Cancer support 67. Waiting for tests, just diagnosed or needing a handhold through treatment

[purpleunicorns]

Welcome to the 67th cancer support thread, the previous one can be found here.

If you're looking for advice, have any questions or just need some support while you're waiting for test results or treatment to start then pull up a seat and make yourself comfortable. You can rant, cry or scream if you need to but we do have some laughs along the way

No questions are silly so please don't feel embarrassed about anything you want to post. The chances are at least one of us has been there at some point!

There's a whole variety of people with different cancers at different stages and nobody goes unanswered, the people on here are amazing (even if I do say so myself ) and they have been a massive support to me over the last year.

If you have a friend or family member with cancer then there's a support thread for you here with lots of practical advice to help you support your loved ones

At the beginning of each thread we give a brief summary of who we are and what we have to save us trailing back through old threads

Here's mine: Im 35 and was diagnosed last October with cervical cancer, despite chemo and radiotherapy I found out in June that it had spread and I'm now having palliative chemo to keep me stable. A scan a few weeks ago showed that there was no new growth after 4 lots of chemo. 2 more chemos to go for me so I'm hoping it stays that way

Oh no, I wasn't being tactful! I genuinely loved it

I will need all my tact because apparently my grandparents want to visit. Despite seeing me on Boxing Day and deliberately blanking me they haven't told us they want to visit. They told my uncle that they're waiting to be invited. FFS like we don't have better stuff to do than be issuing invitations. Especially to the people who have not once in the past six years since my original cancer diagnosis telephoned my mum to see how she is or offer support, and who never ask how I am or how she is when we see them or speak to them. I now just ignore them at family events. Frankly I don't want to see them, but if my mum wants them to visit then I will tolerate them for a very short time and then retire under my blanket! Their only effort since finding out my recent news has been to send us a card telling us that it is God's will even though I'd specifically told them that I am not religious, and frankly even if I was WTF

Sorry that turned into a massive rant

Peridito that box idea is genius! My hospital table is currently full of crap

at Leslie weeing on your own head. Good luck with the grandparents, although I'm shocked anyone would send you a card saying that it's God's will. Especially when it's their granddaughter

Evening lacies. @WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo it's amazing who does and doesn't come out of the woodwork. You definitely grow a dickhead radar!
I finished chemo on Thursday and it all feels a bit, well weird! The aches have started to come in today from the boosting injections but I'm nurofened up, been to pizza express (didn't have the mushroom pizza!) and am now watching poirot for a change. Wondering if I can talk DH into a Chinese curry and chips, seem to love my carbs at the moment!
I tried to post the other night about button up night clothes. It's not very PC but I love the night shirts from Primark, mine all come with buttons, are cheap and wash well!
You did make me laugh about the state of the toilets and I've made a mental note to take some cheap slip on shoes I can bin after my op!
We've decided to host an impromptu NYE party for just us 4 and some really good friends who live opposite us and have been super supportive. So I'm currently writing a list of everything my DH will need to do tomorrow! To be fair, I don't care if the house is a mess anymore it will just be nice to spend time with people and see it I can make it to midnight!
Hope everyone has had a good day. all round.

Hardly what I'd call a massive rant .

Shame the grandparents can't go on waiting to be invited ...

God's will indeed ,what a thing to say to you ! What star pillocks .

You are lovely to go along with it for your mum .But yy to under blanket after half an hour .

Purple hope you're doing ok and that the pain is subdued .

to all suffering - whether from pain ,sickness ,the waiting for results agony ,and for those who can't sleep and are worried(unnecessarily IMO ) about increasing dependence on drugs .

Bloody hell Leslie you deserve a much bigger rant than that. Your own grandparents. Unbelievable.

@WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo I wouldn't even let them over the threshold!!! I'm a bit like that with my aunts but my mother brought me up better so I'm polite and civil. Am so sorry you have this shit to deal with as well 

@ranoutofquinoaandprosecco remember it's a HOME, not a house so who cares what it looks liked as long as it's lived in We're having our best mates round too and that's all. A quiet one for us but in company that we enjoy so just perfect.

Can I just ask any of the BC ladies a quick question please?

My boob with the tumour is absolute agony at the moment. I'm talking mastitis level of sore. Can't be touched without being in pain, I can't even take off my bra and let her hang (don't go visual) for my shower

Touching/pressing on the lump is extremely tender. I had to get DH to help me back on with my bra as I wept and I'm NOT a crier!

I can't decide if this is hormonal, I believe if the chemo hadn't knackered my periods, I'd be due on just now OR if it's something to do with no longer getting chemo (last dose 5wks ago)

All very strange but been going on for a few days now......

Maybe worth mentioning to your team KeepCalm that sounds awful

Thanks for the back up. Good to know I'm not overreacting. I honestly would be happy never to see or hear from them again. I'm so pissed off and sad for my mum that they haven't stepped up to support her at all. It's no surprise as they've never been the loving or supportive types. But I'm sure she still hopes luckily we both have other people we can lean on. We are not going to invite them. So we will wait and see if they do get in touch at all and then decide what to do.

Hi @KeepCalm you need to get that sorted out. I'm BC too. I wonder if it's the chemo doing it's stuff and breaking the tumour down? Mine started hurting more once the chemo started.
Have you kept an eye on your temp?
Is is worth a call to your out of hours team? Let us know how you get on.
@WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo you are definitely not overreacting. I think your plan to see if they get in touch seems sensible.

Sorry it was rather cathartic to let that all out. I hope none of my relatives lurk on here...

ranout I hope you got your curry and chips :) your New Year plans sound good. I saw your thread about the menu. Might go and have a nose and see what you've decided on I love food discussion. Remember they're coming to see you. I like the saying those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind. But I'm sure house is fine anyway. Whenever I think ours is getting a bit messy I remember the houses they used to show on that How Clean Is Your House programme

purple how are you and your pesky kidneys doing today?

Hugs all round

Thanks for not thinking am daft Ladies. Have just given it a poke and whilst it's still tender it's definitely not as sore as it has been the past few days. My temperature has been fine, am currently wrapped in a Blanket on the couch!

@ranoutofquinoaandprosecco I wondered about that too. The oncologist mentioned the chemo had made it more 'malleable' even if it hadn't shrunk it......

@KeepCalm my oncologist mentioned more malleable too! Mine hasn't shrunk but I sort of expected that!
@WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo normally I'm all over food but I've passed the baton to DH! It looks like shove in the oven beige party food which will be great! I would have done my cured salmon with new potato salad with capers and gherkins, beetroot and apple salad with horseradish and potato cakes but the friends coming don't like salmon! I've got a lovely leg of lamb though for New Year's Day!
I got the rick steins mexican cookbook for Xmas so I'll be working my way through it from next week!

Ooh enjoy. We are having beige party food too, though it's just me and my parents for NYE. I have just bought The Green Roasting Tin and we are having some recipes from that this week (we are all vegetarian) :)

Of course you're not daft KeepCalm. Try not to poke it too much though or you'll make it sore again and then you'll be wondering if it's sore because you poked it or what I have a cancerous lymph node on my collar bone which has been growing and shrinking (sometimes in a matter of hours?!) over the past two and half years so I have quite a bit of experience with this

Just looked up green roasting tin, looks great. May have to treat myself! Love a cook book ..... and the food!
DH has just gone out for my chips and curry sauce, probably the last time I can try it on!

@WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo I have collarbone lymph node too but nobody has even mentioned oh since I was told I have it?! Apparently they'll remove my underarm affected nodes during the op but what about that one?

I should ask more questions shouldn't I?!? 

@ranoutofquinoaandprosecco I have >400 cook books and yet I still want to go add that one to my amazon wish list now Did you watch the programme when it was on? I have to admit I like Rick!

ranout I'll report back when I've tried some of them :) well done Mrranout. Though I reckon you can keep pulling the cancer card for a few months yet!

KeepCalm nobody is really interested in mine either! I think they're quite difficult to remove, because of the location. Mysillydog also has one, but hers is more troublesome and is/was causing nerve issues, I think.

This thread is such a sanity check/lifeline!! I've been feeling very glum today but reading all your posts - and realising everyone is dealing with equally bad shit - has definitely sorted my brain out this evening. I love the normal chatter that intersperses all the cancer shit ps namechange I do covet your username

I think my kidneys are behaving, although that's down to the doctor doing his rounds and checking how much I've been weeing/drinking

I'm still in hospital as my temperature keeps spiking so I'm on IV antibiotics and I need to wait until at least tomorrow for the pain management team to come back and tell me what pain relief I'm taking home. Still in quite a bit of pain but I can stand up without having to have someone very ungraciously pulling me up

@KnickerBockerGlooooory have a puppy pic for jn berteen all the cancer shit

Yay for the stand up @purpleunicorns 🙌🏻

Can’t believe your grandparents leslie - how awful!

I get breast pain too keepcalm - I think it’s the tumour pressing down on nerves. I’m still getting it now and then even though my tumour appears to be responding to treatment.

Great about the standup purple

Hi Everyone. Thanks so much for the welcoming posts. So sorry I just dumped and ran!

I have decided to discuss the picc line with my Oncologist when I see her tomorrow morning. I have just been writing a list of things I want to say/ ask.

Hope everyone has a lovely NYE, whatever you are doing x

Hi,

Leslie toddlers are a great distraction! Totally agree that your grandparents behaviour sounds awful and the best course of action is to not invite and see what happens...

keepcalm I had breast pain the more chemo I did. None to begin with, but it became quite tender after starting the docetaxel (& mine shrank to almost nothing by the end of the chemo)

I like the sound of your salmon dish ranout I am not a massive salmon fan either, but it sounds delicious. My brother & sil are here now, he is a really good cook, so made a delicious stew for tea last night. We need to hit the supermarket today for supplies. I was wondering about lamb too for tomorrow.... I have half the ingredients for fajitas for later.... I too am a cook book collector, but seem to have got into a rut with what I actually cook as the kids have suddenly got quite fussy and if they decide not to eat something, I end up eating it for days. My NY resolution is to cook one new dish every couple of weeks so I can increase my repertoire again as I used to cook loads.

purple I hope they get on top of the pain meds and you get out of hospital today. Sounds like you are making some progress with the standing...

I was able to have my first proper shower yesterday (whilst still keeping my dressings dry, so not a proper proper shower, but a massive improvement on the other post op showers)

I hope everyone has a good NYE and feels as well as possible. We are just going to cook something nice and have a few drinks whilst watching Jools Holland most likely. I bought some pink grapefruit gin before Christmas and have yet to try it!

The doctor had been round and said I need scans on my kidneys as they still aren't right so I'll be here a few more days at least

Morning all.
Sorry to hear about your kidneys Purple but it's good to hear you're making progress.
Thanks for the puppy pic KeepCalm - always a joy. We saw my 'puppy' yesterday, now 2 years old. My DSIS volunteered to take her when I realised just how bad the cancer was. It's always a bit sad seeing her but better for her.
Leslie I have very little experience of grandparents but yours sound terrible. You and your mum deserve better.

My stinking cold and hacking cough are on their way out now thank goodness, and I'm not feeling sick so hopefully I'm tolerating the drugs well. They have affected my appetite though - no bad thing as I am very overweight - but it does mean I CBA to cook anything nice for the DCs. I love the sound of your salmon dish ranout but honestly, I'd be fine with toast and marmite tonight!