Son about to undergo major surgery and Im freaking out

[deuxcheekymonkeys]

My gorgeous DS1 is about to undergo major surgery. We have known about this since our 20w scan so its not something that has been sprung on us. Im really really freaking out and worrying all sorts of horrible things and I wondered has anyone else gone through this, and if so how they feck did you cope??? Thanks x

Aaaww how old is he cheekymonkeys?

My dd had massive surgery at 14 weeks - it was an emergency though so it was good in one way as we didn't have time to worry about the ifs and maybes. It was very hard, especially leaving them in the hands of the surgeon but the nurses were really supportive.

what's he having done? If you don't mind saying.

how old is he?

it is very frightening but the nurses are fabulous

have you got someone who can go with you?

My ds was born with a cleft lip and palate - he had his first op at 10 weeks and the second at 10 months. He has subsequently had a number of operations, including two alveolar bone grafts.
I found it really hard - dh always has to take him to theatre as I fall apart.
But, he is now 15, and although will continue to have operations, they are no longer the central focus in our lives (which I tended to make them when he was younger . I don't panic until they're much nearer now!
And I have a fantastic ds who I wouldn't swap for the world - who understand that I am a total wimp with him, and teases me about it. He also has a huge amount of empathy with others who are going thru' difficulties.
You cope because you have to, but be kind to yourself, and remember that it really will be worth it for your ds's health and wellbeing.

thanks so much for your kind words girls. To answer your questions....he is 3 and 6m and has a non functioning right kidney. This needs to come out in case further down the line it disrupts the function of the left. We knew about this from 20w as the condition is called PUV and effects 1 in 8000 boys born in the UK each year. DH is fantastic but practical, Im the one having sleepless nights imagining all sorts of scenarios. CanI ask how long your kids were under the aneasthetic for and how did they react afterwards? Were they in pain (which is what I am worrying about) oh and the fact that things might go wrong. SOrry to sound so depressed but it has really affected me this week

Hi cheekymonkeys. It's understandable that you are upset at the moment. I can sympathise with the sleepless nights.

With dd's first op she was in theatre for 8 hours and in ICU for a long time so that time the pain and after GA reaction were different. We didn't have to 'deal with it' IYSWIM.

She has had subsequent ops and a couple at around your ds1's age. They are usually very good with children with regards to keeping them pain-free. And it seems to me that generally children cope surprisingly better than adults. They bounce back so quickly. I would say that coming around from a GA they are all different. My dd is usually quite 'thrashy' - she's feisty at the best of times Some children are very calm - any unsettledness is usually shortlived any way and they doze off again.

I don't know much about kidney surgery. Will your little boy be going to intensive care afterwards?

(sorry about this name BTW - I keep meaning to change back but forget 'til I come to post!)

Hi Mairy! Took me a while to realise what you meant about the name but as soon as i realised I couldn't stop laughing! Im feling more positive today as have spoken to the consultant again.....Last time he had GA he literally climbed the walls and was veryhard to settle (also sick) still at least we wil be prepared for that this time...

Yes my dd gets very sick after a GA (like me) - they can give them an anti-emetic before the GA if you mention it. It definitely helps.

Glad you're feeling a little calmer. And that the name made you smile .

I'm usually saggarmakersbottomknocker.

deuxcheekymonkeys
My dh is the practical (read strong!) one, and that really is a benefit. Your ds needs someone who will be 'normal' with him, if you're dissolving into a heap - speaking from personal experience . Of course, the downside to that is that you won't get too much sympathy from dh, but hopefully your friends and other family can provide that!