When not on Antidepressants I become almost inert most days of the month. Do not get anything done, cannot find the energy/motivation to get on with a single thing... but am feeling fine/happy/content. Have been like this since a teenager. Any ideas?!

[Jackaroo]

The reason I ask is that I'm just coming off tablets for first time in 2 years and feel completely OK, except I'm back to this inertia which pretty much killed my career tbh, and just doesn't seem normal. I have one day a month (2-3 days pre-af) where I get more done than in the previous 4 weeks. My mum says she was the same, and has felt so much better since the menopause.. but I'm not going to wish that on myself!

Any ideas, suggestions, it's obviously hormonal I suppose, but anything I can do about it???

Too weird? Too technical? I may have sounded flippant, but it was as serious question. Anyone who has any ideas at all? I haven't put this in the depressed section, because it doesn't feel like depression to me....... oh I don't know, I just thought someone might throw me a line (rather than a rope )

What are you like when you're ON them? Just asking because that's what I'm like most days..and I'm about to ask my GP to be put on AD's.

Not any help to you, sorry..just curious what the difference is.

is there a reason to come off them now? Could it be too soon?

Have you tried something like CBT to combat the lethergy?

Hi, really can't be much help, but it does sound like you should be seeing a specialist re hormones not depression. Perhaps you could see a herbalist and or dietician or something in the mean time. It may be that they can be of some help. I've seen a herbalist/dietician before and found her fab.

Sorry can't be more help. Hope someone useful comes along.

Yay, people!
When I'm on them I function much better; I do more in an everyday way, and have more days where I'm omnipowerful (3-4 times a month).. for example, I'll come home from work, and rather than drag myself around getting food for DS, I'll pop a load of washing on, tidy a corner/hoover something and have fun with DS whilst feedingh him his tea - does that help?

I've come off the med.s because I feel I've worked through everything thing there is to work through (as much as one ever can) and the fact that I'm not back to the weepy/angry mess I was when I first needed them, I'd say it's going OK. I've had lots of therapy too, not just the med.s so it's not just been a sticking plaster.

The other thing that I'm just stringing together is that my emotional reaction to hormones has just been surreal/out of proportion in the last 3-4 years (complete meltdown with early m/c, prenatal depression/PND, took the Pill for one week and ended up hiding in bed unable to leave hte house).. my pmt has been killer since I cut down the med.s - after the Pill my GP suggested I never go near prescribed hormones ever again.... and I'm just wondering if this all links in some way. In fact, just writing it all down makes me think it is something worth following up. The answer might still be the anti-d's, but anyway.......

'fraid I can't get on with CBT, used to have a lot to do with it (long story) and since having fullblown analysis I guess I find it annoying (sorry, that is very judgemental but it's my experience). For someone who has to talk themselves into brushing their teeth, having to do homework is pretty much a no-no

Anymore from any one? Any MN gynae-endocrinologists exist?? lol!

it sounds quite complicated but it seems like your gp is giving you quite good advice. I hope he/she is understanding with this too.

Have you looked a things like your diet and habits? I know it may seem superficial but I find lots of things in my diet really effect my energy levels. (not to belittle your plight though- I recognise how difficult things must be for you.)

Why can't you stay on the meds?

Are you overweight Jackeroo?

How much sleep do you get? Is it quality sleep?

Good question/s. I was relatively overweight after DS was born. have lost 3.5 stone in the last 18 months or so. I am now a size 14. Not big, not small. My sleep has got worse tbh, but it's difficult to tell because I know that can be affected by both little ones and med.s.... I know it's not quality sleep because I'm asleep almost before the light's out, and waking up with every little noise, despite being hard of hearing lol! I also wake up v. early with severe back pain (all postural/carrying toddler etc and terrible bed)...
God I sound a wreck don't I! Truly none of this bothers me on a day to day basis, but I guess you just get used to a lot of it, and compared to how I felt a year ago, life is comparative bliss.
I go through phases of doing exercise/pilates etc, and know everything there is to know about nutrition.. and used to eat very well, and I know this has slipped, but this inertia has been with me through everything - eating issues, full health, jetting around the globe, staying home and pottering...

Probably clear as mud now.

No reason not to stay on the med.s except that the reason I was taking them seems to have resolved.. but I agree if it's the only way to stay functional maybe I should talk to them about continuing with it.

Meant to say, thank you so much for helping me think this through - I need to get to sleep now, whilst I can, but will look out for your posts in the morning....

sleep well jackeroo - i hope you work out what to do for the best. See you soon.

Jackaroo - I will be really interested to read any other replies you get to this as it's something I am asking about myself at the moment.

I haven't taken antidepressants yet although I have been prescribed them. It is interesting that they have a motivating, energising effect on you. which ones are you taking?

I have appalling PMT and am so low energy, so apathetic/lethargic. People around me keep trying to push me into doing something, am I lazy or a hypochondriac? Am I depressed (I have had reason to be in the last few years but it is like a self-fulfilling prophesy, no-one wants to be around someone who doesn't do much and is bad-tempered to boot).

The last time I can remember feeling truly optimistic, energetic, motivated was pre-puberty. I can't believe I have let it go on this long and that I have let it affect my life as much as it has. I can't believe it is as simple as depression either and am leaning towards some kind of endocrinological (sp?) problem as well. I have been told that I have a candida (yeast) overgrowth which can affect hormone balance so maybe this is part of the puzzle. It can cause various symptoms including aching bones, muscles, but these symptoms are similar to those of loads of other problems: depression, anaemia, hypothyroidism, glandular fever, ME, Lymes disease, diabetes....... Obviously poor diet, sleep patterns can play a part as well but if you are more energetic when on antidepressants? Don't know.

I might ask my GP if she can test for hormone levels. ???????

I'm also off to bed but all I can offer on this is that, I feel, IME everyone's drive is different - on a scale of 1-10 I would say I'm a 4. I manage to hold down a reasonable job, 3 days a week now I'm a mum, and keep the house ticking over. I don't do washing everyday -I do 3 loads once a week. I hoover about once every ten days, sometimes I don't brush my teeth til 12 noon - on non office days. I don't smell, my house isn't invested and I'm generally clean. Some people would be horrified by this "laid back attitude" sometimes known as laziness - I prefer idleness. I'll never be a dynamo who does everything immediately or be the top performer at work. I'm happy and satisfied. Jackeroo maybe you're a 2 on the scale or a 1 -maybe after reading this you feel you're a 6 and I'm a sloth . I'm not sure I've helped but I think there is some value in accepting the personality traits we have and learning to make the best of them. I think over analysing can be exhausting in itself. So in summary I would say; give yourself a break and don't put too much pressure on yourself - you might find you get more done - I know I do. Good luck.

oh and well done for losing 3.5 stone - that's no mean feet - I haven't managed it yet!

FTM - lol at sloth or idleness! Thing is I don't enjoy feeling like this, and I don't always feel like this. If I didn't ever have my days of powering through (and if they weren't always the same time every month) I wouldn't think it was anything other than inertness (a word?!).... I know that I'm capable of so much more, and I'd rather have an immaculate house etc etc., but it's not even those things. It's the fact that I feel so "rabbit in the headlights" ALL the time. Almost hypnotised or in a trance or something... I don't know quite how to explain it. I'll stop trying!

Shakenvac (love the name btw) - the tablets just seem to lift the fog. They helped me deal with the really horrible stuff, not leaving the house, not wanting to be with DS, and when I was bawling the whole time they stopped me crying, in fact I didn't cry for nearly 18 months which was very weird. What sort have you been prescribed. TBH if the GP has prescribed them he probably thinks you should take them. I know from experience, they don't work by having the prescription in your handbag

Interesting you should mention ME - I was diagnosed with it when I was 18, and having had it (for about 7 years) for a long time anything better than that felt like a real life iwsim. I still wonder if that was hormone/puberty related, waking up drenched with hot flushes, forgetting who was on the other end of the phone mid-conversation, almost constant muscle pain, sleeping up to 18 hours a day... mmm... interesting to remember that and realise how well I am now by comparison. Maybe I should stop whinging!

From what I can gather so far, I'd agree with most of the others, check your hormonal balance, check thyroid and maybe it really is not too bad an option staying on AD's for a bit longer..

Interesting bit about your CBT experience.. I was put on a waiting list and by the time they finally had a place it was almost 2 years later and due to lack of childcare opportunities I couldn't go anymore. It was ridiculous

Yep, Michelad I've had a think this morning, and I will go and talk to the gp about doing that.

BTW, there are lots of CBT books out there.. some you can work through by yourself. It might be worth your looking on Amazon?

Your experience of your state and your feelings about it sound so similar to mine. I think there can be many pieces to the puzzle but hormones and neurotransmitters could most certainly be part of it. Am I not producing enough Dopamine or Adrenalin or whatever substance it is that causes motivation, action? I don't know enough about it.

It is interesting that you have had ME in the past. Do you think that this could have altered your physiology such that your inertia is a permanent hangover from that illness? (Sorry, this is not a helpful or cheery thought, is it?) I know someone who had glandular fever followed by ME in his early twenties. He has never fully recovered and has been on antidepressants ever since (20 years). He was given Seroxat so, if he tries to stop using them, he gets terrible withdrawal symptoms.

I have been prescribed Citalopram but haven't taken it yet. I have had plenty of reason to be sad in the last few years including bereavement but I feel that I have grieved and come to terms with what has happened. I now just feel exhausted, physically and emotionally and not managing very well. The stress has run me down. I am getting pressure from relatives to make more progress and this added stress is making things worse. Are the people around you supportive of you? Or are the antidepressants keeping you calm?

I do feel that I am very much underachieving and this upsets me but the thing I find hardest is the judgement from those close to me who think I will benefit or change from them nagging me all the time. (It has the opposite effect.)

Firsttimemama must be right. Different people have different energy levels - inate and permanent. Since adolescence, I have always been a slow, low energy person. I do what I have to do but slowly and methodically. I do have perfectionist tendencies and anxieties which delay me. I also waste time drifting inbetween tasks - just not very efficient or productive.

You mention that there are days when you are much more productive. I have good and bad says according to my cycle and I have tried tracking this but is more about mood than energy. On a different tack, I have found something that helps: I bought some thermogenic slimming tablets with things like Damiana, Guarana, Ginseng, etc.. in them. You are supposed to take 2 to 4 a day but I haven't taken them regularly (as a slimming aid) because they make me a bit hyper and anxious. I have found that they have an interesting effect though - if I need a 'power' day, I will take one in the morning as they seem to have the effect of making me tick over continuously doing tasks. I find I cannot sit down and do something sedentary like watch tv as I feel frustrated if I am not doing something. To my mind, the fact that these tablets can reliably make me more productive shows that I am not just lazy. But, in themselves, the tablets are not a solution.

I must sound like a right nutter but your OP just rang a few bells with me.

Hi Jackaroo,

I'm not on ADs but I completely identify with your post.

I have surges of energy during the month and then periods where it's like wading through mud. I don't think I'm a lazy person (although I do struggle with perfectionism/anxiety which can be exhausting) - and no one who's posted here sounds lazy to me - I'm convinced it's hormonal.

It's just so frustrating when you know you're not fulfilling your potential. When I'm in PMT mode I'm tired, I snap at my husband and dd, my mind is 'woolly', the tiniest thing is problematic, I can't make decisions and it's like I'm down the bottom of a well. As soon as my AF has arrived the 'fog' lifts and things get better and better until mid-cycle when I bounce out of bed and everything seems almost effortless again.

I'm going to seriously try and tackle this with diet (less carbs/sugar) and by drinking more water, getting more sleep and exercising regularly. I start my new regime on 1st September and will let you know in a month's time if it's had any effect!

I'd love to know how mood hormones and reproductive hormones interact though. Would your GP refer you to a gynaecologist do you think?

Counting - what a relief to read your post - although I do know that your cycle of moods/inertia is recognisable, I feel slightly envious that you get two weeks on two weeks off, rather tahn only 1/2 days of greatness a month

I am going to see GP this week about drugs anyway, so will ask. Can't hurt I guess.

Thanks for posting, really helped.

hmmmm. i identify too. have no idea about cycles or timing as i seem incapable of doing anything constructive like actually keeping a diary of it to find out if it is cyclical/hormonal.

i feel an utter waste of space half the time... and your thread has rung a few bells for me. no help i know, but have a crying dc at my feet now, so have to go...

Actually it's very helpful, NG, just everytime someone lets me know that I'm not going crazy (well, crazier).

hah.
i hear that sister.

Go see an Endocrinologist! The throid function tests your GP can arrange are very basic.

I was like this a few years back had been for 6 yrs at least. Been tested for diabetes, thyriod, MS, etc was written of evertime I went back, as couldn't cope with the exhaustion, as depressed.

I paid to see an Endo as there was a 16 mth wait, was the best £165 I ever spent. I have secondary hypothyroidism caused by a faulty pituatry (sp?)gland - this cannot be detected by a TSH test. The SRI (seratonin reuptake inhibitors) my GP was prescribing made me feel better by masking the symptoms.

I now take 175 - 200 mcg Thyroxine a day and I'm back to being my former dynamic(ish) self. Although my memory has not been the same since, used to be fab and it's not just me that notices (I'm 35 btw not 65!)