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We're not that old but we're losing our hair... Do you still need us, now we're sixty four?! - CANCER SUPPORT THREAD 64

999 replies

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 11/08/2018 13:43

Me again. Even attempted a vaguely witty title. Hopefully not in poor taste Blush

If you have cancer, or you're waiting for test results to see if you do, then please pull up a chair and introduce yourself!

Some of us have been here for ages and others are just going through the testing process now, so there's bound to be someone who understands what you are going through.

Whether you are a newbie or an oldie it can be helpful to post a quick recap of your diagnosis/treatment to date just so that other posters can keep track without having to search previous threads :)

If you have a relative who have cancer then there is a thread just for you in the Life limiting illness topic, with lots of others who are sadly in a similar boat and able to support each other. Other threads in that topic might also be of interest. We wish you and your loved one all the best Flowers

Below are some links that might be useful. But feel free to ask any questions at all. Nothing is off limits here.

Cancer patients are eligible for a medical exemption card for prescription charges - there is some information on the NHS Business Authority website or you should be able to get the form from your pharmacy or GP surgery

You can find information about the individual chemo drugs or regimes on the Macmillan website here

See if there is a Look Good, Feel Better workshop near you - they are especially useful for advice on disguising missing eyebrows and eyelashes

Ellie's Friends
Something to look forward to
Cancer Research UK
CRUK science blog - this is interesting and very useful for getting the facts behind any big cancer headlines
Breast cancer care
Shine cancer support (for people in their 20s, 30s or 40s with cancer)
NHS What do cancer stages and grades mean?
Macmillan staging and grading (this is in the breast cancer section but applicable to many other cancers too)
CRUK stages of cancer
CRUK cancer grading
Don't forget the kids

OP posts:
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plannedshock · 15/08/2018 18:21

Purple AMAZING!!!

I had bad news guys I'm terminal. Friday is when I guess I find out how long

ranoutofquinoaandprosecco · 15/08/2018 18:30

Oh @plannedshock that f*cking awful. I don't know what else to say ThanksI hope you have someone with you.

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 15/08/2018 18:32

Oh planned I'm really sorry to hear that Flowers Friday is a long time to wait with that news

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Dulcedelecherocks · 15/08/2018 18:49

Oh fuck planned I don't know what to say. Lots of love and prayers your way x

addlebrained · 15/08/2018 19:20

Oh planned - AngryAngryAngryAngry to cancer. I hope you have good support. Thinking of you Flowers

TwitterQueen1 · 15/08/2018 19:33

So sorry Planned. Do you have someone who can be with you? Do you have a partner? You must be desperate to be at home right now. Rant and rave on here.

chasegirl · 15/08/2018 19:39

Planned I am so so sorry

Mrspotter12 · 15/08/2018 19:44

So sorry to hear that planned. Hope you've got someone to hold your hand in the real world xxxx

plannedshock · 15/08/2018 19:56

I can't even put into words.
I went down for endoscopy today, and as im on the table ready to be sedated the dr said "what are you hoping from this test" I said because I can't eat they want to check my stomach, he said "you've had the results from your ct?" Yes I know it's spread locally, he did a weird face and said "ok"
So I'm obviously freaking out pull the oxygen tubes off and say tell me know because you obviously know more.
He then told me that he's the surgeon appointed to my big meeting on Friday and he's saying inoperable due to (something beginning with p in your abdo) is completely covered with cancer and that it's untreatable.
I said "I'm terminal?"
He said yes I'm sorry you shouldn't be hearing like this but I can not lie to you. The reason you can't eat is your abdo is so full of cancer it's crushing your stomach,
I lost it told them to get me the fuck out of there. Went back to my ward, the consultant who has I thought been fab, asked me what was wrong, I said you lied to me, get me the fuck home. He said he can't send me home because I will starve before the cancer gets me as I can't eat or drink. So I ended up going home for a visit had a very emotional afternoon with my partner who is the love of my life, been together since we were 17.
Lots of hugging the kids and silent tears and silent screams.
I just don't know where to go from here.

BravoOscarOscarBravo · 15/08/2018 20:10

Oh fuck planned words fail me, what a shock and what a horrible way to find out. You've been so let down. Sending you so much love x

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 15/08/2018 20:36

Bloody hell planned. You must be in complete shock.

I assume it's your peritoneum that they were talking about. It's like a big bag in your abdomen with your organs in.

I hope there's something they can do to help your symptoms.

Have you been given a specialist nurse? They can be very helpful. A.so the palliative care team are usually wonderful.

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MilesJuppIsMyBitch · 15/08/2018 20:38

God planned I'm so sorry. Fucking hell.

plannedshock · 15/08/2018 20:54

My babies. 😥
How can they be those kids? Why haven't you got a mummy?

TwitterQueen1 · 15/08/2018 20:58

they'll always have a mummy planned, even if you're not physically there. Do you want to talk about them? The surgical team will put together a plan in the meeting on Friday so hopefully you will have a way forward.

PenApple · 15/08/2018 21:02

De-lurking to send Flowers to Planned

purpleunicorns · 15/08/2018 21:05

Pebbles it's lovely to be able to wave you offThanks

I've just got out of theatre, I have a bag so I'm assuming it went ok.

Oh Planned there are no words Thanks I was told the same thing a couple of months ago and I know exactly what you're going through sheer terror/blind panic/guilt/anger. Have they spoken to you about chemo? I know palliative chemo can have positive results and it can knock the tumour back pretty well. We're all here for you day or night xx

Pandoraslastchance · 15/08/2018 21:06

Planned,I am so so sorry. It's not right and it's not fair!!! I don't know what else to say.

addlebrained · 15/08/2018 21:07

Yes planned you are their mummy and they will always love you - how old are they? Is it 2 you have? They must have been so pleased to see you today after your stay in hospital. I hope they can give you a strong plan after the meeting on Friday.
Sending you massive hugs and thinking of you x

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 15/08/2018 21:12

planned you will always be their mummy. Hopefully your team will be able to direct you to services that can help you and them to come to terms with the news. But now is not really the time to think about that. For now just let yourself feel whatever you are feeling Flowers

purple I'm very impressed at your being able to type! :) wishing you a speedy recovery

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TwitterQueen1 · 15/08/2018 21:16

blimey Purple! you must have the constitution of an ox! Glad it all went OK. I hope you have a peaceful, restful night.

Taytotots · 15/08/2018 21:21

Crap planned. What a shock and how awful to find out that way. I guess they were waiting until they'd had the team meeting but not nice to feel things have been kept from you. Thinking of you and your family. Glad you managed to get home this afternoon.

Purple glad the op was a success (and you managed not to eat the surgeon Grin).

Pebbles fantastic news. Flowers.

BravoOscarOscarBravo · 15/08/2018 21:24

pebbles so happy for you, glad you're able to sign off

purple glad you're awake and I'm impressed you're coherent enough to post!

Oh planned lovey it's just so unspeakably shitty. You will always be their Mummy. I lost a parent as a teenager and had much younger siblings at the time. He was and always will be our Dad. although FIL did suggest that I needn't worry about not having a Dad as he would step in, he's a knob at times but it comes from a well meant place

Pebble21uk · 15/08/2018 21:50

It's not my place to be here anymore but planned I am so sorry, I have no words. You will be very much in my thoughts.

Thank you all for your kindness - I wish all of you the very best for your journeys.

noodles44 · 15/08/2018 22:20

I am so sorry to hear that planned... What a way to find out too. Flowers
Hopefully the chemo they can give will be effective and totally blast the cancer. It is shit though, sorry you are having to deal with this and also that you are having to be in hospital & not at home. Glad you got home for a while this afternoon to spend time with your family though.

purple glad the op went well and hope you are munching (warm) toast with a big cup of tea Brew

mrsp I am on EC too at the moment (next chemo 2mo as is fortnightly for the EC, last EC 2mo too b4 docetaxel & herceptin) it has made me really nauseous too. I have different nausea meds this time, so hoping they work a bit better. It has been lovely today & yest not feeling sick! I have (well had now) lots of fine hair and it came out in handfuls just over 2wks after the first chemo. Fingers crossed the cold cap works for you. I shaved my head last week, so am looking forward to chemo taking a fraction of the time 2mo now.

Waves & hello to everyone.

noodles44 · 15/08/2018 22:23

Oops forgot to say great news to pebbles too. Nice to hear some good news Glitterball