Obesity

[Ricky44]

Name changed for this as it’s outing.

My Mum has a friend who is morbidly obese. She was diagnosed as type 2 diabetes a good few years ago but she doesn’t lose weight, even though she has been advised to do so. She is now too large to move and is in a wheelchair. She has just been told she may have to have her foot amputated.

She told me that she doesn’t believe that her obesity is caused by overeating, it must be caused by something else. She has been tested for various things as she has been under specialist care for a number of years but thinks the NHS must have missed something. I hadn’t seen her for a year or so, until the weekend, and was quite shocked when I saw her.

I’m wondering if it’s a food addiction or something else? I used to smoke but quit 6 years ago so I do have some understanding of addiction. I’m also aware that you can go cold turkey when you quit smoking but you can’t do that with food - I know that if I smoked 1 cig I could well smoke the whole packet. So how do you give up over eating when everyone still has to eat something.

I quit smoking when I got a cough that I couldn’t shift and I worried that I’d done some permanent damage (I may well have done and it might not be obvious for a few years but I’m hoping I quit in time).

My BMI crept up to 25 a month ago so I’ve been on a diet, I need to lose about a stone to get back down to a healthier weight, ive lost about 3 lbs so nothing major but it’s going in the right direction and I am trying to stop myself from becoming obese in the future.

This isn’t meant to be provocative, I’m just trying to understand how someone could get into this state without trying to do something about it?

I’m wondering if it’s a food addiction or something else?

Well, let’s start by saying that it would be surprising to find that she wasn’t eating more calories than she uses (because some people still talk about “heavy bones”). Then there’s the possibility of something like underlying depression, or susceptibility to food marketing, or lack of education around healthy and tasty food. Or burying her head in the sand about her diabetes.

It can be complicated. I’m generally a “personal responsibility” sort, extenuating circumstances aside - no you can’t quit food cold turkey but actually you can quit chocolate/second helpings/Coke/doughnuts/fried chicken/whatever cold turkey.

I don't think we should be altering our expectations at all.
Obesity can lead to massive health issues which cost a fortune to treat.
We shouldn't be complacent or enable ill health.

As of today I’ve lost 4stone 1lbs. I’m now a size 12 and will maintain once a size 10. I didn’t have an eating addiction. I knew I was eating crap but I didn’t care. 3 members of my family died last year from overweight related illnesses (so entirely preventable) and that scared me into changing my ways

@prisonbreak

A health scare frightened me into quitting smoking. So I get that.

Well done on your weight loss.

@Itsjustafly

Well done on your weight loss. Giving up smoking was also hard and also boring. Some people quit and some people don’t manage / don’t want to. I think you have to have something to care about to make you want to live a healthier life.

@Prisonbreak , you would be the type of example that AA would use about people finding their own low point that made them change their ways.
I said earlier about people needing motivation and it's sad that some people don't find any.
Sorry about your family losses and kudos for doing so well.

@Ihopeyourcakeisshit

Just been looking at some stats. 60% of adult females are either overweight or obese. I appreciate not all of those are as extreme as my mums friend. Like you say, being a bit overweight is now normal.

I disagree with you a bit though. Make it tougher and more expensive to buy crap food that’s full of fat and sugar.

Whoever said fatshaming is almost a criminal offence is having a laugh. It's completely acceptable and widespread. I'm fat. Before I was fat I smoked 30 a day and drank loads of booze. I was thin but I'm pretty sure I was less healthy than I am now and my affliction certainly affects people around me less. I'm slowly realising that I put things in my mouth to try to fill a gap childhood trauma left me with. I'm Not going to say exactly what because I don't owe anyone an explanation but over eating is more or less always the result of some emotional upset - as is most self destructive behaviour. Treating the result of that behaviour i.e obesity as disgusting is even less helpful than doing the same with smoking etc because it takes a long time to not be obese once you are and you wear it all the time. And hating yourself is never a way to tackle self destructive behaviour.

I sometimes watch My 600lb Life on TV. It is certainly an eye opener.
Obviously most people need to lose weight of their own accord, not to be small enough for surgery though.

I got to 20 stone binge eating when my dad died (from normal weight of 10.5 stone), I did notice the weight going on but I didn't care... the feel good feeling from fatty carby food stopping me feeling sad, was more important than not being slim anymore. I think we're all aware of weight going on, just like we're all aware how many calories are in a Mcdonalds or a cake.. we just don't care. Then sometimes if you're lucky you get to a mentally healthier place where you can say you're ready to tackle it and do.
It's hard and complex.. a combination of so much lush food available cheap and stress/anxiety/grief/mental health problems/hard work days/hard day with the kids plus normalisation of obesity etc... deadly combo.

@simkin

I get that. I comfort smoked (something that is hard for those that have never smoked to get their heads around).

The main reason that I didn’t pile in the pounds when I quit was because one of my distraction methods was to go to the gym, a lot.

There are a lot of similarities aren’t there, we’re all trying to fill a gap somehow - whether it’s drinking, eating, gambling, smoking, shopping. I replaced smoking with obsessive gym going. That “gap” is a loose term - generally means we’re all trying to fix some damage that has been done to us.

I'm going to disagree with you all the way about taxing crap food Ricky
From a purely selfish point of view I don't want to have to pay an inflated price for an occasional doughnut because some people eat 4 at a time.
I'm already irked that it's difficult to find drinks now that don't have artificial sweetners in because of the sugar levy.
Cigarettes are extortionate but people smoke.
We need to take more personal responsibility and help should be made available to those who are serious about changing their eating habits.
Too many people play at weight loss and I'm often agog at what people eat.I hate some of the low carb stuff I read about.
600 calories eaten in pepperoni sticks, yes that's nutritious, healthy and sustainable isn't it.

i think there should be more focus in schools on teaching about the importance of good nutrition, how to cook low cost healthy meals and things like PE should be a more regular class throughout the week.

The normalisation of obesity is a concern. I don’t look fat (especially when I’m wearing secret spanx😂).

I would look a bit chubby next to an average woman in the 60s and 70s but in 2019 I’m slimmer than 60% of the population as I’m not quite overweight.

Going to do the 2 week body blitz and see if I can lose 1/2 a stone.

I quit smoking too. I did put on weight and its been a battle ever since to lose it and keep it off.

@Simkin it was me who said about the fat shaming.
I think perhaps there needs to be a different term. I don't for one minute think it's acceptable for someone to be called a fat cow while walking down the street for example.
(I could be wrong but I'd bet most of the name calling would be fine by the type of wanky bloke who'd shout get your tits out to some body else) Anyway, what I mean is that the way obesity is being normalised is a dangerous road, telling someone they are 'curvy' when in reality they are far is not doing anyone any favours.
The idea that as a society we should be accommodating people's obesity rather than addressing it is an idea I find abhorrent to be honest.

(Fat) shaming people into losing weight is never going to work though. All that happens is people feel worse about themselves, self esteem is lowered further and then turn to more food for comfort.

We live in a society where fat people are not accepted. There is a lot of comments on here about we shouldn't be normalising obesity etc. But I don't see acceptance of a fat person is accepting that it's a healthy way to live. Why not try an alternative attitude to accepting people for who they are, help build their self worth and you never know, people may start feeling better about themselves and want to start making some changes for themselves. Fat shaming is clearly not working so far.

I do also wonder what PP attitudes are towards anorexia compared to obesity. With obesity it's easy to say the answer is 'just eat less and move more' and not acknowledge that for most overweight people it's not that easy to achieve.

With anorexia, quite simply they need to eat more!! But people die from it. Why is that? Because when you have disordered eating resulting in anorexia OR obesity, it can be a very complex issue.

But people are more empathetic and understanding towards anorexia.

@Ihopeyourcakeisshit

I have noticed some Obesity causes cancer too posters going up around my city. They look like the old anti smoking ones.

Public health campaigns. Help where it’s needed - especially for obese parents with fat kids. Diet & exercise education at school. Only 1 fried chicken shop allowed in every 5m sq and not near schools.

We’re going to have to agree to disagree on the extra tax on fat and sugary foods😁

If she is now in a wheelchair she’s definitely not burning a lot of calories except by her size (that burns a bigger amount than a slimmer person). But I bet she’s not buying that food - her partner is. When you see those bed bound people still eating far too much it’s their family that’s giving them the food.
The thing is unless you strap her down you can’t stop her eating. She’s got to decide to do it. Despite the health warnings she hasn’t acknowledged her problem. She needs counselling before it’s too late. Her problem is deeper than the food she eats.

My last post auto corrected completely wrong.It was meant to say the name calling would be by the same type of bloke....
Ricky where are we going wrong with health campaigns it's nothing new, we've had 5 a day and all that kind of thing.
Somehow it's not going in, we have to be honest generally speaking most people will find a bit of fried chicken more appetizing than a carrot.
We have to be stressing moderation imo.
We could have all the campaigns in the world but some people just do not care.
People's view of nutrition is Batshit sometimes ( see my earlier post about peperami)
I don't know what the answer is?

I saw a documentary a few years ago.

Obese mum taking fat kids to dental hospital to have their teeth taken out. They were decaying due to the amount of sugar in their diet.

Should someone have stepped in? It’s neglect isn’t it? Maybe neglect due to the mother’s lack of knowledge rather than anything deliberate. Those children’s long term health outcomes are not good due to what their mother has been feeding them.

@Ihopeyourcakeisshit

Do you ever drink? We pay sin tax on alcohol due to the problems people who drink to excess cause. Why not with sugar and fat too?

The reason I’m suggesting higher taxes on fat and sugar is because then obese people are paying me towards their healthcare (via the extra tax) just like drinkers and smokers do.

It is highly likely she has an eating disorder like binge eating. I have had a difficult relationship with food my whole life, from heavily restricting in early teens to full blown bulimia later teens and 20s to now being obese due to binge eating.

Obesity is complex, and telling someone morbidly obese to just go on a diet is a waste of time. It takes a structured approach of diet, learning new eating behaviours, activity but most importantly psychological support to work out what is going on and hopefully get to the root cause. Unfortunately that support doesn't exist in many places.

It is likely meds will have played a part. A lot of the meds for type 2 cause more insulin to be secreted or directly injected. Insulin causes weight gain.

Add the fact that once you are obese the bodies set point has changed so it will do anything to cling onto the weight.

People who are morbidly obese need to be treated with care and compassion instead of blamed.