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Original poster

Anyone else suffer from social phobia? It is getting worse and worse. Help!

41 replies

snowkitten · 01/09/2007 10:45

I used to suffer from bouts of anxiety/panic attacks. All the bog standard "I'm going to faint/die/have a heart attack" style stuff until I read a book by Claire Weeks which changed my life . Just recently however the anxiety has resurfaced and I am constantly on edge, adrenalin pumping, totally unrelaxed horrid horrid horrid! I cannot face social situations but force myself to for the sake of my children. I even felt anxious with my mother fgs! I find myself feeling like I am under scrutiny, like everyone knows I am struggling/a fake. Why is this happening to me? I am usually a confident, bubbly, outgoing woman. It is awful awful awful

OP posts:
cornsilk · 01/09/2007 10:47

What was the book Snow Kitten? Maybe the author has written another. Do you think you might be stressed? Could some kind of relaxation therapy help? (just guessing)

Original poster
snowkitten · 01/09/2007 10:48

fwiw - My youngest child is almost 1. Could it be related to pnd? I do hope not

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Original poster
snowkitten · 01/09/2007 10:49

cornsilk - i am stressed looking after two lo's virtually single handed as dh is alwyas out and my family and his live miles away. my best friend moved away to the coast 18mths ago and I have other friends butno on I could just call on to have the lo's for a couple of hours iyswim.

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Nbg · 01/09/2007 10:50

I can utterly sympathise with you snowkitten and it is absolutely 100000000% horrid.

I actually say that if you could bottle the feelings, they should give it to criminals instead of putting them in prison because its that horrible

Have you had any counselling?
Did that book really make a difference?

Nbg · 01/09/2007 10:51

what was the book called?

Original poster
snowkitten · 01/09/2007 10:52

nbg teh book did make a difference. I am reading it again now. Why does it happen? Do you think I need counselling . What would they say? This is friggin awful

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Original poster
snowkitten · 01/09/2007 10:52

it was called 'peace from nervous suffering' by Dr claire Weekes

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filthymindedvixen · 01/09/2007 10:54

Has something triggered these feelings snowkitten? What's happening in your life?

some small tips

  1. Remember that everyone has some of these feelings sometimes
  2. Give yourself tiny targets to reach each day (eg, say 'hello' to one person at a Mand T group or school gates)
  3. Ring a friend who makes you feel good about yourself
  4. Talk to someone about how you are feeling (a friend, your mum, even a HV or GP)
  5. Practise breathing I mean, breath in through your nose and breathe out in a whhooo through your mnough, slowly to a count of say, 3 or 4.
  6. Can you find time to try a yoga class or tai chi or something to help you learn relaxation and focussing on breathing techniques.
  7. Concentrate on the person you want to be (ie that bubbly, confident, outgoing woman who is hiding at the moment and 'pretend' to be her for say, five minutes a day. And hold outo those feelings

And {hugs} it's a horrid feeling x

Nbg · 01/09/2007 10:55

I think it happens because of a certain event in your life.

In your case it could be your friend moving but once your aware that you have it, you become scared of getting anxious because it feels so bad. If that makes sense.

Original poster
snowkitten · 01/09/2007 11:00

FMV - thanks for that . Funny thing is, I am OK with strangers . It is more the people that mean something to me that effect em the most. Maybe it is because I don't want them to sense I am losing control of myself . It is horrible, I feel like I am at an interview everytime I meet up with friends.

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Nbg · 01/09/2007 11:02

They are good tips FMV. I will bear them in mind too.

I can understand what you mean sk. I find it hard to answer my mum or dh when they ask me of I am ok.
I want to say yes of course I am but I know really I'm not.

Original poster
snowkitten · 01/09/2007 11:08

nbg - are we going mad???

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filthymindedvixen · 01/09/2007 11:16

sk, PND is usually picked up before now but it is possible!

Nbg · 01/09/2007 11:19

lol

it feels like it sometimes.
For me just reading your original post, the bit where you said "All the bog standard "I'm going to faint/die/have a heart attack" style stuff", that was nice in a weird way to read.
Thats exactly the stuff that gets me down.

Nbg · 01/09/2007 11:20

I know for me it started when i was pg last year and it never got any better. I am now 27 weeks pg again.

Original poster
snowkitten · 01/09/2007 11:25

nbg - poor you . But mega congrats too . You would think that havig a baby would put everything into perspective wouldn't you? I sometimes wonder if it is because I am too self indulgent? Always thinking about how I feel etc. But I don't think it could be. Could it? .
My panic even set in while driving my dd, ds and her friend the other day. I was on a route i had not travelled before to a farm and I just felt I was going to either combust or faint at the wheel! Grrrrrr! I get so with myself. What on earth is my head doing to my body???

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filthymindedvixen · 01/09/2007 11:27

oh wow! Congrats nbg

Nbg · 01/09/2007 11:34

Thanks
Its mixed emoticons because I didnt really want anymore children after I had ds last August and that was mainly down to the anxiety.
I just hope it doesnt get any worse but having said that, I dont think it can.

Its the fainting thing I dont like. I do sometimes have to go and lie down its that bad.

filthymindedvixen · 01/09/2007 11:36

nbg, I don't know how you feel about this, but does your HV know how you are feeling? Or have you ben struggling through by yourself?

Nbg · 01/09/2007 11:42

Yes she knew but I havent seen her for months now.

My MW does my antenatal appts at home because I dont like going to the Dr's. I am on Citalopram but its only 10mg. I was on 20 but it was making me feel sick and vomit.

I also tried CBT but didnt find it worked.

filthymindedvixen · 01/09/2007 11:45

Just a thought, but there is in north yorks, an 'online' CBT type programme which you can do at home to deal with anxiety and depression. You have to ask your GP to refer it to you before you can access it. I have no idea about how effective it is, as it is a new thing which we were given a leaflet about at work. Lots of downloadable worksheets as far as i can tell.

Nbg · 01/09/2007 11:54

Ahh right, that sounds interesting!

I do need to see my gp so I could ask then.

Original poster
snowkitten · 01/09/2007 12:44

nbg - i feel like fainting quite regularly. Haven't done yet thank god. The worst is if I am driving. Awful. uuuurgh!

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Original poster
snowkitten · 01/09/2007 12:47

do you kjnow what? I am going out with the lo;'s in about 10 mins and my anxiety levels are sky high . Why oh why?

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Nbg · 01/09/2007 14:05

I soooo know how you feel.

Do you know I was told that it is impossible to faint when your having a panic/anxiety attack because your blood pressure is so high. Its physically impossible.

Doesn't really help me though when I do get it.
I just want to curl up in my house.