Cancer support thread #74 - come in, we're here for you.

[Hippiechick162]

Welcome to the new support thread for anyone who has cancer, at whatever stage of treatment, is worried about symptoms, or is waiting for tests or results.

This is the place to worry, moan, ask questions, share experiences and good and bad news, and celebrate milestones!

If you've got a loved one with cancer then your best place for support is probably on the Life-Limiting Illness board.

Our previous thread iswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/3760336-Cancer-support-thread-73-come-in-were-here-for-you

Current members, please do introduce yourselves smile

Well I just cried in Manchester airport .
I had a long morning with an early flight and a lot of tests at the hospital .
Firstly my boarding card wouldn’t let me through and sparked a security alert then I was told to take my hat off ( I have no hair ) then I was sent ( escorted ) to check in desk to replace boarding card which also did not work .
Then I was kindly given a fast track security but had been given meds by hospital that Security would not let through . So I said - nicely - to dump them but they insisted - again nicely - that it could be sorted .
By then I was hot and bothered and having drunk my bottle of water desperate for a wee. It took ages but the more I tried not to cry the worse it got and everyone was trying to help and I just wanted to get away from them .
Anyway I have treated myself to the pay lounge and have had some lunch and a good coffee in pleasant surroundings .

Trumpton that sounds like the check in from hell. Why did they make you take your hat off. I hope they were duly apologetic. As for not letting your meds through. What planet are they on. I am so furious for you.

Other than all of that I hope your appointment went OK and that you are happy with all of the arrangements.

So glad you treated yourself to the pay lounge. I think you are very restrained having just lunch and coffee. I would have been treating myself to a very large glass of something or other after all of that bother.

Trumpton that sounds awful. Hope you're feeling better now x

@redspook you box analogy is very apt. I'm still mid treatment, post surgery but waiting for path results and RT. One of the reasons I'm paranoid about anyone knowing about my DX is because it also gives them a key to the box. It's much harder to keep your box locked if others have a key. Even if their key manifests as a certain tone of voice or a head tilt, it opens the box wide.

I met my closest friend for lunch today, but I couldn't bring myself to tell her. I just couldn't. I know she'd be so hurt that I kept it from her, but

Oh @Trumpton, that sounds awful. It feels like you are being crushed when there are too many people and they are all focused on you...it's my nightmare! I can't even stand shopping centres etc.
How did the rest of your trip go? Were your appointments ok? Thinking about you
@redspook love the box analogy

I'll find out the biopsy results on my jaw (and whether the cancer has really spread) this afternoon.

Good luck @BitOfFun ...here's hoping it's nasty but short term side effects

My talk with the surgeon went well .
She is now doing to have to take some of the chest wall muscle away in the operation as she said there are some tendrils spreading . It will be less stressful on my post chemo body to go in and take a larger section than spending longer trying to tease them out and maybe missing some .
That means that the diep from my stomach will have to include muscle from that area rather than just the fat she initially planned to take so not as pleasant for me . But those who have followed my posts will know that it’s a sneaky bugger and I am happy to go in big and get it all.

@redspook yes the box !

And

@peaceanddove Too Many people at the airport had the key to my box I could feel the waves of sympathy and I hated it even though it came from a good place .

@BitOfFun Thinking of you x

I see that there are a few of us sitting on boxes, and yes @peaceanddove I also keep my secret so that others don't have the opportunity to prise open the lid.
I'm glad that the talk with the surgeon went well, @Trumpton and sorry to hear about your experience at the airport.
You are obviously doing really well, @Hippiechick162. Keep working on the recovery.
Good luck for this afternoon @BitOfFun, I'll be thinking of you.

I don't have a box? I let everyone know about everything and also have a good scream into a pillow when I need to. I must be a bit odd, in that I do sort of worry, but also have a 'que sera' attitude. If it happens, then it happens. I do get pissed off with people who say you must be sooooo brave. Don't get a choice. It's not about being 'brave', it's just getting on with life (as long as it doesn't hurt too much).

Anyway, I've decided that after the kidney scan on Saturday, I'm going to ring up the private medical and get it done through that. I was getting my bloods done today and the sheer volume of people and smells and noise at the hospital pretty much decided me. Plus I remember when I came out of isolation last time and was on the ward, how awful, hot and noisy it was.

Fingers crossed I get a call about interview today and if I'm successful () then I can book the op before start date. If I'm not, then I'm going to cry and book it for when I'm supposed to be at work cos I can get special leave. Same organisation but better department and no more night shifts.

I don't tell anyone anything until I know exactly what I'm dealing with ( which is why MN is helpful!). DH and the 3 DC ( adults know) because they may need to help out with DD who is bed bound. I've told a close friend who is in a mums support group for people with the illness DD has. And that's it. When I know if I have cancer I will tell the people who is will affect, not many!

I'm not brave for 'battling' cancer, I sat in the chair and let them poison me so I would live. So far I have

I think the thing about telling or not telling is that you need to do what works best for you. I didn't tell my grown up children until I had a clear diagnosis and the surgery was complete so we knew what I was dealing with. Other close friends and family got told either when I needed to explain why I wasn't going to be able to do something or when I saw them face to face. The only person who had a problem with this was my sister in law who wanted to know why I hadn't told her but I just said I was waiting to see her.

The box analogy is very helpful, I shall be using that to help me sort out my feelings and hopefully soon I will be able to go and look for a padlock!!

Hello All, I've just had a preliminary diagnosis of cancer in my right breast. I will get the extensive biopsy results on Thursday. This wasn't what I was expecting . My mum died from breast cancer 3 years ago (aged 61). I'm 43 with an 11 month old. There are so many thoughts going through I mind so thought I would join this thread for some support. I just keep looking at my DD thinking I won't see her grow up

@BitOfFun crossing everything that the news this afternoon is as good as it can be.
@Babysharkdoodoodood and @Thatsalargeagegap sending sympathy and a handhold for this hard time.
@Trumpton I'm really sorry to hear of your horrible airport experience. That's the last thing you needed.
@redspook you're so right about the box of worries. Even though I do pretty much speak up to DP and a few other people about how I'm feeling, there's always niggly questions under the surface.

Grr, have been bumped to tomorrow. Hey ho.

Just checking in. Sorry for those who are going through a rough time. Keeping my fingers crossed for all those waiting on tests results.

@citybumpkin It's a really horrible time to go through but there's lots of support on this thread. I think we all go to the worse case scenario in our heads but many women survive breast cancer as the treatment gets better with every passing year.

I've kept my diagnosis under wraps as much as possible. I'm still working through chemo and trying to live as 'normal' a life as I can. I've requested psychotherapy to help deal with the stress and anxiety a cancer diagnosis can bring. It's a struggle at the moment as I'm only on cycle 3 out of 7 for chemo. I'm in the thick of my body feeling broken with no light at the end of the tunnel.

Hello & welcome to @citybumpkin. It is such a shock at first, but it does fade and settle down a bit I promise. I have an anecdote which will reassure you I hope. My MIL was diagnosed with breast cancer when my SIL was just a babe in arms. MIL was certain she'd never see her daughter even start school. Well she saw SIL finish university and now has seen her grandchildren start secondary school! And she's still going strong in her early 80s

@barberousbarbara, you are not broken young lady, far from it. Think of it as being refurbished instead!

@barberousbarbara my very lovely friend sent me this when I was feeling the same, along with a pot with some golden cracks. I think of it often, hope it helps

@citybumpkin welcome to the best support group ever. It's a group no one should ever have to join and yet we all lift each other up in a way those who have not experienced it could never do!
I know your feelings, I have 4 children from 21 to 5. My 21 yr old is also expecting. Those dark thoughts often invade at night, I like to draw and paint so I've used that. Find your thing and use that to calm you. The treatment and support now is so vastly different from even 10 years ago so try not to dwell too much...once you have a plan it will be easier xxx

@citybumpkin I’m so sorry you find yourself here. I completely understand your thoughts mine are there at the moment. I have bowel cancer and an 18 month old. They did calm down slightly when I got treatment plan but they are raging up again since I have been to genetics appointment. I don’t even know if I have anything that ‘caused’ it yet but all I can think is even when I beat it this time my body is going to be a ticking bomb. I don’t know how to get out of this mindset it’s three month wait for results.

Sorry for not naming others. I have left it a few days so now get people mixed up again and on day 5 of current cycle so functioning is not a current strong point.
Have been reading and thinking of you all though.

Thanks all for the welcome! I obviously don't want to be here but... Its a complete shock. I found a lump 20 plus years ago, had a biopsy, it was found to be benign so I was expecting the same. I was bfeeding DD up to 8 months. Have had no other symptoms apart from the lump. We have also just moved away from the UK so I'm feeling very alone. I struggled earlier to play with DD as all I can think is that I won't be around for her much longer. I've been lying in bed most of the day (DP is taking care of DD) trying to sleep but just keep googling prognosis etc.

@citybumpkin sorry just realised my attempt at a supportive post was all rather depressing and me me me. Please forgive me .

What I was badly trying to get across is you are in a good spot here and if many are feeling what you are right now we certainly have so it’s a good place to open up and get it out.

@hippiechick that is absolutely beautiful imagery thank you for sharing. That's how I'm going to consider my newly pert boobs, especially as in time the scars will fade to silver like my section scar

@Squiffy01 Sorry to hear you're feeling the same. I just can't be positive at the moment. I watched my mum suffer for years and I'm going to end up as she did. Why me?