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Poor mil, 1st cancer, now brain tumour, and she's so far away...

5 replies

ernest · 19/06/2007 10:43

Hi, some of you might remember, so gots lots of kind support last year, but 18 months ago lovely lovely mil was diagnosed with cancer of the peritonium. Inoperale, but nevertheless responded excelently to chemo.

While in this time she has physically been well,, mentally she has found the dark cloud of cancer looming over her and bascially not coped mentally very well, been depressed and fearful, even the the chemo went to well.

Anywy, couple of weeks ago she's suddenly getting headaches, feeling dizzy, being sick etc. 3 seperate doc diagnose labarynthitus, a sort of very nasty ear infection.

She pushes and pushes, then they finally take her in, and find brain tumour

So now she's been transfered to a specialist hospital & awaiting op.

Dh was over last weekend, but now had to come back. Problem is very small family, Only sil & fil. fil scatty, obv very stressed out & scared. Poor sil is 8 months pg with 1st baby, under a lot of strain. Really freaked out about her mum

And there are we, in Switzerland, constantly waiting for phone calls, news, updates and getting very little, or fil getting confused and giving wrong information, or them just being too tired to call. It's really really hard being so far away.

Possibly having op tomorrow.

So have any of you coped with long distance illness like this?

And brain tumour? Doesn't sound too good, does it? 1st we're told they'd operate if it's primary, or is that secondary, um not sure, one or the other (this is the 'info' we get from fil), basically they either don't keep in touch or get mixed up and tell us it all wrong.

OP posts:
MarsLady · 19/06/2007 10:44

I'm sorry to hear your news ernest! Much love to you!

hippipotami · 19/06/2007 11:04

Sorry to hear this ernest. Could your dh not phone the hospital direct and ask for info about his mum?
Perhaps knowing exactly what is happening may be easier?

I hope it all turns out fine.

ernest · 19/06/2007 13:43

ta hip, followed you advice and managed to get hold of sil and get number of ward.
Also let her know dh finding it hard, esp since he's been back from uk not being informed/in touch.

poor sil. Now people, including mil nurses are saying stuff like 2she's got to look after herself & not do anything to put baby at risk etc so now it's like she's being told off for visiting her mum in hospital. Poor thing doesn't need the extra stress. She had contractions last night and it's just such a hard time for her.

OP posts:
hippipotami · 19/06/2007 13:45

oh ernest, glad my simple suggestion may help somewhat. I hope all turns out okay for mil and your sil - she must be so stressed out (not suggesting you and dh are not)

Stay strong, will keep everything crossed for your mil.

ernest · 19/06/2007 18:06

Anyone els egot experience of supporting ill loved ones from afar feel so helpless, esp as I can't visit cos of boys, so even when dh went last w/e I had to stay here.

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