Bullying! Or not! Healthy debate and discussion please

[CuriousPixie]

I've name changed for this but I'm currently doing some research on the above subject.

Do you think the term bullying is overused? Are there times when it is just being rude or mean? Are we exposing our kids to the term to such an extent that it becomes the go-to phrase for any perceived slight? Do we need better definitions of bullying? Is it overused so much that it is becoming diluted? Is bullying on the increase or is the definition so broad based that in includes everything? Are we running the risk of creating a society that cannot cope because we are failing to build their resilience to real life? Could this be a mitigating factor in the rise of mental health issues?

Healthy, respectable discussion please.

Bump for afternoon crowd

To answer all your questions - yes! And it's spilling over into all generations.
As an adult I've been accused of bullying when I was merely disagreeing with a point of view during what started as a light-hearted discussion.
My work colleague was accused of bullying by a member of her team when all she'd done, as their line manager, was to pull them up for being consistently late. There then ensued the usual knee-jerk reaction from management where there was an investigation, everyone was on edge and felt shite and my colleague felt truly let down because she was just doing her job properly. All because someone didn't like being called out for being in the wrong.

Those are just two examples that spring to mind but such attitudes start in school. Whilst it's very important to teach what bullying is it is equally important to teach what it is not. That is sadly lacking these days so folk are quick to jump on the bullying bandwagon.

It's such an emotive subject. Bullying is horrible and being a victim of a bully can make life miserable. I would hazard a guess that you may be right but to what extent I couldn't guess without more stats. There is so much encouragement for folk to speak up and speak out against bullying that anything suggesting that something isn't bullying might actually put people off speaking out about it. But then again, the examples that Wishing has mentioned would suggest that there is merit in your argument. It's a tough call!

I work in HR in a big organisation and although there have been cases of genuine bullying and harassment most claims of B&H seem to arise from a manager trying to manage the employee's poor performance or absence, or when the manager makes a decision the employee doesn't like or agree with.

So definitely some (horrible) genuine cases but many that are just someone legitimately trying to manage people.

That’s interesting @BiscuitsUnited I wonder where there is stats on the number of bullying claims in workplace/schools/wherever and their eventual outcomes. Bullying clearly exists, but in what context. I do think there is an increase in the blame culture rather than taking responsibility for oneself so perhaps there is a correlation in crying bully even where there is little justification.

Erm just read this thread which also gives credit to your 'overuse of the word bullying' comment OP. I can understand that the poor Mum is at the end of her tether but a baby wanting fed is not bullying.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4087499-To-feel-bullied-by-my-10-month-old-What-would-you-do-Pls-help