How can I get over this?

[titsmcghee27]

For a long time I've suffered with toilet anxiety - please bear with me this isn't a troll thread.

By that I mean when I get an anxiety attack one of my key symptoms is urgently needing a toilet. It's a very real urge not just a feeling and if I'm in situations where I can't immediately access one (buses, meetings, car journeys, dog walks) then it can result in a very major panic attack. It's actually beginning to dictate where I go and what I do on a daily basis.

For a long time the problem was my bowels but I seem to have that under control more now. I limit what I eat before a car journey for example and take Imodium. But I've recently started experiencing the same with my bladder. It doesn't matter if I go for a wee right before leaving the house, 10 minutes into a long car journey I'll need to go again - and I mean I will need to not just feel like i need to. I know it's a mental issue rather than a physical bladder problem because if I'm at home or work or somewhere with a loo I'm fine. It only strikes when I'm in a situation that a toilet isn't available.

At Christmas we are driving down to family in the Lake District (2.5 hour drive) and I'm genuinely considering cancelling because I know how traumatic the drive will be. How on earth can I begin to take back control and stop this affecting me? With my bowels I was able to take Immoidum but I don't think a bladder version exists.

I could have written your post @titsmcghee27
I am completely the same with my bladder, I’m known for how often I have to wee when out or on a car journey.
As you say if there is easy access to a toilet I’m fine.
I am following with interest as I would love to know how to control it

@fudgesmummy so glad I'm not alone! It's very frustrating because I know it's all in my head but the anxiety does manifest and create the real physical need to pee. My dp jokes that I need to just get used to the idea of peeing at the side of the road it absolutely necessary and in some way I think if I could get my head around that it would calm me down and consequently reduce the symptoms. But I can't actually picture myself ever being ok with that. I literally count down the miles between services on the motorway and if i know there aren't any it becomes a really traumatic journey.

I know it’s not a long term solution but how about those Incontinence pads/pants I’ve seen advertised on the tv?
I wonder if knowing you would be ok if you had an accident would be enough to take the anxiety away?

Could you get a she-wee (and actually "have a go" before the journey)? Then knowing there is an available alternative may help reduce the anxiety.

Perhaps either of those things would help. I guess a solution to the worst case scenario may reduce the anxiety enough to stop it from happening in the first place. Can you imagine being stood at the side of the road using a she-wee though

If you wore a really long skirt you could probably do it quite discreetly, though. Sounds like it's definitely worth a try! As a PP said, just knowing that if you're truly desperate, there's a solution, might help in itself.

Look at Travel Johns. I use them at festivals for that first thing in a morning emergency wee when I'm miles away from a loo. Hard to describe but think of them as a plastic bag, but long and rectangular with a plastic rim. You wee into it and the crystals soak it up and it turns solidthen you seal it. Better than a shee wee in traffic!
That's short term, long term you need CBT orsimilar.

Get the shewee/travel johns but ask your dh to pop out of the car on the roadside so you can pee in the privacy of the car! Hopefully will reduce the anxiety if you have a workable solution like you say.

Ask for a referral to a pelvic health physio who can teach you bladder training techniques so you don't need to go constantly.

There is medication for people with an irritable bladder who pee too frequently.

Speak to your GP to try oxybutynin or similar. You could also consider trying taking hyoscine from a pharmacy - used for travel sickness - as the side effects can reduce urinary frequency in some people. Although you need to take care that it doesn't interfere with any other medications you might be on or if you have other health issues

I would look into hypnosis.
There are a few studies
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/22453228/

Have you tried CBT?

I've had cbt before when I was struggling with the bowel issues and I have to say it didn't do a lot to help me.

The practical suggestions are very helpful and I'll look into the medication side of it too. It's ridiculous but at home I can drink coffee and juice til the cows come home and not need the loo for hours. But even if I don't drink the morning before a car journey you can bet that within minutes of setting off I will get the urgent need. I am considering looking into anti anxiety medication because I know this is a product of my body reacting to panic and anxiety and going into fight or flight mode by emitting fluids. Logically I know this and yet I can't seem to control it or stop it.

Hypnotherapy might also help

I think she-wee and a non-motorway route.

You'd be able to find a suitable stopping place rapidly, and you'll soon be used to having tree cover only (all men manage this!)

Knowing you can go may well kill the frequency needing to.