I have obviously NC for this...!
DD was born six years: emergency forceps. In my birth notes I asked to be stitched up very carefully and the consultant who did this took a long time fixing me up. I didn't ever look at the result, but it felt ok with my fingers etc.
DS born four years ago. Very fast. Two tears. I forgot to write anything about this in my birth notes. The midwife who stitched me did it very quickly. I said nothing at the time. It has never felt right to me but I didn't ever look. It always felt 'wide open' and wired. In addition, I sometimes find it difficult to insert a tampon deeply and suspected I might have a pro-lapse. Midwives checked me after birth and no one sad anything.
Today I stumbled across the Betty Dobson website which has images of typical women's 'bits' - I mean the whole collection: clit, vulva, vagina, labia etc. These were originally drawn to make women feel better about themselves so they understood what normal looked like. And they did make me feel better, because prior to DCs I used to think mine was flappy and awful and today I thought I could see I looked like one of those
So today I looked again using a mirror to see which of the images I most matched.
Oh my fucking god. 
I look nothing like any of these images. I have a MASSIVE wide gaping hole with very little skin between anus and vagina opening. Large pink folds pushing out from inside me out the hole. Urethra very obvious and protruding forward (never seen that before!)
On top of that, I still have piles.
It's horrendous. It looks very wrong. It is so much worse than I imagined.
I don't understand why midwives didn't say anything.
I am now crying. DH and I haven't DTD since DS birth partly because of my fears of prolapse. There is no way I could confidently feel ok about sex after seeing myself.
I also need to go for smear test. Small community and I know the nurse. I'm too embarrassed for her to know I have this.
Is there anything that can be done?
....posting without re reading before I change my mind.