advice for those pathetic about needles?

[phdlife]

Sorry to ask such a pathetic question when everyone else has real issues, but... I am dreadful around needles - bad enough for myself but worse when they're for ds! His last set of jabs, I cried so much the HV's asked if I was okay

But the real issue was that I think my blubbing stressed ds out even more - he wouldn't feed afterwards even though I know he was hungry when we went in.

DH is coming to hold ds for his 3rd lot of jabs tomorrow but I am already feeling weepy just thinking about it and I really need a way of getting a grip. My "the disease would be worse" mantra doesn't seem very effective.

Any advice, anyone?

can't someone else take him?

there is a kind of therapy for phobias (I can't remember the name now even though I teach it on one of my modules!), there are 3 steps:

1. Learn relaxation techniques (deep breathing)
2. List situations where you would feel uncomfortable from most stressful to least
3. Visualise yourself doing each step on the list (starting with least stressful) while you are doing deep breathing.

Hope that is helpful.

thanks oregoninian

dh is going to take ds, but I'm getting teary already just thinking about it, and feeling cross with myself because I want to be strong for my little bub. It's only a needle ffs and he won't even remember it!

I'm not phobic, I don't think, it's just like my protective instinct is going haywire - don't want anything to hurt ds!

at myself...

I'm not afraid of needles either but I cried like a banshee at ds1's jabs, made dh go for all of ds2 except last one (which was the worst, I bawled again).
Just mama bear love I guess...

Just don't go in - or if your DH can take him, don't even leave the house. Hide your feelings from DS and if you have to take him in future, explain to the HVs, sign the forms outside the room and get one of them to hold him - just comfort him after. You're right, he'll only be picking up on your stress and that's much worse for him than the needles. I used to insist on lying down and looking in the opposite direction whilst sipping ice water if anyone came near me with a needle but got better while pg. Don't know if I'm permanently cured or whether I'll go back to being cr*p - but am doing OK at putting on a brave face for DS.

it's called systematic desensitisation. Came to me when I was bathing dcs.

So dh came to hold ds, I went out and said to the surgery receptionist, "Right now you've got to distract me from what's going on in there," and she did and they were out in no time and I didn't even cry! ds was better too, he did cry but finished very quickly, no doubt because his mama was behaving better.

then dh took pity on the little chap and decided to carry him home, a 20-minute walk - apparently a very long way with 8kgs of sleeping lo in your arms.

thanks for support you lot

Glad you survived it. Just think what we'll be like when they can DRIVE??!!

thanks oregonian. thanks a LOT. as if I wasn't spending enough time awake these days!

I was born in sacramento, btw, and had a girlfriend once who moved to Klamath Falls.

How's THAT for your homesickness?

haha. i'm from portland actually. how long have you lived on this side of the pond?

I've been here for nearly 8years, but I've moved around a LOT - haven't lived in calif since, um... 1976! You?

in portugal 4 years, then here (ne) for 6. only intended to stay for an ma, finished that and met dh, the rest is history.
are you working on a phd then?

not any more

came over here to do it; took 2.5x longer than it was supposed to ; finished last Feb. Then in spectacularly bad bit of timing dh began studying an MSc so we are only here til he finishes next May!