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dd1 (8 yrs) - bottomless-pit type appetite and chubby - how to deal with it?

53 replies

geekgirl · 24/06/2007 08:30

Dd1 has always been a good eater and on the heavy side, but I am getting really quite worried about her size now.
She is overweight (not terribly so but still...) and if left to her own devices would completely stuff her face with high-calorie food, shunning fruit & veg.

I am forever having to tell her that she can't eat more of a something and do try to curb her eating, but she obviously has huge school dinners with second and third helpings, and has on occasion had dinner at a friend's house without my knowledge, only to have another full meal at home .

I'm also fed up with having to supervise her permanently during breakfast as she would easily have 4 bowls of cereal if left unchecked.

I guess one solution would be to switch her back to packed lunches [groan]

She is at least very active, cycles lots and spends her time after school on the playground and the playing fields nearby, which has really helped. I feel that unless we get a grip on her eating we're fighting a losing battle though.
I've not said anything to her directly - I was an overweight child and my parents always made a big deal over it, and as a result I ended up battling with bulimia and then anorexia for years and years, so I am very conscious of not not the same to her - but at the same time I don't want her to be overweight.

OP posts:
schneebly · 24/06/2007 09:53

Just wanted to say that I understand how you feel Geekgirl and TortoiseSHELL - I have an almost 4yo DS who has a 'healthy' appetite and a little bit of a tum but HV sayse he is fine. I am overweight and have been all my life and think I am very paranoid that he is going to end up the same. I really don't want to make food an issue but struggle!

mytwopenceworth · 24/06/2007 09:54

well, on the photo on your profile, she doesn't look overweight, but I am assuming she has added since then?

My ds1 is similar. He is a very big (tall) and broad shouldered lad anyway, but has the real potential to become overweight. It is a constant struggle to hold him back.

We don't have ANY sweets, crisps, biscuits or indeed any 'grab-it-and-go' food in the house, except fruit. - Until recently, we did have a treat jar, where a sweet would be authorised from time to time. However, this came to be abused (little sneaks!) so it has now gone!

We keep the bread in the freezer, and just take out slice by slice what we need, this stops him going and grabbing bread.

The only cereal in the house is weetabix and shredded wheat.

We only have wholegrain bread - he used to eat far much more bread when it was white. Skimmed and semi skimmed milk instead of whole, and so on.

Things like cheese and yoghurt, which would be very tempting to overeat but are still essential for a child to have, in proper proportion, we buy tiny amounts several times - I will buy 2 yoghurts on a day I am going to give them a yoghurt, smallest cheese from cheesecounter instead of getting a pack in etc etc

I now do fruit salad and keep it in the fridge, same with carrot sticks. Not HUGE amount, but a good portion, so even if he ate it all, it would be ok.

I talked to the school and the lunchladies give him a slightly different portion of food - I asked them to steer him towards the most healthy option, but if he really wanted the pudding instead of the fruit/yoghurt, they were to give him half a portion. They do this and so far it is working well.

Instead of icecream (he still gets treats!!) it is frozen yoghurt or sorbet or ice lollies. He doesn't even notice! (although we did have an incident the other day when the whole pack of ice lollies got snaffled! So there will be no more for several shoppings!)

He still gets a few sweets now and again, sometimes I bake a cake, or take them to Mcyukkies (I know!!) but all things in moderation and the day in day out changes I have made balance it out.

Plus, dh takes him walking, park, plays football with him, swimming etc as being active is just as important.

I tell you something, he bloody HATED it at first - as I recall, the switch from white to wholegrain was one of the hardest for him, he REALLY kicked off! But over time he has come to accept it.

Sometimes he does, even with all this, get a little round and when this happens we look at ourselves and realise we have got a bit lax, we retighten and off we go.

One other thing we do, is make most of his trousers nonelasticated waists. This way, we can see very very clearly and quickly, any weight gain.

I am also always trying to learn about the best options. And get surprised a LOT! Only recently I was told that low fat spread is not as good as butter! I didn't know that, so now I use unsalted butter (in tiny quantities).

mytwopenceworth · 24/06/2007 09:55

oh crikey, I got a bit carried away there, didn't I?!

FioFio · 24/06/2007 09:55

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Message withdrawn

glitterfairy · 24/06/2007 09:56

Both my eldest two are very slim but my youngest is not. I would not call her fat but she is chubby. She has a round tummy and rolls of fat when she sits down. She is teased and the X has once called her fat right across a playground. This has made it an issue.

She has packed lunches and by all appearances eats less than the other two. She also exercises and sometimes runs with me. It will come off it is just a stage and whilst I too have always had problems I will not let them become hers.

Government advice on this now is to maintain weight if children are chubby and as they grow they will slim down. I think this is sound and the other ideas here are good to. The real thing is not make it an issue amongst the family and not to let your dds feel they are singled out for the healthy stuff.

My mum put me on my first diet at 9 and always told me I was overweight which looking back I wasnt but she was an anorexic! WHen my brother and sister had treats I didnt and she paid my school friends to tell her when I ate sweets. Result, battles with ym weight all my life.

I accept that I am an adult now and it is my problem to deal with but I will not set up my darling darling dd like this.

mytwopenceworth · 24/06/2007 09:57

lol Fio, no, I haven't.

I have emailed them

snowwonder · 24/06/2007 10:00

my dd 10 in november is probably very slighlty overweight and i really struggle to get her jeans which she desperately wants, they all seem to come up skinny fit, which she isnt but she isnt fat,

so any tips on weel fitting jeans would be great

Lazylou · 24/06/2007 10:25

We have system in our house wherby if DD would like seconds of any meal I have made, she has to eat all the 'good' things on her plate before hand. If the veg gets left then she obviously doesn't have room for anymore and she does not get it. This came about because she would eat a spoonful of dinner and then demand pudding. We apply the same rule for pudding. I don't offer alternatives in this house and everyone knows that they have to at least try everything on their plate before puddings are given out.

But I agree with the others, your DD looks lovely.

Megglevache · 24/06/2007 10:29

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edam · 24/06/2007 10:34

I agree with the poster who said the focus on childhood obesity is making parents panic unnecessarily. Obesity is extreme - if you had an obese child you really would know about it. Please don't get hung up about your dd's weight and especially don't let her know you are concerned about it.

A growing child needs a different diet from adults. And sometimes they will put on weight before a growth spurt. As long as she isn't eating chocolate, cakes and sweets all day long and is active she will be fine, honestly. Have a look at the Food Standards Agency's website (think it's eatwell.gov.uk) for guidlines on nutrition for children and don't worry too much about it!

themildmanneredjanitor · 24/06/2007 12:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

snowwonder · 24/06/2007 21:14

thanks for that info......

i think the prob at the mo is that skinny jeans are the in thing, and she seems to be bigger on the hips... and if i buy her a bigger size they are big on the waist,

gap seems to be a good idea,

my freind goes there as her dd has very long legs, no bum and tiny waist and gap do some that suit her, so they seems to do various styles

Piksiminx · 24/06/2007 21:38

gg, your dd is lovely, I have 3 dds who would eat until they burst, however they are all very tall for their ages and very lean (take after their dad-not me). We started the rule that if they are hungry after or between meals then they have a drink of water, then if still hungry then they get something else healthy to eat. I read somewhere that many children think that they are hungry when infact they are just thirsty. HTH.

geekgirl · 25/06/2007 12:44

thank you all so much for the helpful replies - you've really helped me put this into perspective.
Our scales are accurate and dd1 really does weigh 34 kg though at 130cm, and the picture of her is a recent one - she doesn't look 'fat' IYSWIM, just cute and dimply I guess - I do think that a lot of it is down to genetics - dh is built like a huge rugby player and is very muscular without ever lifting anything other than beer cans , and I'm not naturally skinny, either, and we all love food.
But on the other hand I don't want her to end up as an overweight & miserable teenager.

So I think I'll chill a bit but make more of an effort to curb the large meals and offer fruit more often in an enticing way, also good point re. water - she's very good at only drinking water anyway, so will remember to offer a drink when she seems to be overdoing it.

OP posts:
snowwonder · 25/06/2007 15:54

good for you, you seem like a lovely mum (and you dont look 30 in you photo- much younger)
i think it is really goo you are aware of it, and in this day and age when we are constantly seeing it in the media,
and to add to that she seems to be very active so she may need a bit more food than a child sat in front of computer all day, as she must be burning lots off..

hope it turns out ok as i am sure it will

Aloha · 25/06/2007 16:12

The chart I looked at put her 'at risk of becoming overweight' not actually overweight. She does look lovely and very normal in her photos.

saffymum · 25/06/2007 16:23

hi, haven't read the whole thread but I wouldn't worry too much, my friend's daughter eats like a hoover and she got really chubby for about a year or two when she was 9 and 10 and we were shocked to see her having 2nd and 3rd helpings bigger than my adult portions. But she was just getting some meat on her bones (slim little girl who went all chubby around the middle) and has now shot up and its all coming off at age 11 as she grows taller. If your child is getting lots of exercise then that is really great. What I do in my house to stop ME eating is have a big fruit bowl so that if anyone is hungry before dinner or between meals that is all thats on offer (and I don't mean bananas, put in apples and pears and oranges) and I limit biscuits, crisps and my portions of food on everyone's plate is one fist size of protein, one fist size of carbs, two fist sizes of veg and hardly any food is with sauces or fried. Hope that gives you some suggestions!!

colditz · 25/06/2007 16:26

I disagree with IlanaK, and I think you should see a dietician before attempting to put limits on healthy meal-type food.

She may be due a MASSIVE 4 inch growth spurt, which would make her extremely hungry. We all know that when you are genuinely hungry, an apple doesn't cut it.

geekgirl · 25/06/2007 16:32

how would I go about seeing a dietician though without making dd1 feel that there's a problem? At the moment she is totally unaware of body issues etc.

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witchandchips · 25/06/2007 16:48

As soon as you make food an issue you will stop your beautiful (and not even chubby) daughter from being able to respond to her hunger cues. She will look at a piece of food and think "I shouldn't have this" rather than "do i want it". Please just let her be
btw bmi measure etc are not foolproof. If she is v active she will have muscles that weigh more.

gulp · 26/06/2007 20:17

I have a v similar daughter - she is a bottomless pit and was on th 91st centile at Reception weight hec recently (where she has been since birth) she eats healthy food but would eat loads if left to her own devices!

I am reading this thread with interest. my d also has school dinners and annoyingly they give them stickers if they finish plate - so annoying as I want her to be guided by her appetite and stop when full! is packed lunch a better idea? dh would be dead against it though ( as he thinks hot meal important and that I am mad for worrying about dd's weight)

thing is, I was same - very solid and HATED it.

ps your children are lovely!

nooka · 26/06/2007 20:42

The muscle effect is worth considering - dh scores as being massively obese on his BMI, but as a body builder carries way more muscle than the ordinary person (although he is slightly tubby too at present). BMIs are just guides, so don't worry too much. Seems like you are doing a great job otherwise, and lots of good ideas here.

geekgirl · 26/06/2007 22:16

mh - weighed her tonight and she's actually put more weight on - 35.5kg

gulp, they get a sticker and a team point at our school for finishing their meal I agree it's a stupid system.

I loathe making packed lunches, but maybe I should pull my finger out?

OP posts:
gulp · 27/06/2007 08:12

probably a good idea for MOST kids who nede to be encouraged but not ones with huge appetites! but I really DON't want to make a huge issue of it for now for her. spoke to dh and he is soooo against packed lunches as their school meals are really really healthy, homecooked meals with only one 'treat# pudding on a friday, the rest of the time it's fruit and/or yogurt and he wants her to have a hot meal. I do agree and prt of me thinks 'if she is hungry and the food she is eating is helthy, then I'll leave her be'....

we live so near the school we dn't get much of a walk - any ideas? do a detour, may?

BecauseImWorthIt · 27/06/2007 08:26

I agree with lots of people here - IME DS1, whenever he was most 'podgy' (he has never been fat) it usually meant he was about to grow.

At 8 I really wouldn't worry too much, but there are some important food principles to bear in mind.

First, they do need fat. This is really important in terms of their development and growth. So at this stage I really wouldn't move away from full fat milk. I know it seems counter intuitive if you're worried about weight but it's important. Give them organic milk as well because it's got more nutrients (especially Omega 3) than ordinary milk.

Similarly butter rather than low fat spreads. If nothing else it's because it's natural and not full of horrible additives and/or the wrong types of fat.

Keep an eye on the carbohydrate levels - where you can feed her complex carbs rather than simple carbs, which means avoiding sugar as much as you can - which also includes too much fruit. So wholemeal bread, brown rice and pasta rather than white, etc.

These should be more satisfying not only because they have more fibre, but also because they are more 'slow release' rather than 'quick fix'.

But would also agree with everyone else, your dd looks lovely in your profile! (And as for the baby ...)

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