Please help me avoid being fobbed off by GP

[hipposarerad]

Hello, any advice on my issue gratefully received.

I'm seeing the GP on Friday to request gallbladder removal (scan has confirmed and the ball left in my court) but whilst I'm there I want to tack another issue on to my appointment.

Symptoms (which I've talked to various GPs about over the last few years):

Foggy brain
Feeling dizzy and a bit like I'm under the influence of something, often lose an afternoon to having to have a lie down. This usually happens twice per month (during PMS week and mid-cycle)
Fluttery chest (palpitations?)
Slightly laboured breathing (but I smoke so I might not bother to mention that)

Recent symptoms:
PMS so bad I've fantasised about walking in front of a bus or walking out the door never to return - not this bad every single month, but very often. This lifts the day period arrives and I go back to being just my normal level of depression (I'm not going to waste time talking about mental health - I have a really shit life, so I expect to feel permanently pissed off, nothing the doc can do for me there)
Night sweats (often but not every night)
Periods arriving 2-4 days early
Generally being weak & feeble, especially in the hands (aching and cramping when trying to rub in pastry for example).

There is family history of arthritis, Hashimoto's thyroid and anaemia.
I'm 42 and women in my family don't tend to start getting menopause symptoms until early 50s (although my mum had no symptoms at all, just stopped having periods at 53 the lucky thing).

On the many occasions I've seen GPs about the first bunch of symptoms, I mention the anaemia and thyroid histories and get sent for a blood test. A week later I'll call the surgery for the results to be told: "everything is in the normal range so NFA" and so I just carry on bumbling through it all.

How can I avoid being told "as a woman, at your age, what do you expect?" I'm a parent carer to a complex kid who can be aggressive and very challenging - I need to be stronger and not take to my bed because I'm having one of my 'funny turns'.

Thanks for reading, if anyone cange bothered to share their thoughts I'd really appreciate it.

Definitely sounds like perimenopause. I had my first symptoms at 42 very similar to what you describe, full on meno at 48. My mum was pregnant at 42, her mum had her at 45, so doesn't always follow genetically.

If you have 2 issues to discuss (gallbag and the other problems) it’s probably better to book 2 appointments/double slot so your GP actually has time to address both properly.

Thanks for the reply but oh balls! I'm not mentally ready to get cobwebs yet .

I just found out the GP I'm seeing is of the "you're a woman, suck it up" type too. Bigger.

I'd like to book 2 appointments but my surgery seem to book a month in advance. I'm going to crowbar it in if I can. Gallbladder is confirmed as going over to the dark side already so hopefully she won't mind.... maybe.

I meant bugger not bigger obv

You need to see the actual blood tests results, the actual numbers. I had all these symptoms when my perimenopausal periods turned torrential, and I was anaemic. The numbers were "within normal range" still, but right at the bottom of normal, and I felt horrific.

The dizziness was the most unsettling part, I worried I was going to stumble off pavements and fall under a bus!

It took me ages of moaning to the GP to be given a prescription for iron tablets, and they sorted me out straight away. I found a young female GP was far more understanding and helpful than my normal, older male, GP.

Are you on any hormonal contraception?

Oh also, I'm taking Menopace vitamins (they're on Amazon; read the reviews) and that's really stopped me feeling so down and needing a pee at 3am every night!

I also had a Mirena cool fitted to sort my periods out. That's helped me a LOT.

Good luck, OP. I've felt like you do now and it's really debilitating, so you have all my sympathy.

(For reference, my Ferratin level got down to about 35, I think, when I was feeling at my very worst.)

Is your hair thinning/falling out? I also had that when my iron was low.

I will ask for the blood test printout when I'm inevitably sent off for one.

I'm not on any hormonal contraception - I had to try several brands of pill years ago because a lot of them send me a bit doolally. on

My hair is thinning at the temples but my periods are medium to light flow and only last 3-4 days.

And thanks all for taking the time to reply x

Start taking 100% recommended amount of magnesium and iron every day. That might help with the palpitations, energy and muscle aches (and fogginess). But its also likely you have hashimotos. Did they do antibody tests? Mostly they will just do a TSH test and then guess from there, you really need a antibody one to properly diagnose hashimotos. If you can afford it, go onto Medichecks and do the complete thyroid health blood test. You can then go to your GP with the results and they can treat, or repeat the tests to confirm and then treat. Dont let them do surgery without confirming if you are anaemic or not.

My doctor would not be at all helpful if I tried to shoehorn another issue into an appointment. Sometimes they are really blunt and say I need another appointment for that; sometimes they just don't have time to explore it so they're short and not particularly helpful.

I'd second getting another appointment and doing one thing at a time; so you maximise your chances of being taken seriously.

Ok re the two things one appointment issue: I'll have a go at mentioning it and see what she says - she's told me off before and I survived (I told her I thought my thyroid was going wrong and she said "I didn't ask for your diagnosis" ). I'm hoping she'll take pity on the fact that I've got a school age child who hardly goes to school, and have to cart him around with me pretty much everywhere. Up until I was hospitalised with my first gallstone attack in January I've got used to just not being able to see the doc.

What I mean is that I will try to make another appointment if I really have to.

A lot of those things would improve if you gave up smoking...

Duly noted re the smoking, thanks mum

I used to smoke like a factory chimney and never had any issues! Then I stopped and 2 years later everything went wrong. So... lol

At the appointment, why not do all the weird/anaemia/thyroid symptoms first, then quickly add the "Oh and yes, I'd like to go ahead with the gallbladder surgery, please - just to confirm" at the end. Or write it down and hand it over as a letter. I just feel you don't need to talk about that, but you do need to talk about your other symptoms.

Yes I think doing the weird symptoms first and then the gallbladder thing last is a good idea.

I had a phone consultation for the scan results but when I called to request the surgery I had to book an appointment. It does seem daft to have to actually turn up in person to say "you know that surgery I was offered? Well yes please I'll take it" which I could do as easily over the phone.

Oh and as for antibody test, I've no idea. The GP I'm seeing probably doesn't like to be told what to test for, so if I say "can I have an antibody test?" she'll be annoyed that I'm trying to tell her how to do her job!

Smoking can make you not uptake vitamins as well as you would normally
So might be an idea to supplement your basic vitamins, and get an extra hit of vitamin C as well from diet

Obviously, giving up smoking would help generally but if you are stressed, unhappy and unwell might be better to start there. It sounds like you could do with some support, how are your friendships? Family relationships? Also, is there any additional help you could get for your child?

Stress seems like enough of a reason to want to take to your bed every now and then. Are you sleeping enough at night? Are you getting chance to rest otherwise or do any recuperative activities (Reading, bathing, pamper etc.)

How much exercise and outdoor time are you getting? It sounds as though it's unlikely you are anaemic, but what about other minerals and vitamins?

You may find you feel much better following gall stone removal, also. And hormonal contraceptives May help your menopausal or peri menopausal symptoms. Some people are prescribed antidepressants for PMDD (bad PMT essentially).

DulcieRay your second paragraph has made me tear up a bit (awks in Gregg's) because I don't really have any support except for DP (in fact, I'd struggle to define the word 'support' in this context - I've no idea what 'support' even looks like).

I have a handful of friends but due to being generally withdrawn and having nothing to offer I've kind of neglected them (I have tentatively reached out to one and will try to organise a get together soon). My two besties are very understanding and they know that when I'm having a hard time I tend to drop off the radar, it's one of the reasons I love them so bloody much. Trouble is, this 'hard time' has been going on for years.

As for family support, DP's lot also have an autistic kid so they know how it is, but they don't like to babysit. My family only really interact with me when I'm inviting them over for a special occasion (not to toot my own horn but I do a good spread). But as for picking up the phone and saying "hey sis, why don't I have the boys for a sleepover so you two can go out"...? Nope, doesn't happen. Then again, I don't ask because I get the sense they're not very interested. Plus DS2 is tricky to manage in meltdown so I'm protecting him from judgement too I guess.

When it comes to grandparents, my poor boys have just DP's dad who is brilliant, but there's no getting away from the fact that he's 81 this year.

Additional help with DS2 is non existent or inaccessible. I think there are parent support groups but they're too far away and I only get about 1hr to myself all day (I'm one of those defective, non-driving bus wankers). I have no idea what a support group even is/what it does etc. I'd like to get DS2 into some clubs (he'd love something like gymnastics or trampolining but I need a place that understands his needs and behaviour challenges otherwise he'll just get kicked out - don't know of any that fit).

I do spend a fair bit of time outside walking (as it's my main mode of transport), and I'm trying to grow some veg so I potter about the garden often which is great for straightening the head out a bit.

So, TL:DR I do have a tad more stress than many other people, and I need to be strong enough to manage it because I'm basically on my own with it all.

I wonder if I just say I'm really not feeling myself and if I can have I have a very comprehensive blood test I might get somewhere.

@hipposarerad

I am also a bus wanker, but I love a support group. If I can't get to one IRL I try and find one online and there's always Mumsnet

Sounds positive you're out a lot and probably not vitamin D if you're getting lots of daylight. I would try taking a multivitamin and mineral and see if it helps. Probiotics and probiotic foods as well. But they don't tend to be a quick fix.

I think that we can underestimate the impact stress can have on us physically. I had to make lifestyle changes, ultimately, because I became quite disabled by the issues in my body and when I get stressed out these recur and I have to look at my life and physical health as related and holistic, not separate as the NHS often do.

Consider changing your GP, OP.

I have been dizzy and fatigued for months. Asked GP if it was menopause. He laughed at me and sent me to see a cardiologist and neurologist.

In the meantime, I switched my GP surgery. Unbeknownst to me the new surgery has a gynae/menopause expert GP.

I finally saw the neurologist who told me my problems were almost certainly due to the menopause. I then went to my new GP the next day, who agreed, and put me on HRT. Within 2 weeks I felt fantastic.

These replies are really helping me work this out, thanks for chipping in.

I think I'm going to say that although we already know about the gallbladder problem, can that lead to malabsorption of vits leading to feeling all sorts of weirdness (including cycle disruption)? And whether it explains all my symptoms, some or none I'd like my gallbladder out.

If I still don't get anywhere I'll ask to see one of the other GPs as we've just had a change of management and some new faces.