Please can I have a hand hold

[Leafy2018]

My husband has just shown me something on his penis which really doesn't look good. Under the foreskin below head of the penis a blackish reddish patch that has bled slightly and has some white grey discharge around it. A google points in the direction of penile cancer. He is otherwise fit and well but did go for a scan last night to check slight pain and pressure he had on rib cage but it showed nothing (the suspected gallstones.)

I am terrified. He is of course seeing the doctor today ASAP. He has asked me not to tell my Mum because he is embarrassed. I would normally share it with her but actually feel I can't as she has just lost her friend to cancer.

Please can you just hold my hand - I just need to put it out there. We have 3 children - youngest is 5 months. My husband is a wonderful man and I love him so much, Thank you for listening if you've got this far!

Here's my hand. Try not to speculate. Do not google. Take one step at a time. Know that most cancers are treatable and survival rates are much higher than you think. And, based on another thread running this morning, be assured that, as a man, he will be investigated and treated better than a woman!! xx

Thank you so much, @ArgyMargy (I love your username). Really appreciate you taking the time to reply - will try to follow advice.

Have another handhold, DH was diagnosed with prostate cancer 4 weeks ago and I have been very impressed with how quickly they are dealing with it, they booked in a date for surgery there and then, and it would have been sooner if it weren’t for a holiday we have booked. He’s been allocated a nurse to email any worries to and the care has been superb.

It’s scary, but as pp said most are treatable and just one step at a time. It could be something easy.

@ArgyMargy do you have a link to that thread I’ve suspected as much as DH care has been incredible so far.

It is good that he is seeing the GP ASAP. As far as I know the main issue with penile cancer is that men don't seek help early as they are embarrassed.

Hand hold for you OP, I hope he is seen quickly and he gets the diagnosis and treatment he needs.

@billybagpuss I can't link from my iPad but it's in AIBU under "To think women's health issues aren't taken seriously"

(Sorry for slight derail, OP)

Here is my hand

Firstly, your instincts about cancer may or may not be correct. Until you know, there’s little sense in speculating. You have informed yourself with research now, so there’s little to be gained by more googling (although I know I wouldn’t be able to stop myself, pot-kettle-black).

If you’re right and it is cancer, I know how scary that sounds but it truly isn’t the end of the world. We are all programmed now to believe that cancer is the worst possible thing, and fear it above all else. The truth is, much cancer is very, very treatable. Outcomes are better now than they have ever been, for all kinds of cancers. The marketing around cancer and ‘the big C’ makes it this larger-than-life, fear-filled grim-reaper based thing. It isn’t. It doesn’t have to be.

If he is unwell, he will have treatment, just like any other illness. The treatment he has will be the best in the world. And he has a fantastic spouse supporting him. The odds aren’t looking pretty favourable already, aren’t they?

He’s doing the right thing being seen quickly. I assume he hasn’t been letting it develop for months (and you would have noticed anyway if he had!!) You’re both doing the absolute right things.

Don’t panic until you know. And when you know, panic briefly and then get to work.
Your love for one another is invaluable x

Here's my hand too. Don't let Dr Google cloud your minds, let DH's real doctor do the tests he needs to do. Sending smiles and positivity for today ❤

In huge rush now as late to leave for school run (just moved house to complete chaos) - but THANK YOU. So grateful for words of wisdom and kindness. X

She has appointment at 4pm so will update later.

Good luck, try not to spend the day stressing because unless the doctor can just say don’t panic have some cream which I have fingers massively crossed for you that it is, you’re in for at least a few weeks of swabs blood tests and waiting for results. 💐

Thanks @billybagpuss. Glad to hear your dog is receiving excellent care.

Dh, not dog! For goodness sake!

Hi all,

Dh went to the doctors and she thinks it is a cut that isn't healing because of where it is (ie no air) so he has a cream and we'll see what happens. She said she didn't think it looked indicative (in - dick - ative?!) of any disease. I am relieved of course but will reserve my full relief for when the cream works.

I cannot tell you how grateful I am for help and advice this morning. I will update penis watch in case anyone feels invested enough to read it in a couple of days!

@billybagpuss Hope your husband continues to receive good care and things are back to normal soon x

Yesss that’s great news and loving the name penis watch 😂

Great news!