Pregnant- baby father nightmare

[Popsjjx]

Long story
I'm 27 weeks pregnant. This pregnancy was unplanned and not greatly received by myself.
My partner - asked to have children and I said no. We hadn't been together long, and I gave my reasons, he asked again and Again, I said no.
I fell pregnant about two months later.

I was pretty gutted - I'm pro choice on abortion so, if it's for you it's for you. If not then ok.

I chose to keep this baby, I had to make that choice alone. Then my partner comes along and his whole attitude changed, told me to get rid. That he wasn't ready. This was in November, it's now April and I haven't seen him. (He's army not away on tour about 2hr drive away) We'd been in contact via text and calls - but even that was limited. In the last two months he's just messed my head.

He ignored me for weeks, sent me valentines flowers. Then ignored me again and sent me Mother's Day flowers. When he doesn't even want a part of this. He told me he support me and be there and I've looked crazy texting calling. - he's old enough to know better.

He's now chosen to not speak to me at all, and I feel like no one knows how I feel.

None of my friends have been through this, they've never had to go through a pregnancy without the father and constantly feel so unworthy and low.

I'm my own worth enemy I check his WhatsApp, I check messenger to see his last online. I keep fighting the urge to text him because he won't answer. He blocked my number so I can't call him, but kept me on WhatsApp and fb ( I've since deleted him) I feel crazy.

I feel stuck and like I can't get him out of my head?

Any advice has anyone been through it?

Yes, I have. My DH spent a year talking me into having a baby with him (I have 2 elder DC), and despite my massive reservations (all of which, unfortunately, I was correct about), I agreed. He’d fucked off before the 12 week scan. Didn’t respond to me, blocked me, made his family block me. He reappeared between 27-29 weeks then disappeared again. My MH suffered hugely and I was under Peri Natal Psych because of it. He somehow popped up at the birth - still don’t know how he found out - I was too far along in labour to get the staff to boot him out. He disappeared again when she was 2 weeks old. She’s now 2 years old and we’ve still not heard or seen from him, however he regularly posts on FB about his bitter ex wife who won’t let him see his daughter

Just focus on you and your baby, prepare to be a single mother, call in every favour you’ve got, call Child Maintenance Service as soon as you feel able to when baby is born (tbh they’ve been useless and I’ve just had my first payment - grand total of £13), don’t have him at the birth, remain cordial and distant, do not chase him around constantly (like I did, it was soul destroying) and don’t let anyone tell you that you owe him anything in terms of being at the birth or access.

Hey, thanks. Yeah this is my problem, I feel like I have to chase him to get him to see this is important.

He doesn't think he's doing anything wrong, I called cms a few weeks ago to get a rough idea....

It's just not giving in to texting or chasing him. That's the hardest.

I have no clue about his family either, I never met then..:: don't even know there's names. I just have bits about him, wet met in June I fell in October 😬

He's got it all sorted he gets to run and have no worry

If you posted this on the relationships board you'd get more replies. he has behaved really badly with all this sending flowers one minute and blocking you the next. if he turns up or contacts you just be cool and no way let him be at the birth. He'll have to pay maintenance whether he likes it or not. But sounds like you're better off without him.

I feel silly I can't find the relationship board xx

@pops my ex is the same. I was stuck having a baby I didn’t really want because he was apparently so desperate to be a father again (obviously I love her to bits now) and then he just disappeared! My ex lives with his sister, rent and bill free, works as and when he can be arsed whilst his mother pays for all his luxuries knowing full well he’s never bought so much as a pack of nappies for his child, it makes me sick to my stomach. I couldn’t contact my ex due to him blocking me but I wrote several letters to his family, containing proof of him ignoring me, begging either them or him to just contact me, all of which were ignored.

If you click on menu at top right and then you'll see Body and Soul, and Relationships is there. You can either repost the whole thing or just ask for it to be moved.

I came round this pregnancy and know I can't wait for July to get here. It just amazes me, like how it's turned out this way.
It's so draining spending most of your pregnancy crying when you want to focus and be happy. But he's taken all that away from me

Oh gosh that's so bad even his family just ignored you! I feel like that'll happen if I ever get the info I need about them xx