What do you do when your ill?

[Nofilter]

Hi,

Looking for some perspective...

I'm a lone parent to DD (2). I have an amazing mother who I pay a salary to in a relaxed arrangement where she gave up work when DD was born and helps out but it's mainly a Grandmother arrangement really.

She lives with us and DD goes to sleep with her a few nights a week and we just go with the flow.

DD spends most time with me and we cover each other for whatever commitments come up. It's a really happy arrangement, our house is full of laughter and it's in contrast to what it was like when DD was born and we lived in our own, it was lonely and a bit boring at times with only a baby for company...

I'm currently ill and whenever I am DM expects me to just get on with it whereas Id prefer if each of us is feeling poorly to be able to take ourselves off to bed and the other one pick up the slack - why struggle through when you don't have to? I try and make a point of doing this if DM is unwell I'll sit her down and put a box set on for her, get magazines and fruit, take care of everything and make plenty of tea

We are not overwhelmed - I don't work as am now a silent partner in my businesses, and DD does 3 afternoons a week at nursery...

What do fellow OPs do when they are ill?

I think you are lucky! I'm a single mother of twins and unless I was throwing my guts up I didn't really get any help! All of what you have described sounds like luxury to me! My mum only ever had mine at her house overnight on my bi yearly night out!
It would be lovely if you could just go and have a sleep when you are feeling crappy but sadly you can't, your mum probably doesn't want you to get used to her looking after her if you are feeling rough, which must be annoying, but if she wasn't there you would have no choice!

I'm glad it's working well for you, but don't become too reliant just in case xx

Lone parent here. No mum, sister is a day’s travel away. I was ill when my ds was 18 months and I stumbled back & forth to kitchen & loo. Barricaded us in the bed room so if I was asleep, ds couldn’t escape. Three days of hell. Ex’s response was “it’s not my day”
More recently, had flu, ds 9 took over, rallied the neighbours to get us some shopping and arranged his own lift to school. He’s my pint sized hero.

Hi OP

You do sound as though you're in a rare and very fortunate position, with your mum on hand and not needing to go to work yourself. (I'm trying not to feel toooo jealous as, like many families, my OH and I both work and we only get very occasional babysitting help from family.)

I suppose it depends on how ill you are. Would you be at work if you were still working or would you have had to take a day off sick?

Unless you're too unwell to function and look after your DC safely I do believe you should just carry on as normal. If you're bed-ridden or have something horribly contagious, though, it would make sense for your mum to help out if she can.

As OP said, maybe your mum doesn't want you to become too dependent / lazy?