4.5 stone to lose- just gettingme down

[bumfeatures]

HAve changed my name as i just don't wan tthe people i know on here to know just how depressed i am about this.

I have always been overwieght to a greater or lesser degree my whole life- my grandad used to call me chubby chops and my headmistress suggested that i didn't wear trousers becuase they weren't flattering to me

In the yr 2000 i took myself in hand and joined WW and lost 5 stone and finally got down to a size 14. another 1/2 stone and i would have reached goal weight.
I felt bloody great- very bouncy and healthy and just on top of the world. I was 35yrs old.
Dh and i were jut so thin and fit and we were just great together. we had a fantastic sex life and ran every weekend. I would cycle 18 iles a day.

Then i got preg with ds1 (now 4) and put on quite a bit oif weight once he was born. Then I had ds2 who is now 2yrs old. And more weight went on.

I am now 42yrs old and weigh 14 stone 9 pounds, which is basically all bum and belly, looks horrible on a 5 foot 4 ins frame, really wobbly and lots of folds. I am tired all the time- kids do that and i suppose the weight doesn't help. dh is great but not as skinny as he was- but is very fit as cycles to work.

I feel overwhelmed by this, i haev tried this yr to lose some weight, but i know last time how much of my time it took up to cook shed loads of no points soup etc and i was just so in control of what i ate.
Now i snack constantly and eat with the kids in the early eve and again with dh in thwe later eve. i eat chocolate daily and samdwhiches all the time. I just don't have the energy to get helathy again.

My mother has typoe 2 diabetes and a heart condition- both heritable and they are looming for me in the future

sorry for sucha long thread. i just had to get it all out and maon a bit.
I am so worn out and tired and love my kids to bits but just want them to go away for 6 months whilst i concentrate on myself and fix this problem.
Oh and i am fearful of all the baggy skin that will be left- i have stretched it and lost weight so often now- my belly is covered in stretch marks, i have bingo wings and an enormous bum and thighs.

Oh, and we had sex 2 months ago- it was nice but my big belly was so much in the way- i know what thin sex is like and this just isn't good in comparision.

aw poor you I dont know what to say to help really. I just totally understand about the addictive snacking.

Have you thought about joining WW again?

On a positive note, I met a lady at my running club the other week who has lost 18 stone, going from 28 down to 10 stones in two years. Inspirational.

i joined twice and lost the same 1/2 stone twice then just kinof fizzled out again, dh late home, kids ill, too tired to go etc.. it works to have control over the food and points, but it may sound mad bu i lost the points calculator and points list i had form last time- it was all a calculator thingy.
Now it just seems so hard to work out how much i havhe eaten when on the fly tbh.

Poor bf. Look, try not to concentrate too much on the food aspect at the moment. What you need to do, starting from today, is take more exercise. Walk briskly to the shops, walk up and down the stairs ten times, raise your hands above your head, you know the sort of thing. Do something small, regularly. Try and get yourself out of breath at least twice a day.

With sufficient exercise, the baggy skin you're afraid of won't happen (or at least it won't be as bad as you imagine).

Drink more water, and please don't deny yourself food that you like. If you concentrate on the exercise, your appetite will adjust accordingly ... without having to go through all the hoops that modern dieting entails.

You have to start somewhere with this. So start today. As you say, if diabetes runs in the family, then you need to get a grip.

I understand where you are coming from.

I was at a supermarket this morning stood next to a bendy sign and I looked really slim and attractive. Then, I moved and saw the really blimp that is me. I have about 10stone to lose.

ok so now you have had a moan about it get up and do something about it! i know its hard and 4.5stone is a lot of weight to shift but if you do it in 7lb stages in wont seem such a hard task

they are starting a new way of membership which you can do by direct debit and it gives you access to the online resource so you could keep track online if you preferred. You have done it before so you know you can do it now. Just visualize how good you will feel when you say no to chocolate and snacking for just one day. do it for just one day and see how empowered it makes you feel. It took you years to get fat and you will just get fatter, more unhealthy and you may even die early. Just do one day and see how bad it is. I suspect that you feel a bit out of control I know I did and now I feel soooo much better about myself and I haven't even lost that much weight but I am hapier because I am trying iyswim. I am investing in my future, my health, my happiness. I am taking responsibility and all it involves is thinking before I eat.
Go on, you know you can do it, you know it feels fantastic. Just keep on trying xx

ok you have to put yourself first

change everyone to a healthier diet

cut out any food for yourself which isn't actually good for you

it will take a while but start gradually and don't be despondent..I was I know how it is

it will work..don't believe it's too late

I weighed 14st 4 and I'm 5 foot 4 like you

I started my healthy lifestyle last novemeber and I've got to 11 st 7 now

I feel much better (except dp left me a month ago buit I've been even more determined not to let that undermine me)

Poor you, I do empathise, I need to lose weight too and it seems like such an uphill struggle. DH and I did @Body for Life@ 18 months ago and both got slimmer and fitter -I know that you mean about the thin sex - feels very different doesn't it! Anyway sadly we are both back to square one now, the past year has brought us many changes and diet and exercise has been bottom of our list so I now have an entire wardrobe of clothes I cannot wear.

Anyway, if you are feeling tired and overwhelmed then perhaps trying to find the energy to lose all the weight as well is a bit overwhelming. Can you maybe break it down into little goals, instead of focusing on the whole 4 and a half stone? So maybe focus your efforts first on improving your diet, more fruit and veggies, more water, healthier snacks, swap white pasta for wholemeal, that kind of thing. Maybe some vitamins and supplements to help you feel less tired - Floradix is great, also B vitamins give you energy. If you find you can improve your energy levels through good food then maybe you can build in a little exercise, some walking or an exercise video. And so on. Over a period of months, not weeks. Baby steps. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. I don't think you can do much about the baggy skin but good nutrition will help to some extent. Can you get anyone to trade babysitting time with you so you can go for a walk or a swim or just get a break from the kids? Will DH help so maybe you could make some time in the evenings to do something just for you? It sounds like you have let yourself and your own personal needs slip to the bottom of the hierarchy - no wonder you are feeling low.

You have done it before though, so you know it is possible. I agree with the suggestion re. weightwatchers if only for the moral support. And of course there is this board, I am sure many of us are in the same boat and rooting for you.

Good luck!

Oh Radley, that is alot- i suppose we need to break it down inot smaller bits.

Thats desirata- am currently tucked up in bed struggling massively with a temp and a cold so no excercise for me today.

I went through a stage where i used to dance with the kids for 10mins a coule of times a day, maybe we should start that again when i am better.

It took so much of my time and energy last time, prekids. It was worth it, but a major hobby and now i just donw't feel i have the time.
I dn't work during the week but have the kids with me all the time just now. Ds1 will go to reception in sept, but only parttime and ds2 will go to playgroup 3 sessions a week. I don't think i will get alot of me time for quite a while.

And we have recently moved house which is a hell of alot of work to get it up to scrath bit by biot. Just spent all my free time for 2 weekends plating flowers and weeding the garden... is looking better now thought

come and talk on the BogMoFo's we all have weight issues - I have about 8 st to lose, others have more or less but we all have to deal with the attached baggage of a weight problem.

(I'm also 42!)

We are co-incidentally very nice...

diabetes riuns in my family too..mum, auntie grandma great auntie etc

and my brother had major heart surgery three years ago (the age i am now)

exercise is really good and don't expect quick results...the slower the less loose skin I'm sure

Sorry you're not well today, bf. Well, when you're up on your feet .... get back into some sort of routine.

We all know, with various troubles, that the first place to start is in your head. Imagine how you want to look, and start putting simple strategies in place.

You know it won't be an overnight thing, that's true for everyone, but a little weight loss every week or month will give you the impetus to keep going.

i just want to be thin and eat chocolate.

kids have a great diet, chickpeas, fruit and veg... my downfall is bread. on the diet last time we cut out bread but i struggle soetimes to cut it out oft he kids' diet- cheese on toast is a fave for them. THey eat fruit and veg at every measl and are very good really.
but past pesto and cheese on toast and chickpea curry are all good for them- but full fat all the way as the are still very little.

i hate eating differently from them- bad message IMO, but not so good for my waitline

Hi, sorry you are going through this. I am a fizzled-out weight watcher too. But my weight-watching got back on track when I joined online. The calculators are really piles better than my haphazard addings up and jottings. I found it frankly impossible to get to any of the meetings as well, due to a heavy diary. See if that works better for you.

Hi I can tell how unhappy you are about this,and would just like to offer some support.
Sometimes the big picture is completely overwhelming,and I suggest setting yourself small achievable goals and rewarding yourself frequently.
Give yourself a gift everyday and by this I mean something to make you feel good about yourself, even if it's just painting your toes.
I know how impossible everything seems at the moment but if you do nothing then nothing will get better.

What sort of food do you enjoy?

If it is crisps then look for the lowest points crisps & incorporate them into your daily diet. That way you don't do without & feel deprived.

If you like pasta & rice, potatoes etc then slimming world might be a good weight loss plan for you. It might be all it takes, a diferent eating plan. Once our mind gets used to the way a certain diet works, we find it easy to kid ourselves that we just had certain foods that day... easy to leave out the 2 chocolate biccies we had whilst waiting for the kettle to boil etc.....

What you have to do first & foremost, is be honest with yourself. Do you really need all the sandwiches? And the two teas? No, but it's a habit you have got into & need to break.

I know you said you don't have time to diet & make time for food with your 2 children, but you have... just make them healthy food too! Add some nutritious things to the children's tea that you don't need & they won't miss out on essential fats.

you can have curry

don't fry use water and have salad instead of rice with it yourself

grate cheese for cheese on toast..or have cheesy pitta bread as it is better for gi

oh, you are all lovely.
kewcumber, ui may take a look when i feel better, thanks.

one thing i do is sit on my fat bum and mn in the eve when i could be excercising- but i am just so tired

or join us BigMoFo's!!!

I promise we lovely and are slowly losing weight together and are a great support to each other. Having a lot to lose is very different to having a stone and you need the support of people who understand. I've lost about 2.5 stone so far but see it as a lifetime change. Yes it gets me down sometimes and a lifetime or being careful is miserable in one way but less miserable than having diabetes when you've have to be careful anyway and have apile of health complications on top.

I found the tiredness a real problem to start with...can you get up early and walk at the start of the day

of course once the weight starts coming off you have more energy

I found it desperate the first few months until it started to pay off

give yourself a year and work out goals and otherwise just determination..get your dh to do it too

for me i had to be really strict but didn't follow a diet or join anything..except the council gym through the gp at first

had should be have as I haven't got there yet

I do something called the 30min workout,no men no mirrors,no one poncing around in pink lycra,you work at your own pace, ANYONE can do it and it only takes half an hour.
I go 3 times a week and my energy levels have really improved.
Any exercise will make you feel better though even if it's just a brisk walk around the block.

I have sturggled with weight all my life so know how you feel. I have lost and gained weight too many times to count (big numbers too - almost 100 pounds once). I have recently started again on WW.

I realised that I needed to do something that fit with the lifestyle of having children. Because I cook all our meals fresh anyway and we don't eat junk food, the WW core plan works for me. We all eat the same food together at dinner (all things allowable on the core plan - no points counting). As breakfast is generally rushed and we don't all eat together, I don't find it matters if I eat different food. But I eat cereal anyway which is not so different.

Lunch is different for all of us as little one often eats at nursery, dh eats at work and me and older child eat different.

As for exercise, I long ago realised there was no point it saying I will, as I won't. What I am doing instead is walking everywhere I go with the kids. I live in central london so I just stopped taking the bus for short jourenys and walk instead. LIttle one goes in pushchair (which means more workout for me pushing it) and big one walks.

The way I see things now, I can see doing it long term as it fits well with our life. I think you need something that will fit with YOUR life.

Hi there - I do feel for you, I've lost 3.5 stone in hte last 18 months or so, and have another stone to lose - although frankly at this stage I'm struggling to think it matters anymore as it already feels so different to how I felt before.......

I've only got a couple of suggestions... and I don't always follow them myself but anyway -

1 - You mention taking two free weekends to do the garden. That's lovely, and I'm sure you get a lift from seeing it done, but don't you and your family benefit from you taking a couple of hours out of your weekend to do something just for yourself too? I've been a bit selfish these last few months, but in fact everyone has benefited. Who am I kidding, I still feel bad if I go out for a walk by myself, or go off and have a bath, but actually I have much more energy in the end for everyone else.

2 - Paul McKenna or similar. I know, some will scoff, but for me it made a huge difference to my motivation. To begin with I was just in it for the 30 minutes peace and quiet (which involved sleep usually) as I listened to the CD, but it did make me make better choices and there is an interesting idea in his (very short) book for putting yourself off a particular food. If your thing is one or two particular weaknesses, youi might find it helpful to be put off them, at least for a while........

3 - the functional exercise - what you're doing now - keep making it a part of everything you do.

4 - "Investing" in 3-4 personal trainer sessions. If you're paying someone else to be there, your DH will make sure he's home, your kids will be ill with him in charge of them (i'm sure he'll cope!), and you will get out of the house for an hour a week for a month. You will feel inspired if you have the right trainer, and the right person will not mind in the least if you just plan to see them once a month, or once every two months.

5 - Sleep. TBH I started by making sure that I got as much sleep as I possibly could, and I felt more like being good. I seroiusly think that long term sleep deprivation has a lot to do with it.

6 - if you've got to eat bread (and don't we all), make sure you've got something with seeds and thigns in it, and that you've got some protein on it - pbutter is my favourite, it's really filling, but cheese would do. If I eat toast and honey, jam etc., I can eat half a loaf and still be hungry.

Enough, I really hope you're feeling better soon!