Direct cremation

[billysboy]

My Dad has just been moved to palliative care following 8 months of cancer and trauma, they have given him a couple of weeks

I have discussed " arrangements " with him and he said he doesnt want to be buried so cremation it is

Having lost my mother when I was a lot younger I have nothing but painful memories of the local crem so have suggested a direct cremation to him and then collecting the ashes and organising a service /memorial in the village hall of the place he was born and grew up in which he thought was a better idea as the crem is a 50 minute drive away from the village

Has anyone else done anything like this ?

Yes, it was a much better way I think.

It may become a bit more prevalant as marriages have in the last 20 years with a lot more options as well as a church or registry office

Dad was not too formal and think it would be far more personal

We do these direct cremations at our crem...I can assure you that they are cremated with exactly the same respect and reverence as a 'normal' cremation. We also have a courier who collects the ashes on the applicants behalf and delivers them. It is extremely cheap (around £1000 all in I believe) they are becoming very popular. Since they started in June we have done around 45.

We opted in to know when and where the cremation was taking place so on that day I lit candles in special places, that helped me. We had a separate memorial service. Then later the ashes were returned to the family and buried with a few words by all of us.
It felt entirely 'right' for me.

I have spoken to a funeral director who has also said they are becoming very popular as they offer greater flexibility on venue and timing

as well as taking care of the body , cremation he is also capable of managing the memorial service and acting as MC

I am having one. I think what you are suggesting is dignified and appropriate.

I'd never thought of this before, I think it's a lovely idea, one I'd consider myself.

So sorry about your dad 💐

I think this is a lovely idea, it helps people who want to pay respects but can't travel easily too.

the Director is going to meet Dad tomoz so he can meet him to help compose tribute etc

We had both my in laws cremated first (with no service etc) then a few days later we had a memorial type service followed by interment of the ashes and then refreshments. Instead of a coffin we had an urn. My DH ran everything past his mother who was in a care home when his DF went first and she was fine with it all. So we repeated it when she went. I thought it worked really well and must discuss funeral wishes with my own parents who are very old.

Thanks for posting this, OP. It's what we want too.

Its had a mixed reaction amongst immediate family most of whom dont understand it and just think thats not how its done

I just think it will make it more personal without all of the hearses and embalming, laying in the chapel and worst of all having to watch the committal

Speaking to Dad today he doesnt want everyone being miserable and morbid

I would like your Dad to know a stranger on the internet thoroughly agrees with him. Your thread has made me think about it properly. I don't think there's any need for what's left of me to be present at my funeral.