

Well yes, I know basically as my dad used to say .... you neer stop worrying about your kids, i think I was about 27 when he last said that. I think I am just a worrier and always want to know I am doing things right, if there is a right and wrong way. All my friends have kids that are sot of 6 upwards and they think I am so lucky because my son is older and more independent, but it is not easier unless you are the kind of person who doesnt care where you kids are or what they r up to, although reverting back you more you do for them the more they expect and by that i mean discipline.

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Original poster
jooleybee · 14/09/2007 20:24

Notan, i have tried, but am quite a keep the peace sort of person I know i should be firm and I can be but maybe I just want a quiet life, which is wrong I know.

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saggarmakersbottomknocker · 14/09/2007 20:27

It's not that easy to say no though.

If there's not much going on locally they either brave the bus (risky here) , get a taxi, get a lift or stay in.

jooleybee - get together with some of his friend's mums if you can and share out the lifts.

southeatsastras · 14/09/2007 20:27

it's hard worrying about them coming home alone at that age too isn't it. my son's friend lived just that little bit too far away for him to walk alone (in the dark argh) it makes you worry so much that it's easier to just get in the car.

mine is going through a phase (long one) of staying in his room on the pc at the moment. .

the thought of him eventually driving scares me !!

Original poster
jooleybee · 14/09/2007 20:35

True all, I have just moved only 5 mins away from where we used to live but its outside the "accepted" area. My son has no friends here and travels just 1 stop on the train to where his friends are. he is actually scared of being out and about here and has been accosted once already. I am very defensive but also feel that he is not (God forbid) going to be attacked every time he goes out the front door. Hence the he is not quite independent enough.

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Original poster
jooleybee · 14/09/2007 20:38

LO southeast (I am in south east too) I am alo worying about the I want to be alone in my room scenario, if it ever comes. I know that being a paent is just about worrying for the rest of your life. Read on and weep all new mums but it really is isn't it. Whatever happens in your kids lives you feel if it is down to you.

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southeatsastras · 14/09/2007 20:44

my son's voice has really broken too and he booms when he talks. they seem to change so quickly

Original poster
jooleybee · 14/09/2007 20:49

Well definately, i talk about my son (because he is my baby) and people probably think "bloody hell" he is taller than me heavier than me probably 5 ft 6 and weighing 11 1/2 stone (I only weigh 8 stone well in my dreams) and i talk about him as if he is like 2. But and I am sure most parents are like this, he hates the dark still likes me to make him milk at night and tuck him in !!!!!

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southeatsastras · 14/09/2007 21:07

i think this stage is more scary, i'm a girl i don't know what boys are like

Original poster
jooleybee · 14/09/2007 21:09

definately... you cant control this stage, although (secretely) i think kids want you to but you have to let them find their won way

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