Tinnitus - feeling v low. Advice, recommendations please

[Bcanda]

I seem to have developed tinnitus in my right ear 2 weeks ago - it was the day after a gig (but strangely only seemed to start late morning the following day, not straight afterwards). Went to doc who seems to think I have glue ear so am on antibiotics.
I asked about anti anxiety medication but doc wouldn't prescribe - would people recommend them to help cope better with anxiety which is undoubtedly making it worse?

I've just had worst night so far and am struggling to cope. I have 2 children (boy 6 who's autistic and 13 year old daughter) and a loving partner. I am not sure how I can cope with this long term and admit to having some dark thoughts.

I find myself thinking about all the fun times we've had and feeling the tinnitus will prevent me having more / enjoying life. A good friend came over yesterday to offer support but I was struggling to even focus on what he was saying.

I know the key seems to be about acceptance and not seeing it as a threat - and retraining your brain. Can anyone give practical tips on this...and idea how long it might take?

I've also heard about reflexology and cranial massage etc which may help switch focus on body instead of mind.

I am going to research tinnitus CBT - can anyone make any consultancy recommendation? I live in Midlands but happy to travel.

Any support, recommendations much appreciated. X

Sorry to hear you’re going through this. As it’s in one ear I’m not sure if it’s a temporary thing?- it may pass.

For me it started 2 years ago in both ears after a particularly bad cold. I was suicudal within a week continually googling potential cures and in a downward cycle or despair. How could I fix this or stop this?? I have 3 young dcs and it was Christmas but I could think of nothing but the ringing.

But then I came across some articles that were more positive (sadly I’ve tried to find them since and haven’t been able to) basically anicdotes of people in a similar position who just stopped hearing it and started living their lives again.

I also read this:
www.tinnitus.org/handout2%20TRT_oct2002.pdf
Which I found very comforting. Understanding it and the prevalence of it made me accept it. Then by accepting it I was able to live without fear and move on. I also started headspace daily which massively helped.

So time wise- within about 2-3 weeks of it starting I started to accept and forget about it. These days I go for days weeks and even months at a time where I don’t think about it so don’t hear it.

This must sound crazy as I’m sure it’s all you can hear right now- and it’s all I can hear too- as I’m thinking about it! But honestly for me accepting it and accepting that there is no cure was the way forward. Initially when I was desperate for a “cure” and refusing to accept. That’s when it was horrendous.

Start the headspace today- it will slowly help. I hear the ringing when I’m at my most anxious. I think the two things are really connected.

Btw I also asked for anxiety medication. I was prescribed it- then I read through the side effects- one of which was tinnitus. So I didn’t take them and sorted it myself.

The first rule of tinnitus - don’t talk about tinnitus!
It is possible to push it right to the background. Just like you can have fridge noise or other household noises and not attend to them after a while. Basically try and think about something else, each and every time you start focusing on it.

Dh my mum and best friend also have it. It’s nevr bothered them and only came to light when I was going crazy with it. Seeing that they have it and don’t see it as a problem really helped me.

I developed tinnitus 11 years ago. I was devestated at the time but me and tinnitus happily coexist now.

My experience was very similar to the one you describe. Agree with poster above, educate yourself about the condition, stay away from ‘snake oil’ miracle cures, be absolutely compassionate with yourself.

You will accommodate the tinnitus and then find it WILL recede into the background. It will make a difference to who you are in that you will find yourself to be an EXTREMELY resilient person.

My top tip : consider the sound as you would an overtired toddler having a tantrum - you are full of compassion for its struggle but you’re not going to engage with it or give into it, knowing full well the tantrum will pass. 🌷

Thanks for taking the time to reply zippyswife - and for the advice. If you do unearth those links I'd love to read the same accounts that helped you.

It sounds like I'm in the same space you were two years ago. So did you actively 'train' yourself not to notice it or simply zone out?

I don't tend to hear it during the day or at work, even when working alone in an office with just a background whoosh of an air con system. But then other times it's more noticeable...it must be when I'm more anxious.

Strangely it doesn't help when watching TV as there seems to be a high pitched noise coming from it (it goes when I switch it off). It's only a year old but may need to replace it with a quieter one!

Did you see a consultant? Did you take any meds? Attend any support groups? Wondering if this will help or only make me think about it more.

Thanks again x

Thanks Taff... I like your tired toddler simile! X

Like the others here, I found it really distressing at first but barely notice it now.

One thing that really helped me in the early days was having background noise on at night. I use an app called atmosphere which has all sorts of rain house, white noise etc. It drowned out the tinnitus and allowed me to sleep.

Is yours a constant noise?

I have a type of rare tinnitus in one side only but it is very intermittent. As a result I can't train myself not to ignore it because it randomly starts up and distracts me hugely sometimes in the middle of conversations. I do find it bothers me less if it's les audible so I tend to play Spotify at work and only listen in the bad ear.

Mine is constant Orca...but not constantly noticeable if that makes sense. Last night was particularly bad as I woke at 2am and struggled to nod off again despite having some background noise.

One thing I'm worried about is the impact on my partner. We've been together for around 20 years and she is supporting where she can. I feel I need her support more than ever - but am conscious I don't want to drag her down!

OP I have searched for them since but only came up with negative things that made me feel worse. I would advise against searching for support groups/forums I went on them briefly and find it is very phobic and made me more anxious. Personally I would steer clear. You can do this.

I'm tending to agree zippyswife: there are 2 support groups near me I was considering attending but I guess advice will be similar to yours and other posters. I may pop along once in case anyone has a coping strategy that'll work well for me.

I did call the national helpline twice when feeling upset - they were good but even they advised not becoming a repeat caller as it'll only keep it front of mind. X

Have you downloaded the headspace app. Mindfulness really helps I think. I struggled at the start as you sit in silence so all you hear is the bloody ringing. But it really gradually helps. I’m in a really anxious state at the minute as I’ve let my mindfulness lapse so I know I need to get back on it.

Support groups work for some im sure. Look at the link I put up thread. Really understanding it helped me a lot- I seem to recall getting the link from someone who had said the same thing when I was at my most desperate.

Yep I downloaded the app yesterday. I just
need to make time what with the kids, work and other pressures! And I've downloaded the link you kindly provided...will take a look later.