Its 16:30 and husband still hasn't done ANYTHING

[ILoveJoeBrown]

I've been up since 8.30. Done dishwasher x2, washing machine x3, tumble drier x 2, fed the animals, scrubbed the toilets & bathroom floor, hoovered downstairs, wiped down the dining table, done a poop scoop studied for 1.5 hours (understanding ADHD- ironic), been for a run and showered.

Husband got up at 1130 & has spent ALL DAY on the sofa watching cr@p TV. I know if I challenge him he'll do his "this is how I think and organise myself" thing.

Is this really how it's supposed to be when you're married to an ADHD? I mean REALLY?

Do I have to work like a dog all weekend while he sleeps/ slobs. We both work ft so how come he gets all day off, but I can't? It'll be the same tomorrow. It's got to the point where I hate weekends and I absolutely dread retirement.

We are celebrating our silver wedding next year and I have been tempted to divorce more than once but I'm still here.

Is this my life for the rest of it?

If you have been married 25yrs, are you not used to being treated as a skivvy?

What happiness does he bring to your relationship?

He probably lies on sofa all day because he knows you are taking care of everything. There is no excuse he needs to get his lazy bum up & help. Give him a list of things that needs done &, take yourself up stairs and have a bath or something.

It's not fair you are doing everything I wouldnt put up with it x

I feel your pain, don't want to leave thread unanswered, and I feel echoes of what you say. My feeling is yes, basically it's not likely to change much in the future. I see my parents life, and how mine is looking scarily similar, and I've decided to quit. It's going to be so hard, because on paper we have everything, and to lose all the security I have, in addition to some scary health issues...it's terrifying. But....what I do know, is when you've tried for 20 years to make things feel right, and they still don't....well, they probably never will.
Sorry, I don't mean to hijack your thread. Just feeling it a bit too much tonight x

Do ur stuff not his , or do none of it ( sit on your hands if you have to ) let him see the difference it makes ( to your smooth running lives ) when you do the same as him
Give him a list of stuff to do
Can you get out house ? Cinema ? Give yourself the break you need
Or make ur plans and leave

Why are you doing all that stuff? (Other than showering and running) he doesn’t deem it necessary so why should you? Leave it and see when he decides to step up.

You won’t of course. You’ve been doing it 25 years- you aren’t going to suddenly change your behaviour now. Just as he won’t.

and I have been tempted to divorce more than once but I'm still here.

Is this my life for the rest of it?

If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.

All true. All true. However (?) his ADHD diagnosis has only happened 3 years ago (when our ds22 was also diagnosed after years of trying to get help from school).

He uses this as his 'explanation' for the way he behaves and doesn't take the prescribed medication.

A close gf announced she was splitting from her lifelong bf a few weeks ago & has moved to a houseboat. When DH joked about 'would you do that?' I have to admit I almost said I thought it would be a lovely idea.

Plans right now (maybe) is to wait until youngest ds17 has gone to university (as he almost certainly will) and then ask DH to move out. Of course he will be totally taken aback and blame it all on his ADHD but he does nothing to help himself.

Plans right now (maybe) is to wait until youngest ds17 has gone to university (as he almost certainly will) and then ask DH to move out

I was with you until you said that. Why on earth should he move out?

@ILoveJoeBrown

Mine has been lying on the sofa all day and has done nothing, I have been out Christmas shopping had a pub lunch and got back to find he hasn't moved all day and now wants me to make him some dinner .... tough he can make his own food if he is hungry. Just because he has a high pressure job he expects to spend all weekend doing bugga all ... well he can think again.

Why would he do anything when you bust a gut doing it all!