Dyspraxia in adults - anyone with any experience?

[Dollywilde]

DH has always been super clumsy and forgetful but I’m wondering tonight if there’s more to it, specifically re dyspraxia.

What’s sparked this is he wound up in hospital last night having walked into a door with his glasses on, shattered the glass and got 6 stitches right by his eye

This is 6 months after the last time he walked into a door and gave himself a black eye, and a year to the week that he was opening a beer, shattering the bottle and managing to slice open his finger needing stitches there too. On top of that he’s a prolific loser of stuff - in the last year he’s lost two sets of headphones, two sets of keys and a laptop. There have been other instances of things being broken due to his forgetfulness (putting jeans in the washing machine with his phone still in them, etc)

He’s got absolutely no sense of direction, we’ve been known to walk into a room before and when he goes to leave he tries to exit via a cupboard/some other door we didn’t enter by.

He’s super bright and holds down a professional job but his short term memory isn’t great. He also struggles a little bit with hand eye coordination and bits like that.

He has epilepsy (which is now well controlled) which developed after the age of 21 following a head injury. He sometimes forgets to take his medication which worries me a bit but he hasn’t had seizures when he has forgotten (never for more than a few hours).

I’ve generally teased him about his clumsiness/forgetfulness in the past but the latest incident with the face stitches has worried me given how close the glass came to his eye. I was advance searching ‘clumsy husband’ on here and in other threads people had mentioned dyspraxia as a possibility. I was just wondering if anyone had any experience with it and could tell me if the above sounds like it? The more I think about it the more I wonder if it could be connected to it, or to his head injury 15 years ago.

I’m wondering if there’s a benefit to mentioning it to him / whether it will help with strategies to live with it to minimise the forgetfulness and accidents? Or should I just ignore and not look to ‘label’ it? I’m generally quite happy to be the organiser in our relationship but I’m expecting our first child and I know it’s going to change the dynamic on that front, and I’d like to be prepared.

I hope this doesn’t sound like I’m moaning, I absolutely adore him! I just want to know if there’s anything I can do to minimise the risk of him hurting himself/losing valuable things etc.

I'd be interested to know the answer to this.
My (adult) dd is seeking a diagnosis of dyspraxia, and we have been passed from pillar to post. It seems to have confused the system, because she is an adult.

Is he concerned about it? I'm undergoing assessment for dyspraxia at the moment (I posted about it under a different name I think), and whilst in some ways it makes me feel better to know that there might be a reason for the clumsiness etc, it has also made me slightly paranoid as every time I do something a bit daft there's "dyspraxia" running through my head and I'm scared people can somehow tell I'm disabled just by looking at me. If he's worried about being clumsy/ slow etc then maybe talk to him about it, but if it's not affecting his life/ mental health at the moment then be careful

I too am hoping for help with coping strategies, if I get there first I'll let you know!

Bakedpotato do you mind me askig who it is that is making the assessment ?
As in a physio, or ???

It's through my university disability service, so a private assessment paid for by the uni; I'm not sure what sort of doctor it will be, sorry

I'm very lucky in that I realised something was odd before I left education so the support system is in place

It can come with dyslexia. I have ‘moderate’ dyslexia which pretty much presents like this - symptoms get worse when I am anxious which tends to be in most social situations now. I was diagnosed as an adult because I developed strategies to deal with it myself as a child (using a ruler or my finger to read, putting reminders on my hands / car etc for left and right etc).

Specialist Teacher assessors are able to assess for dyspraxia for "educational purposes" in adults ( not a medical diagnosis) which means that the individual can get support at university and Disabled Students Allowance.

That's interesting @fleariddenmoggie
dd is still at school (she's 18, hence 'adult') and it is since she started taking public exams, this has become an issue in school.
I always suspected she had it, but thought 'that's just the way it is - what help would a diagnosis of anything be', and it never crossed my mind how much it impacts on her organisational ability and how that impacts on her in long exams.
I'm so cross with myself - really feel I've let her down by not getting her referred years ago

Is this something the school could arrange ? (preferably before A-levels in the Summer, but certainly in time to go to University)..

Sorry for hijack Dollywilde

@BackforGood. You would have to pay privately. In the SE, it is about £450-500, probably less in other parts of the country. It is usually done in conjunction with a dyslexia assessment. www.patoss-dyslexia.org have lists of assessors

God that’s me to a tee....

Not at all @BackforGood! it’s really interesting.

Thanks all for the thoughts, I initially felt like I was being a bit silly trying to put a name to it when we’re all capable of being a bit clumsy sometimes! I did ask him yesterday in a sort of ‘why do you think these things keep happening to you’ and he said ‘I don’t know but I wish I could understand it’ which got me thinking. I have to admit the constant losing things is quite frustrating and I worry about him (even things like making sure he has his keys when he leaves the house if I’m not going to be in when he gets home).

That said I’m a huge list fan and have a tendency to over-plan, so we’re very much opposites in that respect! He’s very relaxed and sanguine about this stuff usually - like with the stitches he actually said ‘it’s ok, it’s happened before’ which I found quite sad, it’s like he’s resigned to getting lost/losing things/hurting himself. It’s difficult as, as his DW, I very much do not want to mother him!!

Seeing as you guys don’t think it’s a totally bonkers jump to dyspraxia, I might gently broach it with him once he’s feeling a little less sore from the stitches. Maybe will have a google for adult strategies and point him in their direction if he seems receptive. I just need to make sure I’m framing it as a ‘this might help you/I worry about you’ thing as opposed to ‘ffs DH, do this so I don’t have to get the locks changed YET AGAIN because you’ve lost your driving licence and keys in the same bag’ 🙈

Maybe have a look at a list of symptoms on dyspraxia UK or NHS? There are actually quite a lot of things related to it which I thought "yes yes yes" to which I hadn't even considered. You sound lovely and supportive, I'm sure you'll be able to phrase it in the right way, especially if he's mentioned wishing it could change. Do be prepared for some difficult feelings though - he may be completely fine, but it might cause anger, frustration and feelings of inadequacy to come to the fore.

OP..... do you know if your DH was late to walk? Did he struggle to learn to tie his shoelaces or ride a bike? Is his handwriting messy? What's his driving like?

@Dollywilde He has to have had a history of poor co-ordination since childhood.

DD (adult) and I both have dyspraxia (she also has dyslexia) - she has compensated by being hyper organised (although she is still able to trip over air). I have calendar alerts for everything, lose possessions and I am extremely untidy . Neither of us is any good at activities involving hand-eye coordination.

He can mention it to his neurologist who can refer him for a clinical neuropsychological assessment and advice. He may also need to see an occupational therapist.

I was recently tested for dyslexia via student services at university, it's a slightly different test for dyspraxia. As PP mentioned the test includes considering your history very carefully. I'd had problems since starting school, which was taken into consideration along with my test results. It would be good to know if your DH has had problems all his life or only after his accident. Could the issues he has be related to that? If it was me I would want to know if there was risk of any long term deterioration following a head injury so I'd be wanting to seen by a neurologist.

To be honest even a diagnosis of a specific learning difficulty isnt massively helpful in later life, but if it helps focus on ways to manage it then it could be worth getting tested. The test here is £300 with a clinical psychologist.

To be honest even a diagnosis of a specific learning difficulty isnt massively helpful in later life..

Not sure if this is actually true - it provides you with some protection under the Equalities Act, support at University and access arrangements for professional examinations and some workplace assessments.

However, I missed that the OP's husband has had an accident - he should definitely discuss his difficulties with his neurologist before considering anything else.

My son is dyslexic & dyspraxic, the two are often very closely associated. Dyslexia affects my son's ability to spell, dyspraxia affects his ability to process information and write and also he's weird about how things feel. Take your pick as to which one mean's he struggles with telling time & left and right😃. I've attached a couple of graphics which give you a basic overview, my son hits pretty much everything to a greater or lesser degree.

However, I missed that the OP's husband has had an accident - he should definitely discuss his difficulties with his neurologist before considering anything else.

This.

This is a situation where the difficulties may well have been acquired (from a head injury) rather than being developmental and where there is associated epilepsy.

Please advise him to go via his neurologist OP. Services used to developmental dyspraxia, rather than the effects of a head injury, may not be appropriate.

I known professionals always tend to think in terms of their speciality, but I'd get a full eye test as well, with a visual field analysis (all opticians have one). I've had a couple of patients who have repeatedly walked into things only to find that they have part of their visual field missing.
Its something that's quick and easy to do before an onward referral.

I paid for my DD to have a full SpLD screening once she is 16 turns out she has dyspraxia. The cost was £450 in the NW.