Cancer support 67. Waiting for tests, just diagnosed or needing a handhold through treatment

[purpleunicorns]

Welcome to the 67th cancer support thread, the previous one can be found here.

If you're looking for advice, have any questions or just need some support while you're waiting for test results or treatment to start then pull up a seat and make yourself comfortable. You can rant, cry or scream if you need to but we do have some laughs along the way

No questions are silly so please don't feel embarrassed about anything you want to post. The chances are at least one of us has been there at some point!

There's a whole variety of people with different cancers at different stages and nobody goes unanswered, the people on here are amazing (even if I do say so myself ) and they have been a massive support to me over the last year.

If you have a friend or family member with cancer then there's a support thread for you here with lots of practical advice to help you support your loved ones

At the beginning of each thread we give a brief summary of who we are and what we have to save us trailing back through old threads

Here's mine: Im 35 and was diagnosed last October with cervical cancer, despite chemo and radiotherapy I found out in June that it had spread and I'm now having palliative chemo to keep me stable. A scan a few weeks ago showed that there was no new growth after 4 lots of chemo. 2 more chemos to go for me so I'm hoping it stays that way

Delurking to say yes to the Facebook group!
It may take me a while to log into mumsnet a for a DM but count me in.
@WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo so pleased you sound much more comfy now.
To everyone else, what a horrid week with all the diagnoses and plans and side effects. I suggest a nicer week next week please!
Ps I had a McDonald's for lunch as I'm fed up not tasting anything and it didn't last long in my tummy either, I've just had a jam donut to fill in the gap!

I will join but will have to join Facebook first! I will send a message with my name when I’ve achieved Step 1.

Dulce count me in for the FB group

I've just had 2 bags of blood and now I'm going home after almost 2 weeks. I have to carry a syringe around with me for antisickness and I have to come and get my bloods done everyday but it'll be worth it to be back in my own bed

I'm so glad you're finally getting home purple. Hopefully you feel better after the transfusion.

Me too Dulce Great idea.

Glad you got your bed so efficiently and that the special paramedic has checked you over, leslie

toofar I am so sorry you got the shitty news. As others have said, at least you will have a plan now. It’s shit that you have to have a plan, but it does help. A bit. Sending hugs.

To everyone else, whether feeling up or down, I am sending hugs.

DH and I had a row earlier. I don’t think he has really absorbed what’s going on for me and he is being somewhat dismissive. I called him on it and he told me he has been supportive (he actually had been, it’s just the last 48 hours he had been emotionally absent). It ended with him telling me to go fuck myself!

He is not normally like this. I think he is stressed and scared and doesn’t want to talk. He also feels guilty because he hasn’t really been great for this chemo cycle. I was ok after the first cycle and he presumed I would be the same this time, but they introduced Zoledronic Acid (Zometa?) yesterday and it has floored me.

I am in the bedroom and I can hear him in the other room talking to a friend from his home country. His Mum and Son are arriving next week for a holiday so that will help him, I think. Also his Mum will get him to pull himself together. I adore her and am looking forward to seeing her and having her calming influence.

Meh. Cancer sucks.

Hurrah for you finally getting home, purple xx

@Dulcedelecherocks I'm in too. My antenatal group from having DD3 are the best bunch of gals ever and we still have our private FB group. We don't actually use MN anymore, just on there. I've been holidays with them, meet ups and this year they had their 10th year anniversary and all met up in Dublin 

Welcome home @purpleunicorns welcome home!

@LondonHuffyPuffy cancer does indeed suck. I try to make sure DH has a lot of support too as he has such a stressful job never mind all this shit to deal with too. Does he have anyone close to support him too?

Not really, keepcalm and that’s part of the problem. He just won’t talk. He doesn’t have many close friends here in the UK even though he has been here for almost 15 years. Just acquaintances, really. He also has a very stressful job although right now it’s quiet, thankfully. The work is seasonal.

Am going to go and give him a hug x

Just to add my twopenneth - I can see why FB is great for sharing and forming groups, however, once a separate group is established MN isn't likely to be used/required any more. That is likely to mean the demise of the lacies threads, which would be a great shame. These threads have been invaluable to posters wandering in and looking for support.
Just a thought. Anyway, good luck

I hope that won't be the case wombat. I'm in a group with people from when I joined this thread. We carried on using MN for quite a while. None of them post here now, but very few people continue to post regularly once their treatment has finished, so that's not unusual. I certainly wouldn't use FB instead of this thread. Though I suppose I won't be around much longer so that's not much of a reassurance!

Sending you a huge hug London I hope you are taking it easy after yesterday.

@Wombat22 the only reason my antenatal stopped using MN was due to the reduction in use (no longer being on Matty leave etc) and wanting to share pics. I don't see why we chitty chatters can't do both?

@LondonHuffyPuffy I try to remind myself it's difficult for him too when I'm having a hissy fit. I don't always get it right tbh but I just think we all have to be kind to ourselves x

I definitely talk enough nonsense to spread it equally between MN and FB!

Hello Lacies. Thinking of all those having a rough time or awaiting results.
leslie I hope you're managing well and not in any pain. I'm waving frantically to you and all the goldies ( not oldies!)
I find since I completed my major treatment that I'm desperate to get back to a normality of sorts, but the cancer is never truly out of my mind. I do think.of this group often and am eternally grateful for the support and understanding I was lucky to find here.
lots of positive vibes to you all from me

KeepCalm of course you can do both. I hope it didn't sound like I was trying to suggest otherwise .
Leslie Yes, I agree that people move on after treatment. It was just my musings.
Ignore me. especially as I don't post regularly

Oh yay. I'll get onto it later on today or tomorrow. If you're in send me your full name by dm and I'll start sending friend requests

Dulce count me in, now how do i pm???

Group set up. So far me and Leslie in it!
Fluffy - you have to go into the website - let me dm you first.

purple - hope you’re enjoying your own bed

I am deeply incompetent on FB - have no friends (and only really use it to check stuff with s couple of clubs I belong to). So I have very little idea what you’re proposing

Not at all @Wombat22 not at all 

@iVampire it's a private board on FB that only members can see. Essentially so I can bore you all with puppy pictures

I'm in too @Dulcedelecherocks but also a differ at the whole dm thing... will try and find you

*duffer!!

Hi

I felt a bit of a similar concern as Wombat as I know I would miss you all if everyone stopped posting here and it’s such a great source of support for those who are just diagnosed. So good to hear both will carry on .

I know there are forums on cancer related websites but I don’t really want to be on a cancer website all the time and on here there is a bit of chat about other things. So this has been a godsend to me over the last 6 months.

Look forward to seeing more puppy photos as they always cheer me up.

Thanks for the supportive messages. MRI (brain and pelvis) done -CT PET scan Monday morning. I realise I’m very lucky that my insurance is pushing this through so quickly.

My kids are amazing - they seem to have acquired my black sense of humour, and we’ve done a run down of films that are out of bounds (they got me Mamma Mia 2 for Christmas..).

Lots of to everyone who is having a tough time, or whose support network is - it’s so rubbish for everyone xx

I totally get the concerns and I hope the threads carry on as normal. Some of us (like me) don't come here often so the group will be a way to keep in touch. As the others have said I'm sure we all talk enough for 100 forums!