Please help me help my dd - trichotillomania

[hippipotami]

Hi, not sure if this should be in health or behaviour.
My beautiful, clever, headstrong dd who is 4 and a half has started pulling her own hair out. I think she has been at it for about 6 months as I have been finding little clumps of hair, but recently she is pulling out almost quarter a head at a time. I am crying as I write this as I just don't know what to do. She is due to start school in Sept and I don't want ther to be bold. I am so worried about the other children teasing her.

We saw the GP who just said to ignore it and she will stop. But will it? I was a compulsive skin picker from the age of 3 and still am now (but hide it well) My sister started with trich at the age of 12 and still does it now (we are both in our late thirties)

I want to cut dd's hair short in an attempt to stop her, but dh tells me I am making an issue out of it and just to ignore it and accept it.

I know compared to serious illnesses this is nothing, but I just cannot stop crying and worryin. Please please help.

Hippipotami, I don't know anything about the condition, so apologies if I'm talking rubish, but, if you think that cuting her hair short may help to stop her, do. It may not stop the problem but at least give you some time to find a more suitable solution.

A big hug.

Hi, I have trich. And my 5 year old had it for about a year when she was 2-3. Children with trich tend to outgrow it, its when its starts in teenagehood that it carries on into adulthood.
Ignore it, don't make a fuss of it. Don't tell her to stop.
I did shave dd2's hair as it got so bad at one point, that seemed to help. You can try gloves at night or ezcema sleepsuits.

One of my close friends has been through this with her dd who is 2.5 so I send you huge sympathies.
She saw many mnay doctors who told her she would grow out of it, it was habit etc etc but she was doing it for about a year and a half so it started when she was very very young.
Obviously this may not be the case with your dd but mt friend recently had a huge breakthrough. She mentioned it to her new hv who requested that the gp test A's iron levels - they were incredibly low despite a healthy diet. Apparently many young children with a low iron count pull out their own hair and eat it in order to get the iron they lack. We couldn't believe it, apparently it's likened to pregany women eating strange things that their bodies crave. My friend felt terrible as she is a Nurse and felt she should have known all along but it is such a strange complaint but common according to gp - who incidentally hadn't mentioned it before!!
Do you know if your dd eats her hair? If so it may be worth getting her tested. Sorry if this is completely irrelevant but I thought I'd share it with you just in case it helps. Since being on iron supplements A has virtually stopped pulling her hair out.

Thanks guys - you are great. I wish I could stop worrying about it, but I keep crying and I can't sleep, and dh yells at me that I am blowing it all out of proportion and that I will end up making dd so much worse

Abbylou - dd definately does not eat her hair - I find big clumps of it everywhere. She does it (probably without thinking) whilst in the car and in bed. So any time she is not busy.

dd2 did stop doing it, she now has all her hair. I know its hard but you really need to ignore it. The sleepsuits will help, as they have covered hands and stop her getting a grip on the hair.

normally I would recommend www.trich.co.uk but atm the site is down due to spammers. Lois is a fabulous lady who has helped many people.

I used to pull my hair out when i was 8-14ish i had issues in my past and a stepdad that wouldnt let me cry so i had a special jar where i would put my hair when i had pulled it out it was only done when i was angry upset and until my dd was born have still done till recently, i only stopped when my hair fell out in masses post birth, i think you should try talking to her as she may have a reason for doing it

My brother started this when he was about 10 and was having problems at school. My dad and mum gave him a skin head (they were trandy at the time luckily) and that broke the habit.

The GP said not to question her, but me being as anxious as I am went agains the advice and DID question her. She said she doesn't know why she does it, and the offered she did not like the colour of her hair. She then said she did not want to talk about it.

I know I have to leave it, I know I should not worry, but for some reason I just keep crying, worrying, thinking, googeling and upsetting myself more and I can't seem to snap out of this in order to help her.

My best friend (whose dd is my dd's best friend) said not to worry about what other people think, dd is still beautiful, with or without hair. I wish I could be that strong and positive.
Gosh, I am such a lousy mum working myself up into such a state over this. How does my crying help dd.

your not a lousy mom you are obviously a caring mom who care about what effect this will have on your dd