I went to see the nurse today for bloods and checkup ready to be referred for gastric band (hopefully) long story short the nurse went off to check something and was gone a while so I was having a nosy at my notes (they were on the screen I wasn’t searching the computer!) it said under serious health concerns polyarthritis diagnosis followed by major depressive episode.
A few years ago I went to the gp with the pain I have in my hands as I was sure I had arthritis and was duly referred to the rheumatologist at the hospital, eventually went for scans and X-ray and saw rheumatologist for results, she was nasty, she said there was nothing wrong with me and no wonder I had pain in my joints because I was so fat (last I checked I don’t walk on my hands) I was too ashamed to speak out at the time and internalised the pain and tried to hide it as much as I could because I had no reason to be in pain and in my mind at the time I didn’t think I deserved any sympathy or help because there was nothing wrong.
This and other things set off my depressive episode it was awful for a long time and I was suicidal for a time. Eventually I reached out and got hell and saw a brilliant psychologist and got through it, when I told her about what the dr had said she put in a formal complaint for me but it went nowhere.
Now it seems that the bitch rheumatologist actually did diagnose me with arthritis but decided to be a bitch and be nasty to me instead of getting me help and support.
Now I’m much heavier than I was then (I ate my depression) still in pain with my hands and it’s spread to my wrists and elbows too, still prone to depression and massive anxiety about going to drs and being fobbed off because I’m fat.
I don’t know what to do with this information, do I complain again (it was about 5 years ago and I don’t remember her name) do I just keep on muddling along but with more of an understanding that I’m really in pain and not being dramatic? Do I see the gp and find out why I’ve not been told (and admit that I read my file which I don’t even know if you’re allowed to)