Has anyone got any experience of freaky sleep disorders? (and if not, will you just sympathise with me as i keep getting kicked out of bed)

[Boco]

Dp was diagnosed a couple of years ago with REM sleep behaviour disorder. It means that as soon as he enters dream sleep, he can't shut off the bit of his brain that stops him moving - so if he's running in his dream, his legs are thrashing around. It's characterised by long and very violent dreams - so dp is always fighting burglars and doing karate

2 nights ago for some reason he was attacked by jack nicholson. He booted him in the arse. Unfortunately in real life it was my arse and it hurt. It would be funny if it wasn't alarming and often painful. I've been kicked and punched out of bed so many times - and once a pillow held over my face - he used to have to sleep on the floor when i was pg - and still ends up there alot.

He was prescribed a drug to control it which made him unable to function during the day, and eventually that made him ill - so he's stopped taking them. He's been better for nearly a year, but gradually over a few weeks its back. It seems to me it could be related to stress as he hates his job atm.

There are no other drug options. I don't know what else to do, it's hard to sleep when you're waiting for it - i hate that he ends up on the floor - i guess separate beds are the only option.

I know its a fairly rare condition but any other experiences would be good?

Could you do two singles together which you can push apart if necessary?

It sounds really hard Boco. Does he get stressed out/really tired during the day because he doesn't sleep properly?

Have you tried any alternative medicine?

He does get exhausted because he doesn't go into the deeper sleep - just the REM sleep - and so he's waking up feeling like he's spent the whole night fighting /running - which in a way he has. Then he goes to a job he hates which becomes increasingly hard to manage - but getting one he wants becomes harder and harder because he can't think straight. And then we spiral.

Well that's what has happened, but i need it to not happen this time.

Oh, sorry, Boco, asked you about insomnia treatments and it was a totally irrlevant question.

I also saw the programme about this and though I have no advice I agree with Franny that you need to sleep separately at the moment at least. I would actually sleep in a separate room. You can't just lie there until he's finished jogging without seriously disturbing your rest. Then you have to be Mum all day.

Is there any way he can leave his current job or is that a stupid question?

He is trying - that would be ideal and has been trying for a while. It's a bit of a vicious circle - stressy job means sleep disorder, sleep disorder means less able to cope and function and get another job.

poor fella.

its not the same thing but my DH often kicks or hits me in his sleep. He remembers nothing about it but I do. well he says he doesnt.

A few times I've gone downstairs for a better sleep.

boco

me and dp have slept in sperate beds for 6 years - more than half our relationship. He has sleep aponea where he stops breathing in his sleep and wakes himself up a bit and snores loads. He has this machine that keeps his airway open. We have a little house and I sleep in all kinds of places - a bit like a cat. My friend thinks it is awful that I don;t have a sleeping place but I like it. Not sleeping together is fine once you get your head round it.

Sounds horrid though - I hope he can find some ways to relax more. My DP gets depression too and doctors say it is partly due to lack of quality sleep (not lack of quality street - would be shallow to be depressed about that.)

I don't do those hug things but if I did I would - y'know.

Thanks Bee, i have visions of you kipping on top of the fridge and in the wardrobe now. Do you sleep in actual beds? My mum has sleep apnoea - it drives my step dad nuts as she's noisy.

Apparently I spend a lot of the night shouting nonsense very loud. But then I do that in the daytime too.

My dp does that stopping breathing thing too. It's not restful, is it?

Stopping breathing is never restful, no. It's generally a Bad Idea too.

Dp went to the dr today, which i'm relieved about. Explained that he can't handle the drug that stops him thrashing about - so got upped medication for the depression in the hopes that this will help - dr wants to see him every month from now on, so relieved he's taking it seriously. Back to Papworth in a couple of months too.

Good luck!

Would he try acupuncture or reflexology to help with the stress?

It sounds awful for both of you Boco. We have musical beds in this house as DS likes coming in with us and there isn't room or either DH is snoring and I move or I am snoring (as if!) and he moves. But we have spare bedrooms so it's no too bad.

Budababe i've suggested those things -he's not really a believer. Maybe he'll give it a try though - will broach that one again.

Even if he doesn't "believe" both acupuncture and reflexology are relaxing. I had acupuncture for bad PMT (better not tell him that though!) and it really worked. Also for hayfever. And a friend had reflexology for quite a while as she had v. high blood pressure and it really helped her. Blood pressure came down enough for doc to give go-ahead to try for baby.