painkiller addiction, im ashamed of myself, i need help

[ashamedofme]

hi i am a regular but ive had to name change.

i had an operation years ago and was given painkillers at the time. (co-dydromol) since then ive been taking any strong painkiller i can find. i dont know exactly why i take them but they make me feel slightly lightheaded and i like this feeling. i did stop taking them while i was pregnant without trouble so i really thought i didnt have a problem.

Over the last few months i have found one type that are strong and i can buy over the counter and i have been taking these. ive now started to feel lethargic in the mornings and ive been sick quite a lot. in the last couple of weeks ive tried to stop taking them but by the end of the day i get stomach cramps, i sweat, feel sick and have a massive headache. the only thing that stops these symptoms is taking the painkillers. so now i know i have a serious problem (i even have to go to different chemists to get them) the trouble is if i go to my GP and admit it, what will happen? will they take my baby away? i feel really stupid for getting myself into this situation and dont know if ive done long term damage to myself. does anyone know if i can stop myself by reducing slow or to suffer the cramps and go 'cold turkey' any advice please?

i have most of the symptoms you describe after just a day! its going to be tough isnt it?

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A good suggestion of Kerry's to go to a drug service (for advise on a reduction plan) - you can go anonymously maybe or you can go to one in a different area if you are worried about being seen near where you live. You need to give your true identity if you are wanting prescriptions but since you won't be needing any, it should in theory be ok to remain anonymous.

advice

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you will probably get withdrawls taking half, try 3/4 first, take it slow, dont rush yourself.
Although I do think you should go dr or NA first, but obviously its whatever you are comforatable with.

i havn't cut down at all. i was trying to just see if i can start taking them later and later iyswim? ive just taken some i started to get the headache so i know now im off again for the day i will have to take more now as the day goes on.

mellowma, when I was a student nurse i used to chat to a woman who came in for methadone script with her baby. She was on a tiny dose having come off gradually during her pregnancy. She looked really healthy but was so unhappy. Her partner wasn't an addict but he was v controlling and I think he used to put her down a lot. It must be a lot harder to come off substances without good support.

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how's it going ashamedofme?