No vaccination, no visiting newborn

[WMPAGL]

Hi all,

I'm new here so learning the ropes.

I will soon have a newborn baby and am becoming increasingly concerned about the apparent number of people who have not been vaccinated and are choosing not to vaccinate their children.

I'm not looking for a fight about whether you should or shouldn't vaccinate - I know that everyone acts out of love and in what they think is the best interests of their child - but please take it as read that I am firmly in the vaccination camp.

What I am interested to know is whether other people have actively asked whether their visitors are up to date on vaccines before allowing them to come and meet their newborn (before the baby has been able to have all his or her own vaccinations)? If so, which ones in particular have you stipulated?

On the one hand it feels a bit dramatic to interrogate people and 'make a fuss' but on the other, I would never forgive myself if I put my child at unnecessary risk just because I might have to have a few awkward conversations with people.

I'm planning on having a good word with my doctor about this but am interested to know what other people have thought and done in this situation.

Thanks so much for your input.

Yep, I had that rule. No vaccinations, no visiting my baby until she was immunised. End of.

No, unless you are never going to leave the house your baby will be in contact with unvaccinated people.

I just presumed anyone coming was vaccinated. Honestly never thought about it. I'm due no. 2 next week and I honestly wish all the visitors would just fuck off but I won't be asking about the vaccinations.

No. Ridiculous rule. Unless you intend to keep your child inside for their first thee years they will come across unvaccinated people.

Unvaccinated people are just that btw. They are not carriers of a disease, they are not themselves diseased, so they pose no risk to your child.

Obviously if they have come into contact with someone with measles or one of the other diseases then you'd be reasonable. But as a blanket rule massively unreasonable.

I have a family of normal people so they were allowed to visit my baby. I don't allow myself to be friends with idiots so I never had that problem.

Nobody is BU to keep selfish, self-researching weirdos away from their child.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable at all. You’re trying to keep your tiny baby healthy, anyone who takes offence would be BU

By the way your parents won't have the full set of vaccinations so your rule would mean no grandparents seeing their grandchild for years...

I’m not sure I’m fully vaccinated. What with being quite aged.

I shan’t bother popping round.

No one born before 1968 then, and not many of those born before 1980.

I would never integrate adults or ask for the medical records but if I had a friend or family member who I knew purposefully hadn’t vaccinated their children (this is purely hypothetical because thankfully none of my family are that stupid and I wouldn’t be friends with an anti-vaxxer) then no, their unvaccinated child would not be allowed to see my baby.

I think its a fair enough rule if the non vaccinated are children and therefore likely to be mingling with other non vaxxed kids. Children are hot beds of all sorts of germs. Its much more likely those visitors will hold/get close to baby than a member of thr general public when out and about. Herd immunity is compromised in several places due to low vax rates and I think non vaxxing parents need to appreciate exactly what that decision means.

Seems reasonable to me, but never came up with DS as everyone we know who is likely to visit are 'normal'. If I new any anti-vaxers I would definitely have stayed away from them until after the 8, 12 & 16 week jabs. And been more wary if their kids are "a little under the weather" in case it turned out to be something more serious.

(Thought I would also be questioning why I was friends with them)

That would be unrealistic. You wouldn’t know if people had been vaccinated, they’re not 100% effective anyway, and as mentioned above older people wouldn’t have had today’s schedule either. You’re being silly.

have a family of normal people so they were allowed to visit my baby. I don't allow myself to be friends with idiots so I never had that problem

This! If, as it seems from the OP, there are a fair few people who would want to visit the baby that you know arent vaccinated, I would say so. Excepting older people who would not have had those jabs. Because A) pick your battles, and B) measles etc are typically childhood diseases so the risk is higher from younger people.

People who choose not to vaccinate their kids have no right to be offended if their children aren't wanted around in certain situations. It's just a consequence of the choice they made.

Why do people assume unvaccinated = has the disease?

Thanks for all opinions (quite a range, I can see!)

Honestly, this wouldn't even had crossed my mind a few years ago, I have just been so surprised at how relatively common anti-vax attitudes seem to have become recently.

As far as I know, none of my close friends or relatives are anti-vaccination so this is probably more a case of first-time-parent jitters than anything.

I do agree there is a risk in general in being out in the world with a newborn before vaccinations, but then I won't be inviting strangers to kiss and cuddle my baby(!), so I think it is a bit different.

I think the main issue has already been pointed out - if you leave the house with your baby, you’ll be exposing it to unvaccinated people and people carrying germs anyway....hard to avoid it really

I can see a few people wondering whether I know for a fact that some people who will want to visit aren't vaccinated, and the answer is no, I have absolutely no idea.

I have rarely discussed the issue (except with parents) because I just assumed (until recently) that of course they would be!

That is sort of the point of my question, I suppose - is it even worth bringing up the potentially awkward subject in order to find out.

I can appreciate that this may well be crazy over-worrying but it's good to get people's thoughts, so thanks.

Titchy - I certainly don't assume anyone unvaccinated will have the disease.

My understanding is that an unvaccinated person is far more likely to pick up the disease than a vaccinated one and, unfortunately, any infected person can be contagious before they start to show symptoms.

It's not as simple as it should be
I'm immune-compromised and probably will be for the rest of my life which makes me unsurprisingly aware of this stuff. I cannot have some vaccinations as they are live and pose a risk to me.
My kids have had the chicken pox vaccination because it's very serious for me and they are the most likely carriers that I am going to come in contact with but most people won't be.
My nephew is not vaccinated through his parents choice - this is extremely hard for me. I have met him and spent some time with him but it's minimal because as an under 5 that is unvaccinated who mixes with many unvaccinated kids (they have a lot of like minded friends and he goes to a Steiner school) he poses a risk to me.
If I thought too hard about all the risks the general population pose to me I wouldn't be able to function. Unvaccinated people don't wear badges, aren't always unvaccinated by choice, aren't always covered due to age and also aren't always truthful (my brother has definitely lied about this in certain situations where it would pose a problem)
Going out in public, to baby groups, GP - what will you do then?
Be aware, and if you want to do this by all means do, just understand that it's not a black and white situation.

its younger unvaxed children & young people really -most of us over (ahem) 50 (+) have probably had the infections anyway oe in the case of polio they may well have had polio salk & sabin (I think that was how they were spelt! ie injection & drops) -however while babe is very young I dont see why requesting people to think about coughs & colds & sore throats avoiding visiting - (measles etc start that way actually - & that's when most are infectious)

By the way I didn't kiss or cuddle anybody when I got TB I just got it from being in an area where it was prevalent in the population and I wasn't vaccinated

wonkylegs - thank you for this, and I agree with all the practical issues you mention.

I wish you all the best and hope you stay nice and healthy!

This sort of blows my mind to be honest. Do you genuinely think that an unvaccinated adult could be walking around with measles?

I presume you would know if your friends with young children were anti vaccine, however, I don’t know for a fact I’ve had all vaccines. How would i? My parents are sensible enough for me to think it’s very likely I received everything I should’ve but who knows?

Add to that, a large number of people in the vaccinated population aren’t immune to the diseases they have been vaccinated against because vacccines wear off/ don’t work.

mumone - yes, that's probably a far less awkward way of putting it to people! Thanks