panic attacks in 7 year olds?

[j20baby]

we've recently moved house,i am 6 months pg and a single mum- i've only just realised the full extect of the effect it has/is all having on my dd.

she has wet the bed a couple of times lately, which she has never done before, she is argumentatite, tearful, sensitive to others comments, says she's having a hard time at school, tells me she's too ill to go to school all the time and, just recently, she's started thinking up scenario's in her head and getting hysterical, the favourite atm being that she gets locked in a toilet and left to die there, i have tried reasoning with her but its just not working. i know she needs more of my attention and time, and i am going to try and make this happen but i am so busy trying to get the house organised and tired, that i don't know if i can help her properly.

do i need to take her to a doctor?
do i give in to her requests to stay up later just to be with me or let her sleep in my bed, or is this just counter-productive?

any advice please?

i meant argumentative!

Hi J20,

I wish I could offer you some great advice but all I can do is hope the steps I took when my ds was going through something similar will work.

I ignored the worries to an extent, i.e i didnt make a big thing about them. When he told me I would say "Oh now thats not a nice thing to think about" and then try to distract him with something else. At first this was heart breaking, BUT I realised although some was genuine he had learnt what to say and do to get my undivided attention.

I didn't let him sleep in my bed because of the worry/fear he had. I would let him sleep there because I wanted to spend a night watching tv with him, so we would go to bed at a stupid time and watch rubbish until he fell asleep....which isn't long if you find a boring film lol.

I also got him a dreamcatcher and told him this would take away all the night terrors. He was convinced by it and it worked come bed time.

When he was going to his own bed, I would allow him to watch a movie in there but i would pick it so I knew what it was and I would pick one he didn't enjoy the most as this seemed to bring on sleep quicker.

I guess what I did more than anything is have more time with him than I had been spending, I had spent 3 months visiting hospital where my dad was and DS learnt from this the only way to get my attention was to be more needy....sounds like DD is going through something similar....You are busy getting the house done for new babies arrival and she is feeling pushed out. You are HER mummy and i guess she wants you to know she still needs you. Hey my ds is almost 9 and since we found out i am having baby he has done silly things for my attention..

Hope this helps J20 and if you want to chat email me

Hi J20
As you know I'm not a mum yet so probably not qualified to answer, but I am 7 yrs older than my brother so was 14 when I remember my Mum being terribly upset about him when he was 7 he became very introverted and developed school phobia (to the point that he worked himself up into full blown asthma attacks every day on the walk to school). We think it all stemmed from him being ill at the start of his first school year and so hadnt learned to read easily (odd because he has a really high IQ) and fell behind the others in his class. She tried "special time" for him with just her and "extra special time" with her and Dad,which helped a little but eventually resorted to a child psychcologist..who said they had made a good start because the most important thing was the time and attention they were giving him but also recommended a tutor to help him catch up at school (he didnt respond to Mum trying to help teach him)and finding an activity that he could excell at that no one he knew was already doing to boost his self esteem;...in his case he ended up with two; they bought him a childs motocross bike and he did scrambling (his school friends were green with envy)and he did karate which taught him self dicipline as well as self defence... both seemed to empower him and build his confidence, he flourished under the tutor and started coming in the top 5 in his class for everything and his asthma and hysterics about going to school slowly abated. I suppose I should add that he is now a sucessful architectural technician,is the cad manager for a large firm and spends his free time racing his go-carts!...hope this gives you some ideas.

do you know what-you 2 are stars!!!

thank you for posting, i did think of a dream catcher and ended up using magic cream last night to take away the bad thoughts she was having, also she did start going to karate but i couldn't keep taking her as it was too expensive tbh and meant driving in rush hour although i will try to get her into something like dancing or cheerleading, its just finding somewhere that isn't too stressful to continue going.

i know i need to establish a proper routine and make her feel loved and special again, i am going to try and involve her sorting baby stuff out tommorrow and will see how she goes, thanks again you two