Should we have mum diagnosed?

[Pud2]

My mum is 85 and she lives in a care home. She chose to move in after my dad died last year. Since he died we’ve noticed her becoming more and more confused. Her memory is also poor, she gets very anxious and she’s lost her sense of time. We’re fairly sure she has dementia - dad had it so we recognise the symptoms.

We can’t decide whether to do anything about it. She gets very anxious about going to the doctor, and about a change in her medications so we feel it’s not worth putting her through that. She’s getting good care in the home. On the other hand, maybe there’s some treatments that may improve things for her if she does get a diagnosis. Is it worth it?

I have a close relative with dementia. She started showing symptoms much earlier than your mum at around the age of 62. She was diagnosed at 65 and is now 78 and in the end stages. Medication only slowed the whole, nasty, inevitable process down and if we knew what we do know I suspect we would have thought twice about medicating.

The only possible reason for getting a diagnosis may be for her future care - in case she requires nursing care and financial help or even help paying for her care in full. It maybe worth asking the advice of the care home manager, they will be able to advise whether it makes a difference I expect. Good luck.

Gosh Brownboots that is so young. How sad. Thank you for your thoughts. Really helpful.