Hello all,
Just a rant I suppose and wondering if anyone feels the same.
I just feel emotionally drained out, depleted and physically broken. I’m 33 years old and my body feels a lot older. There are reasons to name a few, binge eating and eating disorders after my father died 8 years ago and post natal depression four years ago (and again second time around more recently), sent me into a black hole that I can’t seem to get out of.
I’m fat, it’s crept up on me over the years and it’s not stopping. I’m not just fat - I am
Obese. I am embarrassed of myself. I don’t have much time to exercise or cook healthily for myself. My diet is poor. In fact the only nutritional food I eat is the extra veg I put on when making the kids food. I’m always looking after clingy baby or demanding older child, doing the usual housework and bits.
My back has started to ache, I had a problem with it even when I was younger and much slimmer, but it’s come back with a vengeance and the extra weight is not helping. I’m unable to sleep at night because of it and I’m so ashamed I can’t bring myself to see the doctor for pain relief. It is so so painful and I don’t know how to carry on right now. It sometimes hurts to walk (walking is the only small bit of exercise I get).
I don’t recognise myself any longer. I’ve never been a looker but I was always confident and vivacious. I didn’t care what the world thought of me, I had pride in myself and taking care of myself. Now I’m
just completely lost.