Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

General health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Think something happened to me ages ago, really need advice!

4 replies

Hopeandhappiness · 24/07/2018 18:20

Name changed for this, I’ve recently name changed for so many different threads lately, if I put them all together you would get an idea of how just messed up I/things really are.

Not to go into too much detail but about 8 years ago I went travelling alone. One night I had been to a gig, I remember being drunk, really drunk. I went with a guy I met at the place we were staying, hostel type thing.

We somehow separated, I then remember meeting a much much older guy, he bought me a drink and I got to meet the band. For some reason I keep thinking he must have contacts/know certain people for us both to be able to go backstage?

I then remember being in his car, driving back to the hostel to collect my bag. From the snippets I remember, I think the plan was for me to stay with him?

Everything is such a blur but I must have passed out, the next thing I remember is waking up, it was daylight, we were laid in bed.

I remember he smelled really sweaty, a gross smell. I remember one other disgusting thing that happened once I woke. I can’t say what because I remember feeling so out of it but still present and getting involved in it?

I don’t know why I would do this! I must have been totally passed out for the whole night, I don’t know what happened in those hours.

I know it automatically sounds like rape but I don’t know/believe/think it was. I don’t kno anything. I must have been willing, to go and collect my things from the hostel?

I was with him all the next day, we went out into town, throughout the day I started sobering up. I remember the place I woke up wasn’t were we went back to? Maybe it was but I don’t think so.

I started to feel like I was no longer in a bubble and I literally, when he wasn’t looking, grabbed my bag and ran, for the subway back to the hostel.

I remember the receptionist asking what the hell I was doing? Telling me I can’t put myself in those situations. What if he had come to find me?

I don’t know what to do! This wasn’t in the uk and was 8 years ago. I’ve never ever forgot that time! It’s weird because some of my traveling days were the best of my life. I feel like a fraud and disgusting.

I put myself in that situation, I was so naive! I think this, amongst many many other things, has affected me more than I accepted. It’s affected my relationship to the point were he’s left.

What can I do, if anything? I hate feeling this way

OP posts:
Hopeandhappiness · 24/07/2018 19:01

Anyone? Could really do with some advice

OP posts:
Nogodsnomasters · 24/07/2018 22:07

If I'm being totally honest, there isn't anything you can really do about this now. You could try reporting to the police but it won't be in their jurisdiction and will be up to the police of whichever country you were in to try and chase this man, I'm assuming you don't have name/remember address etc? So therefore if there isn't anything you can physically do about this then you need to try and work out how to mentally let it go. You don't know for sure what happened and that's OK, we all put ourselves in risky situations when we are young, naive, drunk, stupid, it's not just you. I have done on more than one occasion when I was a teenager. So don't beat yourself up over this and Don't let this one experience ruin your memory of a great time traveling.

3girlmama · 25/07/2018 13:37

You could have counselling with a sexual assault counsellor? I know you say it might not have been that way, but you never know and how you are feeling is very important that it is explored and you are able to discuss your feelings and to speak to a counsellor trainer in the delicate matters of sexual issues is the best way I feel.
Have you been tested for STIs since at all? X

Hopeandhappiness · 26/07/2018 13:44

As soon as I returned I got checked!

I have been reading over the messages I sent my friend after it happened. There’s literally the whole night I can’t remember, as hard as I try, I remember vaguely waking up in the morning when it was light. We were in bed, I was either naked or in just underwear. He was definitely 100% naked

I would never ever, no matter how drunk I was, I would have never have willingly had sex with him!

I’ve got a few things lined up to get help with, everything is just a big mess. It’s destroyed my relationship

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page