I'm a CES surviver. Mine was in 2006, so 13 years ago. I had 1yo and 2yo toddlers at the time. L3/L4 emergency discectomy.
Recovery all-in was about a year.
I had non-working bladder sphincter (so urine retention) for about 12 months. The first 4 months of that with a permanent catheter. Then I used single-use disposable catheters each time. Gradually I started weeing a little on my own, then a little more until I no longer needed to catheterise. Initially I couldn't tell when I needed a wee, but over time as my nerve damaged heeled this improved.
I also had a non-working bowl sphincter - So poo wouldn't come out by itself. I had to use a delightful method called 'manual extraction'. Which basically involved rubber gloves and pulling the poo out myself. Very degrading and I hated this. But bowl function returned quicker than bladder function and so manual extraction lasted about 7 months post surgery.
Pain, for me, was minimal. I was prescribed tramadol but didn't much need it. After the initial 6 weeks post-op, I was able to physically do as much as I could pre-injury without any pain or discomfort. My issues post-op were bowel/bladder related and psychological. Rather than physical pain.
Numbness was weird to get used to. I have permanent saddle numbness which continues to this day and will never heal. I'm used to it now so doesn't affect me. But it took time to get used to not feeling your bum cheeks. Sitting down was weird, especially sitting on the floor. Hard to explain what it feels like, but your brain thinks you're floating in mid-air!
13 years on, I have pressure feeling in the saddle area but not touch feeling. So I can feel if you like me with a stick but not if you tickle me with a feather. I am also prone to urine infections when I'm run down. If I'm tired or I'll, my bladder retains urine and doesn't get the message to empty fully so I have a tendency to get infections. Bladder infections are compounded by the saddle numbness - I can't feel burning when I see, or itching down there or anything like that. So the obvious signs of a water infection can be missed. I'm used to this now though and know what to look out for.
I remember the overwhelming feeling in that first year, you have my sympathy. But it will be OK, nerves just take a long time to heal.