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Original poster

baby blues - how can i stop it happening second time around?

23 replies

mckenzie · 01/10/2004 19:20

After having DS 3 and a half years ago I was diagnosed as suffering from 'severe baby blues'. I got through it with the help and support of DH, my mum and 2 good HVs.
I'm due to give birth to No2 in february and wondered if there is anything that i can take or do to try and ensure that it doesn't happen again.

OP posts:
Original poster
mckenzie · 01/10/2004 20:10

may i bump this please?

OP posts:
cat82 · 01/10/2004 20:16

Oh honey

As far as i know PND and baby blues are both caused by a sudden drop in hormones and is a chemical inbalance of the brain. Sadly, there isn't much you can do to activly stop it, but a plus of knowing you've had it, is realising the signs quicker and getting something done about it. The people who love and care about you are aware of this problem and your worries as well, so they csan also be looking out for you.
Finally, just 'cause it happened once doesn't mean it will happen again, and if it does, it doesn't last forever, and is nothing to be embarassed or feel bad about.

Hugs to you

cat
xxxxx

Socci · 01/10/2004 20:24

Message withdrawn

almost40 · 01/10/2004 20:28

I had the same experience as Socci. I had bad baby blues after DD1, but virtually none after DD2. One big difference was that I exercised throughout my pregnancy with DD2, and I think overall I felt like I was in better physical shape when I gave birth to DD2. So maybe it helped just to exercise regularly. Good luck Mckenzie.

marthamoo · 01/10/2004 20:48

McKenzie - I think the bad news is you can't, but don't despair! I had severe PND after the birth of my first son (now almost 8) and I was very worried that I would get it again with my second child. I was particularly worried about the effect that a bad bout of PND would have on my first-born.

Well...I did get it again. But it was never as bad as with ds1, for several reasons:

  1. I didn't have that total shock of a new baby, which you get with a first one. I knew about sleep deprivation, I was happier handling a new-born (didn't worry I would break him, like I did with ds1!), I could manage nappies, breast-feeding, pushing a pram - none of those things were new and unknown to me.

  2. I had a good support network of friends with babies and children - I was so isolated with ds1, didn't know a soul with a baby, and found Mums and Babies groups terrifyingly intimidating and cliquey.

  3. I had ds1 to look after too. That might sound odd (and is absolutely not of the "pull yourself together" school of thinking) but I HAD to get him to school, dress him and feed him - and even though I did those things badly, I did do them, and it helped.

  4. I recognised the signs. I was lucky that my first bout of PND was picked up on almost immediately by my lovely midwife. This time, I knew the signs myself and was self-aware enough (after 6 weeks of hoping it would get better) to go to my GP and get help.

  5. Most important of all: I knew I would get better. With ds1 I thought my life was over, I didn't believe there was a light at the end of the tunnel, I thought everyone would be better off without me and that I was the worst Mum in the world. With ds2 I knew I was ill - that it would get better, and it wasn't my fault.

One more thought - when I was pregnant my Consultant, having read my notes and seen what a bad time I had had with ds1, asked if I wanted to start taking anti-depressants before the baby was born. I said no: I was hoping I wouldn't get it again and it seemed quite a drastic step. I still stand by that decision but, if I was planning any more babies, I might re-consider.

Best of luck - I really hope your fears are unfounded but, even if the worse happens, you have got through it once and you will again. And I didn't have Mumsnet then - there's loads of support on here for you whatever happens. Oh and a really useful book I found was Surviving Post-Natal Depression, by Cara Aiken (Jessica Kingsley Publishers) - it's basically a collection of case studies of women who suffered PND, and I found it immensely helpful to read that other women had felt the same things that I had.

HTH!

JanH · 01/10/2004 20:58

Mckenzie, have a look at Rhubarb's site unplanned pregnancies . She had severe PND with first child and avoided it pretty much completely with second, with progesterone (?) injections every day for a period after the birth. (The midwife came and gave them.)

Original poster
mckenzie · 01/10/2004 21:35

thanks everyone for your kind messages. I'm hoping that as I'll know a bit more about what I should be doing this time and what to expect (just like Marthamoo explained) that it wont happen anyway. I dont want to go as far as having any drugs 'just in case' but I did wonder if there was anything herbal or homeopathic that might help, that i could take as a precautionary measure. I feel the need to do something as I'm finding myself getting upset now about the thought of it happening again and I know that it's daft.

OP posts:
aloha · 02/10/2004 18:20

Fish oils have been found to help in several studies. Worth a try as good for the baby too.

aloha · 02/10/2004 18:26

Fish oils have been found to help in several studies. Worth a try as good for the baby too.

aloha · 02/10/2004 18:27

Eating fish thwarts post-natal depression.
New mothers are 50 times less likely to suffer post-natal depression if they eat fish, claims an international study.
The Study

  • Over 20,000 women in 20 countries were surveyed Fish studied because it contains DHA (an omega-3 fat vital for normal brain and eye function)
  • Written by Joseph Hibbeln, a U.S. nutritionist,

Low levels of DHA have been associated with:

  • Reduced IQ
  • Attention disorder
  • Stress
  • Schizophrenia
  • Dementia
  • Low levels of seratonin which can influence happiness and are related to suicide and depression.

*In pregnancy, nearly half of the DHA stored in a woman's brain is transferred to the fetus.

almost40 · 02/10/2004 19:08

That is fascinating Aloha. Do you know if the advice on fish is to eat loads of it during pregnancy or after? Also, I can't remember exactly, but it seemed like most fish were on a do-not-eat list during pregnancy due to mercury?? Am I not remembering right? I just remember that someone told me that I shouldn't be eating tuna or salmon. Do you know which fish is recommended?

oneofeach · 02/10/2004 19:21

McKenzie, I haven't read through the other threads properly so sorry if I repeat. I just wanted to say that I had PND after the birth of my first child, with the help of a great HV, GP and a counsellor I got over it. Whilst I was having counselling I became pregnant with DD and like you was worried about what would happen this time...however I never got PND, had the odd day where I felt it was all too much but who wouldn't with a baby and a toddler. My HV was really looking out for me and I suppose my expectations were lower so I didn't feel bad about not being the perfect mother. Saw Aloha's post and I had a big smoked salmon craving during my second pregnancy and ate it just about everyday! Who knows, maybe that's what helped. Best of luck and remember it's not inevitable.

Original poster
mckenzie · 02/10/2004 19:57

thanks again ladies for your posts. I do like fish and crave taramasalata sometimes during this pregnancy so i shall give in to my craving a bit moe instead of freaking out about the fat content! And I'll get a few more tins of sardines etc!

OP posts:
scaltygirl · 02/10/2004 20:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

WideWebWitch · 03/10/2004 10:05

McKenzie, I had mild pnd first time and seem to have got away without getting it this time (dd is 10months) - I'm very relieved. I had a bad moment when she was 8 weeks and posted and got some great advice here Maybe something there will help you too.

aloha · 03/10/2004 18:38

Salmon's fine, just go easy on tuna because of higher level of mercury - a couple of tins a week are OK but it isn't a great (makes lovely pate) and sardines are geat. You do specifically need oily fish for the DHA, or take a supplement of fish oils - just read the label to make sure they don't contain high levels of vitamin A. The label will say if it has vitamin A - but that's really a problem with cod liver oil. I think it's worth a try as it can't do you any harm and seems to be beneficial for the foetus too.

kalex · 03/10/2004 18:43

I have a really nice makeral recipe:

Red pepper chopped finely
Garlic two cloves
2 tins makeral in tomot sauce
1 cup prawns
1 little tin sweetcorn
4 -6oz mixed veg
1 little tin peaches chopped
Cajun spice to taste
78 ml sinlge cream

pepper 5 mins on high
followed in same pan garlic on low
Every thing else in and heat,

Dead easy and lovely with brown rice

kalex · 03/10/2004 18:43

Also sardines on toast can be lovely, if a little smelly

Mum2girls · 04/10/2004 15:52

Sardines in tom sauce, on toast, sliver of mild (spanish or finely chopped spring) onion topped with cheese and grilled.

Loooovely.

Judd · 04/10/2004 20:28

McKenzie, I had PND after the birth of DD almost 3 years ago but so far haven't felt anywhere near as bad following birth of DS 5 months ago. Of course there have been down periods but they have been counterbalanced by definite happy periods - something that was missing the first time round. I agree with everything people have already said, especially Marthamoos's points about why it may not happen again.
I was also scared of a reoccurance (and indeed it may still happen to me) but decided forewarned is forearmed! I've been trying to take regular exercise and eat bananas, cottage cheese and sunflower seeds (contain vitamin B6 which the body cannot store). Also agree with fish advice. In fact, I was reading Dr John Briffa in the Observer yesterday and he recommended 1-2 teaspoons of cod liver oil every day in the winter for SAD sufferers and I'm going to have a go with that. DD was born in December which I also think contributed to my PND whereas DS was born in May.
I wish you all the best!!

jabberwocky · 04/10/2004 21:09

If you take a fish oil supplement do watch out about the vitamin E as well. Your pre-natal vitamins probably have the max that you should have per day and many fish oil supplements have the total daily allowance as well so it is easy to get too much.

Original poster
mckenzie · 05/10/2004 16:59

thanks again girls for all the tips. Interesting that you mention the SAD Judd, as that is adding to my worries. I'm a very outdoors person and DS was born in a lovely sunny June yet I still got the blues but baby no 2 is due in february, dark and bleak and horrible.
I'm stocking up on the mackeral and sardines but wont take any more supplements for the reasons mentioned so that I don't overdose on the vit E. Sardines on toast sounds awful but I shall give it a go. Had mackeral on a toasted bagel today which was quite nice although I did have to throw in some coleslaw!

OP posts:
Gem13 · 05/10/2004 17:25

mckenzie - haven't read through this thread just seen your last post.

Just wanted to say that I had DS in July and felt pretty miserable afterwards. Had DD in February (usually feel absolutely foul in winter) and although I had my moments didn't feel so bad. I think it was partly due to the fact that I was on a high following her birth for a couple of months and then when things were getting to me it was spring/summer. Waking at 4 to feed didn't seem so lonely when it was light outside.

Also, DH and I had flu in April and felt lousy. Once we recovered from that it put everything in persective.

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