6 week old - fed up of it all!

[bumbly]

never sleeps on back
cries if you put him down and dont hold him
always wants to be in my arms
rarely sleeps in day
sleeps intermittently in eve if lucky
vomits every few days
never seems happy - apart from a few mins a day
has reflux
has lots of wind

and health visitor says it is normal

well i think something is seriously wrong

anyone feel the same

actually fed up of the LO tonight - was hoping to have an eve out for some exercise for an hour but he threw up and there goes my first eve out since birth

want out

and am seriously worried re the LO

Ohh, meant to add about the chiropractor/osteopath. It was not obvious to look at ds1, but the woman we saw actually showed us how his spine was twisted and without me saying anything to her about my pregnancy, labour or delivery, guessed exactly how my labour & delivery was. She knew that he was a back to back labour and he was delivered with his hand on his face (silly boy!). It turned out the twist in his spine was compacting on a nerve, hence his pain and colick. He was much, much better after 3 or 4 sessions, the looks of relief on his little face was more than worth it.

Did the GP give you any meds for the reflux?

It does sound mostly normal sorry. I had a couple of days in the sixth week with dd1 when she never slept more than 5 mins at a time. I was insane with sleep deprivation.

It does get better. babies don't seem happy at this age because they either are cross or not cross. No smiles no chuckles. Personally I think they learn to smile at six weeks for their own survival!

What kind of a sling have you got? They all sound a bit snuffly btw. A wrap is best for comfort for you and him and you can sling your coat on and go.

Here are some pointers that I found helped loads.

Always make sure your changing bag is ready to go. Lay your clothes out the night before and get dressed if at all possible as soon as you get up. Get some slap on and brush your hair.

Find places to go where other mums are, toddler groups have babies there too and you can sit and have a cuppa in peace while the mums of older ones cluck over your teeny baby.

having somewhere to aim to get to really helps. It is amazing how much better you feel once you get out for a walk/change of scene but it is hard to motivate yourself if you don't have a time//place to aim for.

i'd definitely go back to the cranial osteopath and tell them how you feel. we took dd, there isn't any wrenching or weirdness, it's like the person barely touches the head.

i've had it myself as well, you lie on teh chair thing thinking 'this is money for old rope, they're not doiing anything' and it's only when you walk out onto the street you realise that migraine that you've had for three weeks is GONE.

good luck with everything, i remmeber people talking about six weeks as the golden mark where things get better, but for me it was eight weeks. like night and day.

Being stuck with a screaming six week old baby sucks, but it does get better. Others may frown at this advice but Do whatever you can to get some sleep, don't worry about teaching him bad habits at this stage, any sleep will make you both feel better. We found pacing up and down with music on very loud and baby on shoulder usually sent ours to sleep. Let him sleep on your chest whilst you have a nap (unless like ours he wakes as soon as you sit down). Get a baby carrier and walk. One thing that transformed our lives was once they were big enough for a sleeping bag, at about 6 weeks, cuddle / pace / rock whatever with baby already in sleeping bag and then when you put them down they stay warm, snuggly and smelling of you. Hang in there, this sounds exactly like both mine around 6 weeks, but they are both excellent sleepers since and still sleep 12 hours a night and they are now 5 years and 2years

A skilled CO will work such that the baby barely notices . It can only help and is worht a shot, simply for anecdotal positives. Yes having a refluxy baby sucks but sometimes you have to just mop up and go out. tbh if I hadn't already got ds when dd(the refluxy one) was arrived , I'd probably have been the same but life ahd to go on. I still avoided some trips out but using the upright sling (Baby Bjorn) gave me some freedom to shop etc.

Have you had your 6 week gp check up that is a better place to raise your concerns than HV and to ask for thickeners etc although I'd, with the benefit of hindsight, tend to agree with your HV that it falls within the realms of normal and may yet resolve itself. He may suddenly turn a corner at this age, or around 8 , 12 or 26 weeks, and life become more like you expected.

However if all is medically well but you find that you still cannot accept it and/or continue to fret maybe you have signs of anxiety or even PND. It clearly does seem to affect your enjoyment of your ds and how relaxed you are with him , which probably isn't helpful in itself. Him settling on your dh is not the end of the world, really it isn't, and does n't mean he'll do so forever.

Some of this wil surely be down to the reflux. Have you discussed it with your gp? Is ds on any medication? A sling truly is a godsend, but for a refluxy baby you need one where the baby will be upright rather than in a foetal position. My ds had bad reflux and he slept for hours in his sling when he wouldn't sleep in his cot. Also propping the head of the cot up so he is lying on a slant might help him settle. You can also try holding him upright for half an hour after every feed; you can buy colief drops instead of infacol to go in his bottle; maybe try a different teat to reduce wind? Like a previous poster said, just do anything you possibly can to get some sleep and don't worry about bad habits. Ds spent the first three months of his life sleeping on our chests, always bf to sleep, and now he goes down in his cot no problem. As everyone else says, it does get better - but get down to the doctors for some reflux meds if you don't have any, they can make a big difference.

Sounds fairly normal. Get a sling so you can carry the baby around with you during the day. Reconsider cranial osteopathy. It made a huge difference with my ds and our neighbours whose dd had colic thought it helped her as well.

Personally, I think things started to improve around 8 weeks, not 6 weeks, but guess it's probably different for everyone.

I remember when DS was 7 weeks old and saying to DH, in all seriousness "Why did we bother having this baby?". It was the middle of the night, but just then I had no idea why we thought a baby had been a good idea.

By 8 weeks things were a lot better .

Reason i asked which formula was because both of my 2 were very sick on Sma i always used Aptimil in the end & it seemed to be so much better for them to keep down, not saying this is why your baby is sick etc but maybe you could try it to see if it helps?

bumbly ARE you feeling any better ?

no note really hence the silence....had a bad few days

Hi bumbly,

people have said on this thread that things got better after 6, or 8 weeks.

I'll see that 8, and raise you all a 14! This was how long it took for DD to get sufficiently settled so that I could put her down for an hour or to in the evening. Funnily enough, this was when I stopped feeling like a wrung-out washing, feeding and changing machine, and started to bond and feel like a mum.

I don't say this to sound like the voice of doom and gloom, but so you know that it WILL get better, just not necessarily on the same timetable as for other mums and babies.

thank you - hope it applies to me too!!!

thanks again!!!

update: 8 weeks old today...not getting any better

in fact i think we are going backwards - back to two hourly feeds, even louder piercing screams of pain

i really dont think babies should have all this trouble surely?

i mean how did cave women survive?

My two were deamons till 12 weeks. we resorted to an oespeopath and she was excellant. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

If I were you I would go to the GP, possibly even tape the crying and play it for them.

I knew DS2 had bowel problems, but everyone just told me he was dehydrated. I insisted that he was examined again and he had an op at 1 week old to correct things.

I am a believer in you know your baby best.

Do you have any family that can help out for a couple of house, so you can get some rest?

The first 6 or so weeks are like hell on earth. It's punishment for 20 odd years of self indulgence!

I promise you it does get better!

Oh and would defo recommend CO and possibly a reflexologist.

Have you tired getting out and about. Does going out in a pram or sling help?