anal pain since childbirth - breastfeeding stopping healing?

[MaeBee]

hi,
tomorrow i have a hospital appointment again. i have, i think, an anal fissure.
i gave birth to my baby 8.5 mths ago, forceps delivery, episiotomy and all that, and a couple of weeks after got this extraordinary pain when shitting, and blood etc. firstly, was diagnosed as having haemorroids, but eventually they decided it was a fissure.
last appointment it was too painful for them to look, but they said yes, probably a fissure, suggested anoheal - which i have found is safe for breastfeeding and am using and helps - but im not healed yet.
possibly might have to have surgery, which carries a risk of fecal incontinence. ugh. but im getting desperate. at the moment the pain is manageable, but sometimes it hurts not only having a bowel movement, but for hours afterwards.
i havent had penetrative sex since the birth, feel too afraid and in pain, the vagina too close to the anus.
and, im worried it might be worse than a fissure. rectal bleeding, lost lots of weight, need to shit at 5ish most mornings, often really urgently and very loose (sorry TMI!) and ive been thinking its my period coming back but now imwondering if its abdominal pain cos of some irritable bowel disease?
anyway, if anyone else has suffered this please let me know! and, im breastfeeding, and ive heard from other bf mothers that there fissures healed after stopping feeding, maybe low eostegen interfering with healing???
dreading my appointment tomorrow, cos its embarassing and probably pointless (they havent yet managed an internal examination cos too painful), but then i dread going to the toilet every morning too.
wish me luck!

Haven't been online for a few days - newborn keeping me more than occupied! How are you Maebee? Really hope you're not in too much discomfort. Mine is two steps forward and one back all the time. Just can't wait for the time when I don't dread going!

hi miffymoo, you still on rectowhatsit?
im sore and bleeding but not anything as bad as it was. back to clinic on 20th september. ugh. its been so long, i wish i just had my body back to normal!
you still about basset? or are you in the world of the healed and happy?
x

I can't believe the op doesn't completely cure it, poor you MaeBee, I hope it heals soon. I'm still on Rectogesic which seems to be helping somewhat (esp the anaesthetic effect around the area) but still very much feeling up and down with it - just as I think it's getting better it hurts/bleeds again, but I guess that's the nature of the anal fissure!

Hi there

Not in the world of happy n healed yet....but spent last week away in a hotel overseas and how impossible was it to find branflakes and fresh papaya?!! I really think having a baby has changed my digestion completely. Now thankfully at home and at least can eat more fibre.

Maebee:That sounds difficult after having had the surgery. Don't lose heart though, I'm sure it has improved things. It might just be going through a final re-healing stage (they do seem to go through different stages)

I yearn for the time of not even thinking about it before I go!! Can't remember what it was like now I also keep wondering what it would be like to have a baby and not have to deal with this too??!

hope you enjoyed your hols despite your bum basset!

miffymoo: don't be afraid to hassle the doctors for different cream if its not moving fast enough.

well, i seem to be not in pain last couple of days.

Thanks Maebee, yep my derriere is now well-travelled! It wasn't as bad as I'd feared despite not being able to eat my usual fibre-with-everything diet.

Might have another issue now....my period is 11 days late...gulp

basset - oh my god?! might you be pregnant again?

today i feel full of misery and despair. i want to go on a long cycle ride. i want to climb a mountain. i want to go for a run. all that seems to aggrevate things. damn it.

am bleeding a load this morning and it is sore.

Hi Maebee, sending you a big hug. I really sympathise - it is such a horrid and misery-making thing to have but remember this is one off day. You will have better days and eventually it will go. It is so flippin upredictable isn't it?

I'm too scared to take a test. Guess I'm gonna have to if P doesn't show...we're moving overseas soon and it is all too much to deal with to be honest!

basset - take the test and get it over with. remember, periods can be all over the place in the first year or so after a baby anyway.

am feeling angry today. feel so violated by all the medical intrusion into my bits! thats probably unfair of me, cos i chose to have a baby, but i feel as if all this stuff has gone on: the forceps, the episiotomy, the anal surgery, and im ignorant of what happened. i don't even know if they have investigated the possibility of bowel disease! when i went for surgery they said they would "have a look" but i've come away still unclear about what that means.
and after all this intrusion, still the bleeding, still the pain, and still unable to manage full penetrative sex.
i mourn my former health.
sorry for the rant. x

I got a test this am - couldn't stop worrying. I am pregnant. Now I can't stop crying.

Like you, Maebee, I feel so so upset and angry about all of this and now I feel incredibly stupid along with it.

Make sure you demand some answers and more information at the next appmt. Its so much to go through, don't feel bad that you didn't get much info before...you were trying to just stay in the room nevermind anything else!!

oh basset. i dont know what to say about the pregnancy, cos i don't know your situation, except your bum, but it sounds like this wasn't at all what you hoped for. i guess its mighty early after your other lo.
what does your partner say?
have you made a decision about what to do?
please feel free to let vent any thoughts you have on this thread if you want. sometimes it can really help clarify things in your head and heart just to write stuff/type stuff.
many hugs. xxx

Thanks Maebee. I'll tell Dh tonight. He'll probably be really pleased and I did want my dd to have a sibling - its just so soon and my bum still hurts from last time!!!!

Me and my bum will just have to get through it. Do they do bum bypasses? Or perhaps I can have a bumectomy? I'll probably need a bum transplant in the end. Have watched an American B-movie about spinal injury and now trying to feel more positive as you might have noticed.

I'll keep posting on here cos it does help. Are you feeling any better?

at the bumectomy jokes. these problems are a right arse aren't they?
yep, bit less painful today. you know how it goes. sigh.
how was telling your dh? if its any use to remember lots of people plan this sort of gap. they say that it levels out in the end, cos the kids occupy each other after a certain age...
but i too would be terrified after the toll it took on my body the first time. theres no reason to suppose it will be just as traumatic the second time though. its usually easier isn't it?
glad you are sounding more positive.
x

hello,

I haven't been on this thread for ages despite continuing bum problems. I thought I had healed because compared to those early silent screaming and clutching the radiator days, things are much better. Sometimes, I will have no pain for a week or so and then it will suddenly come back and there will be a slight stinging feeling and then some blood on the loo paper. Maybe it is very slowly healing, I guess it has improved loads, DS is one next week. How are you Maebee? Your DS was about the same age, i seem to remember.

hi myrtle! Good to see you hear again! yes, my ds is 11 mths. i wonder whether my new bleeding and pain is now piles rather than fissure cos it is so much less painful. good that you are no longer silently screaming, but sorry its still not the easy ride it used to be...oh, to read on the loo!

MaeBee, hope you're feeling a little bit better? These retched bum issues seem to certainly cause us good days and bad don't they! I'm up and down like a yo-yo at the moment, and it sounds as though you might be too, so a big hug from me. Chin up, you'll come through it. Basset, congratulations. It might have come as a shock, but I'm sure it will all be worth it in the end and the wonders and glory of a beautiful baby will hopefully overshadow the worry of the rear end! I've already decided to have elective c-section next time as there is no way I'm going through this amount of pain again, but I guess not everyone fancies the idea of a c-section either, so it is a tricky one.

Have a good weekend all - may your bottoms be good... xx

Hey!

We're almost a coffee-morning group - although at our coffee-morning there'd be a heap of fruit, several bottles of water and tubes of anoheal in the biscuit tin.

I'm up and down too at the mo. Now I have nausea as well. Dh was pleased about the pg. I'm trying to think positive in that my fissure has a good few months to heal before facing labour again. My homeopathy lady told me that pg could help it to heal so here's hoping.

Scarily, we'll be living in Germany soon but I'll keep you posted on how I get on. You never know, their health care is supposed to be great so maybe they have a secret cure for fissures?! If they do, I'll make sure I get enough for all of us.

do pass on any secrets from mainland europe basset! you sound a bit more comfortable with being pregnant now.
miffymoo - i know what you mean about wanting a c-section next time, although i was a great advocate of home births, i guess i still am in theory actually. anyway, for me i think im not prepared to risk having another baby ever. it kind of saddens me to know that, but the toll on my health seems to big.
can i ask, how old are you both? im 33 (or is it 34?!), and my sisters popped theirs out when they were 16 and 17 and had no problems.
maybe if i change my mind i should smoke through the next pregnancy to get a little baby!! (i jest, but i actually know someone who did that...)
x

I'm 30. Was 29 when I had my dd. It was only a problem when they realised how big she was so I ended up pushing for 3hrs.

Cannot tell you how terrified I am of going through labour again - or the aftermath!

I'm 28 (29 next month)and like you Basset, ended up pushing for nearly 4 hours cos ds was large. I empathise with you MaeBee and think it's such a sad sitution for us all! I(obviously rather naively) had no idea how much childbirth can take it's toll on the body but then I've heard it can be so much easier second time round because everything has been stretched so much first time round. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you Basset. Good luck with the big move too! xx

i was pushing for hours too, to no avail cos he was at a bit of an angle. hence the forceps. miffymoo - i too was naive about childbirth, thought it would be a bit of a strain but no idea that a year later i would be still suffering! doh!
best description i've heard is that its like a carcrash from the inside out.
basset - everyone says second children just fall out! it is meant to be much easier second time around. don't fret about it, although easier said than done. just try and be healthy and relaxed as possible.
xx

had a hospital appointment yesterday. they were taken aback i still hadn't healed. thats not meant to happen after the operation. i felt really despairing. they wanted to book me in immediately for another surgery - this time botox injections (!!!) but i just couldn't face more anal invasion. (that sounds like the title of some bad porn movie doesn't it!)
i told them i wanted to wait til i'd stopped breastfeeding before more surgery. and im back on anoheal. they don't expect me to get better on the cream. but then the botox isn't meant to be very succesful either - it has a very high fissure recurrence rate.
i now have 3 large skin tags, i look a mess. and it feels all so scarred and wrong down there. and all that deliberating about the op, which hasn't even worked. the surgeon mentioned we could remove the skin tags after im all healed.
"IF i heal." i said.
he smiled grimly. "we hope you will."
oh, i cried a lot yesterday.
hope you all doing better.
xxxxxx

Hi Maebee, how was your weekend? As pain-free and OK as poss I hope. Just remember what previous posters have said. Fissures take time to heal and that can be frustrating but they do eventually heal.

My wkd was pants - kind of. Thought I was miscarrying. Had brown-pinkish discharge since last weds. Had an early scan this am tho and the bean is there still and Ok so far. Its been a real roller-coaster and I've not thought much about my fissure!!

Life can be v hard sometimes can't it? We'll all get through this so keep your chin up

glad you weren't miscarrying, basset. and glad that pregnancy has at least taken your mind off your bum!
weekend was a bit too indulgent in the sugar/white flour direction. we were at my dp's parents house and it was my little one's early birthday celebrations so all a bit bad on the diet front.
my big worry is that not all fissures DO heal. indeed, the only reason they risk surgery is on fissures they think are too far gone to heal any other way. such as mine. and when that doesn't work, there isn't really much hope left that conservative measures - or medical - will fix it. the doctors aren't very hopeful. and me neither.
thats why i feel so despairing.
but not as miserable today, for whatever reason!

Hello,

Maebee, sorry its still hurting
I had a good week last week with less pain but today for some reason it hurt again and there was blood in toilet bowl, I've not had that before, it was quite scary and then I started wondering if it wasn't a fissure at all but something worse. I'm going to book a dr appt I think. Do you still bleed Maebee?