Health anxiety

[anxietyoverdrive]

I'm not sure where to post this so hopefully this is the right place. I have never met my dad and don't really know anything about him apart from his name and therefore I have no health information or genetic history from that side of the family. I have thought regularly about this over the years and have been terrified of carrying a cancer gene or condition I have no idea about. Now I am pregnant with my first baby and my anxiety is going into overdrive, I could be a carrier of anything and I don't know. Do I need to talk to the midwife about this? Should I request any tests? I've considered speaking to my mum about this and trying to find out some information but I don't want to upset her. Should I try and track him down on Facebook? Just to be clear I have no interest in a relationship with him it would be purely for medical history.

Anyone?

My son has a medical condition with his eyes that came from his dad's side. His dad didn't want to know. So I basically just had to get on with things.
Unfortunately in life you cannot know everything. These things you just have to accept and most only come to light once the child is here anyway.
I would speak to your midwife/GP as your issue is your anxiety.
As an anxiety sufferer myself, always stemming from an illness that i convince myself is serious as I am not told otherwise, i know how crippling it can be.
Have you have a life of poor health that you can't get to the bottom of?
Try and relax. It's no good to you or your baby

I have had perfect health pretty much all of my life, nothing medically wrong with me it's just this anxiety that one day I will develop an hereditary condition I had no idea about. Now I'm worried my baby will have a genetic condition. Is it important to know how your fathers medical history? In my baby's case it would be his grandfathers. I don't know I just feel a bit in the dark.

Hi there, congratulations on your pregnancy.
Yes I can totally understand your anxiety here but it’s about keeping that anxiety in perspective. For those of us with health anxiety “perspective” can be very skewed.
I’ve had health anxiety most of my life but it’s now pretty much under control with the use of CBT. So I know how my thoughts cause fears which in turn can cause symptoms which causes more fears etc etc. Most of the time I am very rational but when anxiety bites I get that irrational voice in my head which can be very loud.

Keep in mind that most of us will fear unexpected health issues...even when we know our history.

Definitely speak to your midwife if you can, most midwifery services now have mental health support (or should) which you can access.

Secondly it’s worth looking up a forum called No More Panic which has a good and dedicated Health Anxiety board with some very supportive members. That forum has kept me sane at times.

I don't know anything about my sons dad's side of the family. We were in a relationship for years but I never really discussed health with him. The day I found out about my sons eyes and his dad was asked to come to the hospital and refused, it was one of the scariest days of my life because of the unknown. I just had to work with the medical staff without his input and everything worked out.
I take each day as it comes. You don't want to pass your worry on to your baby.
I also wasn't aware that you could have hereditary tests done unless there is a known reason for it.
I personally wouldnt involve him. He hasn't been in your life and it will reopen that door

That's what I'm worried about if I contract him to try and find out, opening a whole can of worms that I don't need right now. I don't even know if he knows I exist tbh.

My cousin was adopted and wondered too when pregnant but couldn’t do anything about it. You already are pregnant so would knowing change anything? Just what terrible thing do you think it could be? It is far more likely there’s nothing wrong. If your mother knew she probably would have told you already.

I suppose I'm worried about conditions such as congenital heart defects. You're right there's nothing I can do now but I don't think I'll rest until my 20 week scan and even then there's things that can't be picked up until the child is born.

At my 20 week scan I was reffered straight to another unit for a specialist scan. I don't recall what it was called but I was told the scan was to be done on my unborn child's heart.
I'm not going to lie, it's dead scary, but you just get on with it and deal with it. My sons heart turned out to be fine when scanned but the worry of the referral wasn't nice.

As a PP has said, would anything change if you found out potentially there are any problems? It's something beyond our control. There is no way of knowing what will happen so you can't worry yourself like this.

Pregnancy and parenthood are scary. Don't make it worse for yourself.

As a single mom to a little boy who has been in and out of hospital regularly during his life you find the strength somewhere and just do everything in your power to be there for your child and get them better. I've never once questioned how he has the problems he does. I just deal with the now