Support for stage 4 people where we dont talk about stats or prognosis

[Clogsaregreat]

Ive just been diagnosed with stage 4 BC aged 50..Had dcis 13 yrs ago. Mastectomy and recon..
Waiting for a plan..Can we have a suppport thread to talk abt living with stage 4 and not mentions stats or prognosis. Ive specifically asked for the docs not to tell me.
Ok me. Im 50, work full time, husband, mum and brother. Sadly lost my dog last week. I like The Chase and genreally feel ok but have neck pain and have been diagnosed with stage 4 c.
Please join, lets support each other.

Clogs - I am very sorry to hear this news and I am also very sorry about your dog. I don't have cancer but watched a close friend go through stage 4 BC a couple of years ago.

I think it helped her to put everything in place (will, sorting out a hospice, getting a shower put in instead of a bath etc.) and then to just enjoy herself as much as she could for as long as she was able - lots of social events, trips, meals out, nice food, people round for tea etc. She found the middle of the night hard but listening to the radio helped to block out any worries (and she felt that there WAS no point worrying, as there is literally nothing you can do). I think she found dealing with other people's reactions difficult (especially well-meaning "advice") so she tended not to talk about her symptoms.

I hope someone comes along shortly who can help you more.

and gentle hugs xx

Clogs, I am you, just a bit further on.
I have been lucky, I am stage 4, six years on.
I have no idea what is happening inside me, I chose to just crack on with my life and will only seek medical help when I need help with pain relief.
Have the full support of my oncologist in this decision. As she says,it is personal choice and I have been told quite bluntly that any treatment would be simply pain relief.
For me, double mastectomy, chemo, rads, oopherectomy.
I feel ok at the moment. Have to admit though, every ache is bone cancer, every headache is the brain 😁

I am just living life best I can. At the moment it is shite, but that's another thread!

Chin up🤪

Clogs I’m sure there are a zillion things going through your head right now. My mum fought Ovarian stage 3C for over four years, she also chose not to know too much which for her was a blessing, in the end she fell asleep believing she was due to restart chemo within a few weeks. For the sake of your family though I would consider letting them know as much as possible because for us, we were blind sided in the final few months, some things you need to know for practical reasons.

It’s your decision but I would recommend your husband gets power of attorney for the health aspects if and when he needs to speak with medical staff. It made our lives a lot easier.

All the advice booklets and guides to living with cancer advocate healthy living, keep well hydrated, have a healthy diet, cut down on alcohol consumption if you have any, no smoking etc it all helps your system to absorb any medication effectively and will limit adverse reactions.

Stay focused on positive things and get on with your life as best as you can is the only advice I have. Don’t let it get in your head, I truly believe positivity and determination keeps you going.