Motor Neurone Disease Worries

[CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger]

Convinced I've got ALS/MND and am loosing sleep and constantly weepy about it.

So as not to dripfeed, I had a run in with the grim reaper in March when I had a huge pulmonary embolism (provoked by leg surgery) which put me in CCU (heart was struggling) and I've been seeing a therapist for PTSD for a while, adding on severe anaemia from the blood thinners (now resolved) and some horrid heart palpitations it hasn't been the best of times health wise. I've also had an incredibly stressful couple of months what with finding out my husband cheated on me a few years back and an employment tribunal looming (we own a business and have been dealing with a vexatious ex employee who we had to let go due to harassment of female staff - he didn't like that!). So pretty stressful times.

A few weeks ago my operated on leg calf started twitching, thought nothing of it, then my good calf started a few days later, followed by bouts of one particular toe twitching for hours. This was followed my thumbs, and finally generalised twitching joined the party. That in itself was slightly concerning but not enough for me to think my death warrant was signed.

About the same time I began to feel really weak in my thumbs/index fingers. This progressed into the wrists after a day or so and then into my arms. Basically feels like that horrid bit when you're limb's been asleep from laying on it and it's waking up and tensing/feeling kinda irritated and you've got limited control - but all the time.

I'm constantly testing the strength and dexterity of my hands and arms to try to reassure myself - strength seems OK (although it feels weak, I can do it) but feel I've lost some dexterity (and had noticed a little clumsiness with my hands over the past couple of weeks or so).

Couldn't see the GP as no appointments but did see a surgery based paramedic this morning who was struggling to be honest - he didn't really want to say much about it other than referring to the duty doc who's booked me in to have my B12 and calcium checked (gotta wait a week for the blood test).

I'm jumping from being fully aware of how I sound (paranoia and catastrophisation) to being utterly convinced that I'm in for a couple of years of suffering with a horrendous death at the end.

I JUST WANT IT TO ALL GO AWAY 😢

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. I am also suffering some worrying physical symptoms and always jump to the worst possible conclusion so I completely understand how you feel.
I don't know if this will help reassure you a little but my mum actually had motor neurone disease and her symptoms weren't at all like what you describe. But obviously only a doctor can properly reassure you. Just remember you've been through so much recently and stress and anxiety can do all sorts of funny things to the body and there are also other possible explanations for twitching such as B12 deficiency so please try (even though it's so hard) to take your mind off things until you have the blood test. Stay strong X

CuppaTea I know exactly how you feel regarding various symptoms which one moment you think they are OK and the next you can't help but catastrophise! In your case you have had more than your share of worries and the stress is still there. I wanted to reply as I often fret over symptoms and when somebody on here can reassure me a little, I instantly feel better. So just wait for your doctor appointment and know that you are not the only one to feel like that. Hope this helps

Thankyou both so much for your kind words, they really do mean a lot. Health anxiety or whatever you want to call it is a bitch, the amount of headspace it consumes is ridiculous.

I've just been shopping and my arms and hands are like jelly - just no strength in them. I hope they get to the bottom of why (and it isn't sinister) soon as the fear is all consuming at the moment.